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Tween/teen girls, puberty, and grooming
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nchr




 
 
 
 

Post  Wed, Feb 19 2020, 10:44 am
Don't have a daughter this age yet, but I have sisters and am myself a woman.
I don't think you need to "educate" your daughter with your opinions. Just let her know what is out there and that she is mature enough to make decisions about her own body. If she likes her hair, cool, if she wants to remove it, there are options like shaving and waxing. She may get her period and there are lots of things we can do to deal with it - some are bulky like pads and others are inserted like tampons, but we need to remove them approximately every 6 months for our health. Deoderant is a must, as is daily showering. Etc. Just as part of casual conversation, not necessarily a sit down becoming you talk.
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amother




Black
 

Post  Wed, Feb 19 2020, 10:47 am
nchr wrote:
She may get her period and there are lots of things we can do to deal with it - some are bulky like pads and others are inserted like tampons, but we need to remove them approximately every 6 months for our health.


I think you meant 6 hrs.
Very Happy
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amother




Pearl
 

Post  Wed, Feb 19 2020, 10:55 am
nchr wrote:
Don't have a daughter this age yet, but I have sisters and am myself a woman.
I don't think you need to "educate" your daughter with your opinions. Just let her know what is out there and that she is mature enough to make decisions about her own body. If she likes her hair, cool, if she wants to remove it, there are options like shaving and waxing. She may get her period and there are lots of things we can do to deal with it - some are bulky like pads and others are inserted like tampons, but we need to remove them approximately every 6 months for our health. Deoderant is a must, as is daily showering. Etc. Just as part of casual conversation, not necessarily a sit down becoming you talk.

It's very helpful for people to hear from others who have BTDT. Of course her body her choice, but why not share what you know can be helpful? If she doesn't want to hear you shut up, but why the assumption not to give advice?
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amother




Mistyrose
 

Post  Wed, Feb 19 2020, 10:59 am
I’m just shocked with how standard waxing is.
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amother




Gray
 

Post  Wed, Feb 19 2020, 12:07 pm
amother [ Pink ] wrote:
My pediatrician told me that we can expect a period about a year after under arm hair comes in.
So it’s not really about breasts starting to develop or pubic hair...


My pediatrician said the same, and told my DD at a well visit that she has at least another year till she gets her period. She also was not very developed - had some small buds, barely.....

She got it that day.

Ladies, don't tell your DD's about periods based on their personal physical signs...tell them when they are of age to know about it, and make sure they are prepared. You never know when they will get it (and neither does their doctor.)

(I can't wrap my brain around telling your daughter about conception before telling her about periods, but to each their own. OP, your daughter is 10! It's high time she knew about periods.)
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amother




Crimson
 

Post  Wed, Feb 19 2020, 2:01 pm
amother [ Pink ] wrote:
My pediatrician told me that we can expect a period about a year after under arm hair comes in.
So it’s not really about breasts starting to develop or pubic hair...


My daughter's period probably came a year before she had under arm hair...No rules..Was maybe a year and a few months from when she started puberty.
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amother




Firebrick
 

Post  Wed, Feb 19 2020, 2:10 pm
amother [ Pink ] wrote:
My pediatrician told me that we can expect a period about a year after under arm hair comes in.
So it’s not really about breasts starting to develop or pubic hair...


I got underarm hair wayy after my period (maybe 5 years)
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FranticFrummie




 
 
 
 

Post  Wed, Feb 19 2020, 2:17 pm
OP, you sound like an amazing mother, and I am so happy to hear that you are making such an effort to give your daughter a better education that you had.

You've gotten excellent advice here. I just want to second everyone who said to tell her about periods NOW. Even if she doesn't start for another year, the earlier you tell her, the better. Periods are "weird and ewww", so she'll need some time to get used to the idea. Hopefully by the time it actually starts, she'll be chill about it.

Give her a cute little pencil bag with a couple of junior/slim tampons and some panty liners. She can stuff it in the bottom of her back pack, and that way if she starts at school she'll have supplies and not need to go to the nurse. Most kids start first thing in the morning, though. In that case, let her take a day off from school, and buy her some ice cream.

For the love of puppies, DON'T tell anyone else in the family! My DD wanted to tell her dad on her own, when she felt like the time was right. (It turns out the time was when she needed him to go to the store and buy her some pads. LOL )

As for the other body stuff, I told DD about all of the options for hair removal and whatnot, but I never mentioned a preference either way. I didn't tell her what I do, and I didn't suggest that she should try anything. I left everything up to her and followed her lead.

I'm lucky that DD has very light blonde body hair, so there's really no need to shave her legs. She hates the idea of wearing makeup every day, and is not into fancy jewelry or clothes, so she's pretty low maintenance.
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