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Forum -> Household Management -> Finances
Separate money or bank account
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Do you have sole access to a bank account?
Yes  
 44%  [ 52 ]
No  
 53%  [ 63 ]
Would if I could  
 1%  [ 2 ]
Total Votes : 117



lilies




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Feb 20 2020, 4:47 pm
Is there an underlying reason for doing so?
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amother
Wine


 

Post Thu, Feb 20 2020, 4:55 pm
I do. It's from before marriage. I just like having some of my own money. I'm a SAHM, I might feel differentlyl if I was currently working and earning money.
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amother
Honeydew


 

Post Thu, Feb 20 2020, 4:59 pm
I realized early in y marriage that DH was very irresponsible with money and having a separate account would be best and reduce aggravation. It definitely helped the situation which is still pretty hard to deal with.
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Metukah




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Feb 20 2020, 5:02 pm
I voted no, but I actually have an old account that is only in my name. Dh also has one, but we never use either of our accounts and we know about each others account.
All our income is in one joint account and we don't have any 'separate money'.
I think my no vote is consistent with what you are trying to ascertain.
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lilies




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Feb 20 2020, 5:06 pm
Metukah wrote:
I voted no, but I actually have an old account that is only in my name. Dh also has one, but we never use either of our accounts and we know about each others account.
All our income is in one joint account and we don't have any 'separate money'.
I think my no vote is consistent with what you are trying to ascertain.


Yes, you would count as a 'no' vote.
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amother
Blonde


 

Post Thu, Feb 20 2020, 5:07 pm
my husband makes all the money and puts it into his own account he has a mail box where the statements does this cuases me much worrying if he should die or we divorce he sometimes gives me
small amounts of cash my parents were the same way it bothered my mom till the day she died
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amother
Brunette


 

Post Thu, Feb 20 2020, 5:08 pm
Joint account, I'm a sahm and all our money is ours!
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lilies




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Feb 20 2020, 5:10 pm
amother [ Brunette ] wrote:
Joint account, I'm a sahm and all our money is ours!

Is there enough to go around?
Are you on the same page as far as where the money goes?
Are you equally 'responsible'?
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amother
Scarlet


 

Post Thu, Feb 20 2020, 5:14 pm
I have an account that's under only my name, my husband has an account that's only under his name, and then we both have a joint account. Both out paychecks get deposited to the joint account, so the separate accounts are really for small change only.

My husband started this when he had some debts that he alone incurred and he agreed to pay it back through side jobs, and I opened mine just to have my own money put aside for savings. Both individual accounts are small and our main account is really where all our money comes in (and goes out).
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amother
Hotpink


 

Post Thu, Feb 20 2020, 5:21 pm
I am the main breadwinner and have online passwords. I do online passwords, etc. But DH's name is on the account and he keeps track of what is going on by phone (bank offers automated updates when you call in).
If he wants to figure out something online he'll ask me for help.
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amother
Brunette


 

Post Thu, Feb 20 2020, 5:23 pm
lilies wrote:
Is there enough to go around?
Are you on the same page as far as where the money goes?
Are you equally 'responsible'?


We discuss every bill together we budget together. Its definitely hard but BH we pay our bills.we r on the same pg.
Life is expensive but I dont feel like having kids for someone else to raise!
We sacrifice on the luxurious lifestyle and vacations and splurges but BH we get by.
I'm not a big spender and we only get what's in our means and budget and it works for us BH
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amother
Blonde


 

Post Thu, Feb 20 2020, 5:24 pm
all woman should have some money for themselves in case of divorce
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Malkqueen




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Feb 20 2020, 5:24 pm
I voted yes.

DH isn't as aggressive with savings as I am. I am more fearful that one day we may need an emergency fund. Therefore I opened a secondary savings account where I deposit a small amount weekly. It feels weird sometimes that there's money he doesn't know exists, but it also feels good to know that it's there in case of emergency.

To preempt any questions about how I keep it secret - I do majority of banking, statements are electronic/online. DH knows logins/passwords but rarely/never checks them because he knows I'm very on top of these things. He technically *can* login at any time and see that there's another account listed and question it, but that's waaaaay out of character for him.
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amother
Brunette


 

Post Thu, Feb 20 2020, 5:31 pm
amother [ Blonde ] wrote:
all woman should have some money for themselves in case of divorce


As long as ur married ur focus should be on bettering ure marriage not what if.... or plan for divorce.... that's so morbid!
Work on sholom bayis and be confident in relationship dont live together with divorce on back of ur mind! That can't be to healthy!
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amother
Apricot


 

Post Thu, Feb 20 2020, 5:33 pm
lilies wrote:
Is there an underlying reason for doing so?

We never joined our accounts after we married, just never happened. We both have strong personalities and need our autonomy. So we sit down every couple of months and divide the bill responsibilities based on our indivual paychecks. We reassess as needed. We are open and honest with each other and we each know how much the other is bringing in, discuss raises and bonuses and collaborate when extra expanses come up. Works for us.
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amother
Periwinkle


 

Post Thu, Feb 20 2020, 5:48 pm
amother [ Honeydew ] wrote:
I realized early in y marriage that DH was very irresponsible with money and having a separate account would be best and reduce aggravation. It definitely helped the situation which is still pretty hard to deal with.


Same for me except it took me.over 20 years to finally get a good job and open my own account. The money goes to household expenses but if he cant see or access it, he cant fritter it away or assume yay we have a couple of dollars lets take a vacation.
He knows it exists and is ok with it. Somewhat.
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amother
Amber


 

Post Thu, Feb 20 2020, 5:56 pm
We have joint accounts. I never realized it could be otherwise
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amother
Gold


 

Post Thu, Feb 20 2020, 5:56 pm
Our separate accounts are only our savings from before marriage. All money we make now goes into our joint account and gets spent from there too.
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amother
Violet


 

Post Thu, Feb 20 2020, 6:01 pm
Technically most of our accounts have one or the other name on them, but practically they are all joint. We both have the online logins, and whoever needs takes whatever card.

There is no "your money" or "my money".
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amother
Peach


 

Post Thu, Feb 20 2020, 6:04 pm
Yes, two accounts from before I met DH. I mostly kept them out of laziness.

I had certain direct debit and direct deposit arrangements already set up for those accounts, so I continue to use them for that. Also, one of them allows making paper checks out online for free, so that is handy.

But all of my income and all of DH's direct deposit into a joint account, and all our long-term savings and investments are in a joint account, except for 401k's (on which we are each other's beneficiaries). We use a joint credit card and generally manage everything as one big pile of money.
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