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Siblings going away alone without husbands and wives
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amother




OP
 

Post  Thu, Feb 20 2020, 11:32 pm
If your husband’s married sisters and one of his married brothers want to go away together on a family vacation without their wives and husbands, would it bother you if your husband would go without you?
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simba




 
 
 
 

Post  Thu, Feb 20 2020, 11:33 pm
No. I would be happy for him. I love spending time with my siblings and do so whenever I can.
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SuperWify




 
 
 
 

Post  Thu, Feb 20 2020, 11:34 pm
Yes it would.
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Undefined




 
 
 
 

Post  Thu, Feb 20 2020, 11:34 pm
No, I think it's nice. I've been wanting to do that for a long time with my siblings too, we just can't seem to get it together
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amother




Rose
 

Post  Thu, Feb 20 2020, 11:35 pm
How often do they have trips that exclude you and how many days for each trip?
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amother




Dodgerblue
 

Post  Thu, Feb 20 2020, 11:45 pm
I know of a family who recently crashed their empty nesting parents vacation. It was a surprise and their biggest mitzvah of kibbud av v'aim.
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amother




Ecru
 

Post  Thu, Feb 20 2020, 11:51 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
If your husband’s married sisters and one of his married brothers want to go away together on a family vacation without their wives and husbands, would it bother you if your husband would go without you?


I'd be resentful if the phrase "family vacation" was bring thrown around - but short 'siblings only' reunion, sure.
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agreer




 
 
 
 

Post  Thu, Feb 20 2020, 11:52 pm
Nope, it wouldn't bother me because I would want to do the same exact thing with my siblings.

I think you can only be upset about such a thing if you can't understand it. If you get it, because you'd love the same, then why would you be mad?

I'd get upset if it was super long or around when I was due, but if it was a long weekend? Let them enjoy..and let me do it too!!!
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amother




Gray
 

Post  Thu, Feb 20 2020, 11:56 pm
I don't understand this at all. Siblings-in-law are now part of the family.
At my sister's chasunah, the photographer wanted to take a family picture without the husbands and wives and we were all very confused.
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amother




Forestgreen
 

Post  Fri, Feb 21 2020, 12:06 am
Do the siblings have an incestuous relationship?
If so, I would be concerned. Otherwise, absolutely not-go and have fun!
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amother




Mauve
 

Post  Fri, Feb 21 2020, 12:24 am
amother [ Gray ] wrote:
I don't understand this at all. Siblings-in-law are now part of the family.
At my sister's chasunah, the photographer wanted to take a family picture without the husbands and wives and we were all very confused.


Doesn't change the fact that there is a special connection with the blood siblings, the ones you have spent your entire life with. It doesn't mean you don't love your siblings-in-law. It just means taking a few days to rehash memories, enjoy activities that hold unique meanings & just re-invent a few days like the good ole times.

And I don't get the confusion. Siblings are with you for all of your life, from birth to death. They don't don't appear suddenly into your life, and don't disappear in cases of divorce. The Torah alludes to this special connection blood relatives have. You sit shiva for blood siblings, not siblings in law.

All of this doesn't mean you can't have beautiful and wonderful relationships with your SIL. It's not an either or, both can co-exist in equal fashion.
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Just One




 
 
 
 

Post  Fri, Feb 21 2020, 12:26 am
I think this is a lack of inclusion and is really horrible towards the inlaw siblings. While there is an obvious bond between natural siblings and the appeal of such a get together is understandable, spouses should be made to feel so much part of the family as possible. Arranging an official reunion/vacation without them is so hurtful and I think really hampers them becoming a real part of the family
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amother




White
 

Post  Fri, Feb 21 2020, 12:50 am
Yes, it would bother me.

Going out for a coffee, no problem
Also if it was a one off thing, it wouldn't bother me.

A regular family vacation excluding spouse and kids? Yes, that would.

Now if he would take the kids..? That's my vacation! LOL
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amother




Babyblue
 

Post  Fri, Feb 21 2020, 1:01 am
My DH only has one brother so something like a one night trip doing something they both enjoy, I would have no problem with. DH would hate to spend a shabbat away from me unless it was an emergency so he wouldn't do that. Even if they had more siblings it wouldn't bother me if it was a short trip.
I am not close with my siblings so it's not even a question, but I do take trips with girlfriends who I consider my sisters. Like a night away. DH encourages it. It recharges me.
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amother




Lemon
 

Post  Fri, Feb 21 2020, 1:24 am
If DH would enjoy it I'd be happy for him (and happy for me not to have to go, lol), but the kids and I would really miss him alot.

On my end, I love my SIL and would love to have them join a sibling vacation.
BIL, no. I don't laugh and let loose in their presence. Also, it may end up being that each couple goes off on their own, and we don't spend time with our siblings.
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amother




Navy
 

Post  Fri, Feb 21 2020, 1:26 am
It wouldn't bother me. Siblings in law are part of the family, but I still want to spend time with the people I grew up with without people who are not that.
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amother




Brunette
 

Post  Fri, Feb 21 2020, 1:58 am
Yes. I think it's totally inappropriate and weird. I would be ok with an only girls getaway (sisters and sisterinlaw) or only men (brother and brothers in law).
But my brother's wife is now my sister. I think it's really strange to exclude them.
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amother




Apricot
 

Post  Fri, Feb 21 2020, 2:31 am
If it's a boys trips or a girls trip, that sounds nice. Together? Sounds very weird. Not altogether normal. We would never do it - our family includes spouses. my husbands is different - his family whatsapp chat excludes me. Mine includes him and all of the other marrieds - we're all together now.
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Gut




 
 
 
 

Post  Fri, Feb 21 2020, 2:48 am
No, I would be happy for him
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amother




Seafoam
 

Post  Fri, Feb 21 2020, 3:08 am
My father once went on a really major vacation that he treated to together with his siblings.
It really hurt my mother.

I can understand why one would want to do it yet, I THINK IT IS WRONG.
It causes hard feelings, inferiority, and resentment.

One should always work on welcoming their spouse into their family as hard as they can.
It is always sensitive enough with the inlaws as it is even without trips and vacations etc.
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