Affording life | Imamother

amother

Fri, Feb 21 2020, 1:40 pm

Most pple I know barely make ends meet (talking abt pple w several kids and no programs). So why in heaven name does tuition food clothing shoes camps ect have ti cost so much???? Im not marrying off yet but freaking out my oldest is 16 already.

The point isnt to have two overworked stressed out parents so life becomes affordable.

Why cant costs be lowered so everyone can afford all the basics. I cant not send kids to school or teens to camp.

Whatever. Vent.

avrahamama

Fri, Feb 21 2020, 2:20 pm

I don't see how schools and camps can lower tuition... Teachers need to get paid and the lights and heat etc. need to stay on.

But we could stop with the materialism. Constant shopping for certain trends and brands. Making sure our children are dressed to a certain style. Making/buying food that won't necessarily be eaten or maybe even shouldn't be eaten. I guess just a general buying of more stuff....

watergirl

Fri, Feb 21 2020, 2:25 pm

Some of these things are workable, some are not.

Food - what are you buying and where are you shopping? If you are like me, meat is bought on sale only, and only then for one YT meal. Otherwise, its chicken on shabbos and sparingly during weekdays.

Shoes - why are you spending so much on shoes? I never pay more than $40 for a pair. If you are buying the European shoes, it is very expensive. Shoes is one thing that is in your control. You can not shop in the Jewish stores and you should be ok.

Clothing - again, this is not a horrific expense if you shop smartly. Unless its Basic Colors or mega sales, I do not shop in Jewish stores.

Tuition for school is hard to change, most schools will work with you if you have a real financial need.

Camp - if you are using it for child care while you work, then I agree its a need. But once my kids are teens, they get jobs at camp. I can not afford to pay for camp any longer than I have to.

You ask why cant costs be lowered for the basics... what does that mean exactly? What is basic to you may not be basic to me. Can you expand upon that?

Malkqueen

Fri, Feb 21 2020, 2:26 pm

It's true that life is expensive, but IMO many of the expenses are self-inflicted. Materialism has skyrocketed, and what was once reserved for the wealthy is now considered the norm. People are afraid to appear less than perfect, and that facade is very costly.

Malkqueen

Fri, Feb 21 2020, 2:31 pm

I'd also point out that it's easy to get things for cheap nowadays. Hello AliExpress, Amazon, Dollar Tree. So many budget-conscious people are still overspending by making multiple tiny purchases that aren't strictly necessary. If you count the number of too-good-to-pass-up impulse spending on the average credit card statement, it's a significant enough number to raise some eyebrows.

sarahmalka

Fri, Feb 21 2020, 3:52 pm

[quote="amother [ OP ]"I cant not send kids to school or teens to camp.

Whatever. Vent.[/quote]
Why does one have to send teens to camp? We are not. They can work or volunteer.
Clothing- we buy secondhand or get hand me downs from friends and relatives.
We also are struggling mightily with finances. Shul membership too. Medical bills (USA). It's very stressful for sure.

amother

Floralwhite

Fri, Feb 21 2020, 6:47 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

When I was growing up, camp wasn't an option. I went until I was 12, and then I worked as a mother's helper. And tuition and food was much cheaper in those days! I think our children have very different expectations.

Food is definitely really expensive. I mean, vegetables are expensive. In my neighborhood, checked produce costs more than meat. I mean, that's just crazy. One night is macaroni night and we make soups and inexpensive cuts of chicken and fish. But I easily spend over $1000 on food in a month for my family.

baby12x

Sat, Feb 22 2020, 12:14 pm

amother [ Floralwhite ] wrote:

Checked produce and frozen kosher (like broccoli, strawberries etc are EXPENSIVE). either do without or check it yourself. You will save yourself tons.

Also, learning how to cook without meat, fish or chicken or cheese will save you A LOT (but noone wants to do that)
https://adimesaved.com/save-mo.....amily

lilies

Sat, Feb 22 2020, 8:56 pm

watergirl wrote:

Shoes - why are you spending so much on shoes? I never pay more than $40 for a pair. If you are buying the European shoes, it is very expensive. Shoes is one thing that is in your control. You can not shop in the Jewish stores and you should be ok.

Which company do you buy shoes from? I'm looking for some now and cannot seem to find a decent pair at a decent price.

watergirl

Sat, Feb 22 2020, 9:42 pm

amother [ Slategray ] wrote:

Watergirl, what's a typical weekday supper menu in your home? Do you have big boys?

Yes I have big boys.

Shabbos leftovers one night, pasta, a ground beef or cheap chicken dish, maybe tuna patties, maybe pancakes or french toast, maybe tacos (dairy), veg soup and sandwiches, etc. Always with a veg.

watergirl

Sat, Feb 22 2020, 9:43 pm

lilies wrote:

Which company do you buy shoes from? I'm looking for some now and cannot seem to find a decent pair at a decent price.

Depends. Sketchers are well made and we get them a lot. Or we go to DSW and see whats there.

amother

Pink

Sat, Feb 22 2020, 9:58 pm

watergirl wrote:

Scary - my menu sounds almost identical.