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-> Household Management
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amother
OP
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 Sat, Feb 22 2020, 7:38 pm
we moved a few years ago to a tiny 2 room basement apt because it was all we could afford. It happens to be the apt is in the basement of a very simple house but situated in a neighborhood with a lot of very large houses so we get invited out a lot for shabbos meals to people and today yet again we were invited to a family that live in an impossibly huge and absolutely stunning house. Its hard to not feel like a little country gal in the big city starting wide eyed all around. I try not to stare but I feel completely overwhelmed and awed by such huge houses especially how gorgeously they are decorated. The families that live inside these houses are down to earth warm friendly people super nice! Yet I always feel like I can never completely relax and be friends with them because -well they live in huge houses so I am simply intimidated.
1) I would love to get inside the mind of these people. Can you explain to me how it feels to live in such a huge house ?
What are you thinking when you look around at your four living rooms?!! (which to me seem completely redundant and are literally 4 rooms all decorated with gorgeous couches and chairs but you call, the living room, the family room, the music room and the sitting room for crying out loud!)
why does a person need so much "house?"
do you know that you have all this extra space you dont really need? or do you feel its normal to have 4 living rooms? Explain to me what it FEELS like to live in such a huge house. I am dying to know!!
2)do you worry about how to keep them clean? How DO they stay so clean not a scratch on the wall if you have kids?!
3) What does your husband do for a living and how did you afford such a gorgeous house if your the same age as me?
4) this one boggles me. these houses are not only stunning and decrated to perfection- there is literally no "STUFF" anywhere. The rooms are immaculate, spotless, and empty Aside from the perfectly placed couches and piano and perfectly placed tables and chairs, and the perfectly placed (with the pot chosen to match) potted plant , and the beautiful and careful mirrors and frames on the walls - the rooms are EMPTY. Where do you keep all your stuff? Where are the stacks of mail and children's projects, and cups filled with pens? regular items people need and use in regular houses? When I walk into simpler houses there is always things everywhere, even if the house is also well kept and spotless, it looks lived in. these huge houses look like nobody actually touches these rooms and I saw the ENTIRE first floor of the house!! The 4 living rooms, the 3 foyers and the empty hallway space EVERYWHERE, the 2 dining rooms , the massive empty empty gleaming and sparkling kitchen. There is no stuff! Like right now on my couch is a cozy blanket and pillow, three shabbos magazines which I was reading all shabbos, my sweater, my coffee mug on the table, a half used tissue box. their couches were all empty aside from the perfectly placed and matching couch pillow that was propped at such a perfect angle it looks like no one had sat on that couch in years.
If you live in a gorgeous and huge house can you please give me a tiny insiders view? I am curious!
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amother
Forestgreen
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Sat, Feb 22 2020, 7:47 pm
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I don't live in a big house but know people who do, and all the stuff is in beautiful closets that have a nook and space for everything. Kitchen cabinets are designed with spaces for the pens & mail too.
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avrahamama
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Sat, Feb 22 2020, 7:51 pm
OP I wonder alllll the same things!
ETA: I think along with the house comes the helo or even staff to keep it looking that way.
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Kiwi13
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Sat, Feb 22 2020, 8:01 pm
B”H I have a nice house. It’s probably nowhere near the size and glory of what you’re describing (it’s about 1550 square feet) but we have a family room and a living room. We moved to this house from a very small apartment situation that was waaaay too small for our family and badly configured.
It’s so much easier to keep a larger space clean and neat. For example, we could barely walk through our main living space before because it served as a living room, dining room, play room, and storage space. We had 3 little kids and it was almost impossible to keep it clean no matter how we organized it or downsized. It was something like a 10x15 space.
Anyway... I am grateful every single day to have a home that’s plenty large enough for my family, with room to play and eat and move freely, plus a large backyard. It’s pretty common where we live, though, so I can’t compare anything about it to NYC living. We are very far “out of town.” We live simply, all things considered. We prioritized buying a house over other luxuries, and we are extremely “House poor” for the time being.
Not sure if this answers anything of what your were asking.
I don’t think there’s anything to feel intimidated by, with regard to friends with bigger homes. I actually find that sometimes I feel intimidated by friends who have less than me because I feel like, why do I have this and they don’t? I guess kind of a guilt/inferiority kind of feeling. I didn’t do anything to deserve a more comfortable life than anybody else. It’s hard to explain but I’ve been like that ever since I was a kid, never wanting anyone to feel jealous of me, so I wouldn’t tell if I got a new toy that other kids wanted but didn’t have.
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doodlesmom
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Sat, Feb 22 2020, 8:05 pm
She is probably talking about houses that have 1550 square feet of living rooms alone.....
And yes I also wonder....like do they discipline their kids differently?
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amother
Crimson
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Sat, Feb 22 2020, 8:06 pm
OK my house is no museum (it's not either humongous), but I have a playroom in the basement with allllllllll the toys. Said playroom has closets that are very organized and have shelves all up and down with plastic bins for toys.
I have a baby, so yes there's a swing in the living room and a bouncer wherever I am, but otherwise there's no clutter.
I have 2 designated junk drawers in my kitchen.
My husband's office is his territory. I don't straighten up in there, so who knows what goes on in that room!
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amother
OP
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Sat, Feb 22 2020, 8:16 pm
I am mostly curious about question 1.
what do you think about living in such a huge house? Like do you know your house is beyond or do you think thats "normal"
I got to know another friend who also lives in an impossibly gorgeous and huge house and we once went together to a shabbos kallah in another huge house where I was trying my hardest not to stare and this friend was just chatting normally with the hostess even though it was her first time in that house also. . afterwards we walked home together and I was like wow that house was gorgeous!. and she shrugged casually and said yeah it was a nice house. like she didnt even notice! either that or she thinks thats normal!
Do people who live in big houses THINK differently?
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Just One
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Sat, Feb 22 2020, 8:17 pm
We're living in a tiny apartment too for the time being but I do know people who live in big houses.
People in big houses have the cleaning help to keep it clean. They also have the resources to update their homes often, paint yearly...
More space is less scratches "per SF" even for a large family
Lots of space means lots of closets as well so no need to have things flying around. Also these homes are usually set up with a team of decorators and organizers to ensure a great neat setup.
Often the living rooms you're seeing are not there real "living space" of the family. There's possibly be a playroom tucked away somewhere that's more lived in
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amother
Chocolate
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Sat, Feb 22 2020, 8:19 pm
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I don't know anything about four living rooms, but I can tell you that if you are the type to be organized, the more room you have, the more organized and clutter-free things can be. My not very big house used to have 5 people's clutter and detritus floating around. Now I live here alone, with just one kid's room remaining as it was. My closets look a lot neater. My bathroom shelves look a lot neater. Even my kitchen cabinets look neater now that I don't have to store my ex husband's great-great aunt's ugly china that of course could never be thrown or given away.
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amother
OP
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Sat, Feb 22 2020, 8:20 pm
| amother [ Crimson ] wrote: | OK my house is no museum (it's not either humongous), but I have a playroom in the basement with allllllllll the toys. Said playroom has closets that are very organized and have shelves all up and down with plastic bins for toys.
I have a baby, so yes there's a swing in the living room and a bouncer wherever I am, but otherwise there's no clutter.
I have 2 designated junk drawers in my kitchen.
My husband's office is his territory. I don't straighten up in there, so who knows what goes on in that room! |
oh yeah I forgot about the offices ! there was this absolutely beautiful room decorated to look like an office out of a magazine. polished mahogany desk with glass paperweights, wall to wall shelves with books, a gorgeous golden globe perched on the corner. I commented to the little daughter, wow your tattys office is so nice and she looked at me and said thats not his office, his office is down the hall.
I was like okaaay! So we have an entire room that looks like an office and is decorated like an office but isnt USED as an office.
so then what is it for?
Thats what I wonder ... do people who live in such houses ever wonder themselves why they need so much unused space?
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amother
Natural
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Sat, Feb 22 2020, 8:23 pm
| amother [ OP ] wrote: | oh yeah I forgot about the offices ! there was this absolutely beautiful room decorated to look like an office out of a magazine. polished mahogany desk with glass paperweights, wall to wall shelves with books, a gorgeous golden globe perched on the corner. I commented to the little daughter, wow your tattys office is so nice and she looked at me and said thats not his office, his office is down the hall.
I was like okaaay! So we have an entire room that looks like an office and is decorated like an office but isnt USED as an office.
so then what is it for?
Thats what I wonder ... do people who live in such houses ever wonder themselves why they need so much unused space? |
Ok so chances are you weren't in the ENTIRE first floor,even though it felt like you were.
Many people who have mega 200k kitchens, also have a more user friendly kitchen called a SLOP kitchen where all the work goes down.
So the office u saw might be the "study" to meet with people who come for donations, etc.
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GreenEyes26
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Sat, Feb 22 2020, 8:25 pm
To be honest, you just sound really insecure and intimidated. Which is fine! If you didn’t grow up this way, it’s very overwhelming.
I grew up in a house almost like that and hope to have myself one day when I grow up lol. It’s just normal to me, my mother felt her house was very important and prioritized it above a lot of other things. She didn’t spend on clothes or vacations, but she spent on her house.
BH, they had the money. If you can afford it, why not?
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lilies
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Sat, Feb 22 2020, 8:26 pm
| amother [ Natural ] wrote: | Ok so chances are you weren't in the ENTIRE first floor,even though it felt like you were.
Many people who have mega 200k kitchens, also have a more user friendly kitchen called a SLOP kitchen where all the work goes down.
So the office u saw might be the "study" to meet with people who come for donations, etc. |
It's true. I couldn't believe it at first, but yes, one kitchen is for show and one is for work.
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amother
Mint
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Sat, Feb 22 2020, 8:27 pm
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I live in a 1000 sq ft apartment so I'm not qualified to answer any of your questions. But TBH I probably wouldn't even if I could. I think it's ok to wonder about these things, but you're asking in a way that would probably make people feel very uncomfortable.
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amother
OP
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Sat, Feb 22 2020, 8:28 pm
| amother [ Natural ] wrote: | Ok so chances are you weren't in the ENTIRE first floor,even though it felt like you were.
Many people who have mega 200k kitchens, also have a more user friendly kitchen called a SLOP kitchen where all the work goes down.
So the office u saw might be the "study" to meet with people who come for donations, etc. |
Yeah your right I guess I wasnt! I guess I felt like I walked through so much oodles and oodles of house there couldnt possibly be more but I guess there was. I thought the down the hall was just a bathroom and thats it but there must have been more.
They only had one kitchen that I know for sure- because it actually came up in conversation about houses legally having more than one kitchen and host mentioned they only have one kitchen even though they do have a separate attached apartment unit in their house but they mentioned it didnt have a kitchen because they didnt want to go through the hassle of making it legal.
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lilies
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Sat, Feb 22 2020, 8:28 pm
| GreenEyes26 wrote: | | BH, they had the money. If you can afford it, why not? |
Op's question is why? Why the need for 4 living rooms? It's not about affording it, what's the reasoning? And why not ten living rooms?
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amother
OP
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Sat, Feb 22 2020, 8:31 pm
| GreenEyes26 wrote: | To be honest, you just sound really insecure and intimidated. Which is fine! If you didn’t grow up this way, it’s very overwhelming.
I grew up in a house almost like that and hope to have myself one day when I grow up lol. It’s just normal to me, my mother felt her house was very important and prioritized it above a lot of other things. She didn’t spend on clothes or vacations, but she spent on her house.
BH, they had the money. If you can afford it, why not? |
Insecure? no. Intimidated? yes.
Im not questioning if they should have it or not.. to each their own! I would just love to climb inside their minds and lives for a day!
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amother
OP
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Sat, Feb 22 2020, 8:33 pm
| amother [ Mint ] wrote: | | I live in a 1000 sq ft apartment so I'm not qualified to answer any of your questions. But TBH I probably wouldn't even if I could. I think it's ok to wonder about these things, but you're asking in a way that would probably make people feel very uncomfortable. |
well of course I haven't asked them ! That is why Im asking on an anonymous forum.
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amother
Chocolate
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Sat, Feb 22 2020, 8:34 pm
Did they design this house themselves?
If not, even people with large budgets have to pick amongst the stock of houses in the location they want. If this house had all the other features they wanted, well they might have been satisfied with 2 living rooms but this one came with four...
It's like once you want certain upgrades in a car--you can't always pick the upgrades you want, if other things come as part of the package.
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amother
Fuchsia
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Sat, Feb 22 2020, 8:35 pm
Op can you google the address to see how many sf the house is listed as and then post that here? I’m simply curious 
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