Do you live in an impossibly big house?

GreenEyes26

Sat, Feb 22 2020, 8:36 pm

lilies wrote:

Op's question is why? Why the need for 4 living rooms? It's not about affording it, what's the reasoning? And why not ten living rooms?

I don’t think they had four living rooms. They probably had a den, formal living room, regular living room, play room...etc. They all serve different purposes, if that’s important to you. Personally I don’t find that appealing, but it’s a certain style of house.

amother

Wine

Sat, Feb 22 2020, 8:37 pm

I don't live in a humongous house like you described but I do have a relative who does. There are rooms where children are literally forbidden to step foot. Some of the rooms seem to be just for show or company. The actual living is done in more comfortable rooms. The toys are all confined to a playroom. Everything has a dedicated space and utilitarian things are hidden behind doors and cabinets. They even have a room for kids to leave their coats and shoes and boots and backpacks.

The only way to keep a house like that clean is with lots of help. If you can afford a huge house you can afford full-time help. When we visit this relative we're always careful to keep our stuff in our own room because anything that gets put down on any surface in a public area gets whisked away if it's not in active use.

I live in a normal size house which sounds a lot bigger than your apartment. It certainly looks lived in! Our living room doubles as a playroom because the younger kids refuse to play downstairs in the basement by themselves. We're not so good about keeping things neat so we have stuff piled everywhere.

amother

Sat, Feb 22 2020, 8:46 pm

amother [ Fuchsia ] wrote:

Op can you google the address to see how many sf the house is listed as and then post that here? I’m simply curious Smile

7200 sf but it seems like that was before renovations which they did a few years ago , since that listing I found is from over 25 years ago.

avrahamama

Sat, Feb 22 2020, 8:55 pm

My husband's friend moved from an avg sized house to much larger one. He said he doesn't see his kids nearly as much as he used to. Like now everyone has a room to run off to and they're not all milling about in a common space.

amother

Coral

Sat, Feb 22 2020, 9:04 pm

My kallah teacher lives in a stunning mansion and they’re extremely rich people who dedicate buildings all the time etc., big gvirim ka”h. I once asked her what it’s like to have live-in maids and your own private forest retreat in the backyard and she looked at me and said “with money comes responsibility, it’s not like a vacation. I don’t have to cook and clean but I have a constant sense of responsibility and worry for the needs of the community. And no privacy. There’s a lot that comes along with such a house. No one gets an easy life.”

I know the people you’re talking about aren’t rich people on this level, but still it’s somewhat applicable. Anyway to more directly answer your question, my friends who have money do have cleaning help and fancy organization systems plus room to hide clutter away if need be. Their houses are tailor-made for their families’ needs so things are easier to maintain. As for having multiple rooms for similar purposes, well I grew up like that and yes some rooms were used mostly just for company and there was never stress or last-minute frantic cleaning because you always had a nice space available.

amother

Coral

Sat, Feb 22 2020, 9:10 pm

OP I forgot to say, don’t be intimidated by people having bigger houses than you. If they’re nice people then reach out and become friends. People in big houses don’t think about their houses as much as you and I think about ours, because we’re always running around trying to clean up after everyone and keep it semi normal looking. Their house isn’t at the forefront of their mind because they have cleaning help and enough space, so they’re thinking about whatever THEIR struggles are.

allthingsblue

Sat, Feb 22 2020, 9:10 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

the house I went to a few shabbosim ago is 9500 sf
16 baths 13 bedrooms.
ok I'll stop being nosy.

sigh...
its so far out of my reality.. but a person can dream.

I think you can be nosy online Smile

amother

Blue

Sat, Feb 22 2020, 9:18 pm

avrahamama wrote:

And I live in a 4000 sq foot house an d joke that all we need is one bedroom apartment since everyone just follows me around and is wherever I am

nechamashifra

Sat, Feb 22 2020, 9:23 pm

amother [ Wine ] wrote:

I actually prefer the smaller, lived-in house you describe. Even if I could afford a mansion, big clean spaces with no sense of clutter or life, don't appeal to me. I much prefer small, cozy lived in spaces.

Ravenclaw

Sat, Feb 22 2020, 9:25 pm

This is true. I know someone in that kind of house, and the whole front of the house is for show. Down in the basement they have a kitchen so simple, that mine is a palace in comparison. That’s the one that is allowed to get dirty. Same for a dining room and study.

allthingsblue

Sat, Feb 22 2020, 9:28 pm

Ravenclaw wrote:

That sounds extreme.
Most people I know with huge houses have at least a formal living room + den, as well as some other chilling rooms- playroom, studio, etc.
They have one huge kitchen (and maybe also a pesach kitchen) and full time help to keep it clean.

amother

Wine

Sat, Feb 22 2020, 9:29 pm

nechamashifra wrote:

LOL, me too! I just wish the real mess would magically clean itself up because I am not on top of it enough and I certainly don't have a staff to deal with it.

avrahamama

Sat, Feb 22 2020, 9:30 pm

amother [ Blue ] wrote:

And I live in a 4000 sq foot house an d joke that all we need is one bedroom apartment since everyone just follows me around and is wherever I am

And that's why I tell my husband we dont need more space because they'll all end up in my room anyway! (But I do dream about my own bathroom)

amother

Beige

Sat, Feb 22 2020, 9:32 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

the house I went to a few shabbosim ago is 9500 sf
16 baths 13 bedrooms.
ok I'll stop being nosy.

sigh...
its so far out of my reality.. but a person can dream.

Having more bathrooms than bedrooms seems pretty ridiculous. Yes, I get that more than 1 person may be staying in a room, but even 1 bathroom per person (past a certain amount) is so unnecessary. But nice for hosting when the marrieds come home! I wish I could rent a place like this for YT so married siblings could all stay together. Or reunions. Dreaming.

However, I do not dream to live in a house that size. While I wouldn't mind a larger place than where we are, it's what we can afford, and I like my neighborhood full of similar-minded "mistapek b'muat" families. I do wish we could separate LR and playroom, and limit toys to playroom, but it's just not a reality for us.

amother

Beige

Sat, Feb 22 2020, 9:34 pm

avrahamama wrote:

That is sad.