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amother




OP
 

Post  Sun, Feb 23 2020, 7:58 am
Because of many factors, my family will probably be moving to Lakewood this summer from an Oot community. (I would rather not explain why we need to be in Lakewood, but it's an important reason. )
The community we live in is diverse and accepting. I grew up Oot, my kids are real Ootners, I would classify my family as Oot yeshivish. I do not like any pressure when it comes to keeping up with the Cohns, and I know that my kids will go from being part of the most put together children in their classes, to being average, scrambling to figure out the new social culture with all its implications for dress, etc. I am afraid of their adjustment and its resulting stress and anxiety, all their emotions heaped on me, while I'm struggling to navigate through it myself. Any Ootners had to move to Lakewood and have advice or chizik for me? Thank you.
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amother




Lawngreen
 

Post  Sun, Feb 23 2020, 8:17 am
Im from lkwd but I dragged my oot husband here. Hed never been to lkwd before dating me. All of your fears are sadly legit. No advice just sympathy.

Oh- pls find a realtor u can trust if u plan on buying. The neighborhood you live in can make u or break u. Some yeshivish neighborhoods here really have little to no peer pressure..
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amother




Cerise
 

Post  Sun, Feb 23 2020, 8:22 am
Yes - find out neighbotbhoods. I live in the most non pressured neighborhood. Sooo simple. There are others that exist. It’s great to have zero pressure. (Simple clothing, strollers, cars, homes, furniture, no Shabbos shoes until school, no Shabbos coats for kids...). I’m the youngest in the neighborhood. It is an older crowd so that may be part of it but it is so worth it for me.
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amother




OP
 

Post  Sun, Feb 23 2020, 8:37 am
Thank you for the neighborhood advice, can you please name neighborhoods that are extremely low pressure like what you're describing? Thank you very much
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amother




Cerise
 

Post  Sun, Feb 23 2020, 9:21 am
Lower central ave - closer to rt 9. But You have to see if there are families your age.
Also off sunset.
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malki2




 
 
 
 

Post  Sun, Feb 23 2020, 9:21 am
amother [ OP ] wrote:
Thank you for the neighborhood advice, can you please name neighborhoods that are extremely low pressure like what you're describing? Thank you very much


OP what’s your family age? (Age range of your kids)
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amother




OP
 

Post  Sun, Feb 23 2020, 9:32 am
I have all ages, teens to lower elementary...
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malki2




 
 
 
 

Post  Sun, Feb 23 2020, 9:38 am
For starters, I’ll suggest either Rabbi Simcha Bunim Kohn’s Shul area or Rabbi Gissinger ZTL’s Shul area. I’ll let others give some more suggestions.
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amother




OP
 

Post  Sun, Feb 23 2020, 9:38 am
Also, 3 more questions:

1. As I can understand the right neighborhood is very important, but once the kids are in school, won't they feel all the peer pressure anyway, or does coming home to a low pressure neighborhood make all the difference?

2. I heard Jackson has a more Oot feel, with space and privacy...is this true, and are there different neighborhoods/blocks with different feels in Jackson?

3. Which Elementary schools do Oot transplants do best in, boys and girls...and please dont warn me it's hard to get in, I am aware, I still want to try my hardest to put my Elementary age kids in schools that will be the most comfortable for them...

Thank you very much!
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amother




Cerise
 

Post  Sun, Feb 23 2020, 9:41 am
amother [ OP ] wrote:
Also, 3 more questions:

1. As I can understand the right neighborhood is very important, but once the kids are in school, won't they feel all the peer pressure anyway, or does coming home to a low pressure neighborhood make all the difference?

2. I heard Jackson has a more Oot feel, with space and privacy...is this true, and are there different neighborhoods/blocks with different feels in Jackson?

3. Which Elementary schools do Oot transplants do best in...and please dont warn me it's hard to get in, I am aware, I still want to try my hardest to put my Elementary age kids in schools that will be the most comfortable for them...

Thank you very much!


I’m the previous poster who lives in a simple neighborhood and live simply.
My boys go to one the fancier / richer Lakewood schools. They are bH doing great. In some ways I think neighborhood influences more.
Like none of our neighbors go skiing or to Florida. I think that has a bigger affect then school.
Girls may be harder in a richer schools. My girls are in a simpler school and really ask for almost nothing. But everyone is wearing uniforms so not so many things to be pressured on.
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keym




 
 
 
 

Post  Sun, Feb 23 2020, 9:45 am
I was going to ask which school your kids were in, but you answered.
Besides for the OOT, what else can you tell us about your family? Working, learning, chassidish, heimish, American, etc.
When you say OOT, do you mean large city OOT like LA, Chicago, Detroit,
Or smaller OOT frum communities?
What kind of schools elementary, high school, yeshiva, are your kids in now?
How do you feel about keeping your high school kids where they are and dorming them?
Do you drive?
How are your kids academically?
Do your boys have any yiddish knowledge?
Did any of your kids go to sleep away camp? Which ones?

I'm in Lakewood, personally from OOT, with many OOT kids, raising Lakewood kids so I notice many of these stuff that kids struggle with.
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amother




OP
 

Post  Sun, Feb 23 2020, 9:46 am
amother [ Cerise ] wrote:
I’m the previous poster who lives in a simple neighborhood and live simply.
My boys go to one the fancier / richer Lakewood schools. They are bH doing great. In some ways I think neighborhood influences more.
Like none of our neighbors go skiing or to Florida. I think that has a bigger affect then school.
Girls may be harder in a richer schools. My girls are in a simpler school and really ask for almost nothing. But everyone is wearing uniforms so not so many things to be pressured on.


That is very helpful information, thank you. Would you mind posting your daughter's elementary school, I understand if it's too much personal information...
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malki2




 
 
 
 

Post  Sun, Feb 23 2020, 9:58 am
amother [ OP ] wrote:
Also, 3 more questions:

1. As I can understand the right neighborhood is very important, but once the kids are in school, won't they feel all the peer pressure anyway, or does coming home to a low pressure neighborhood make all the difference?

2. I heard Jackson has a more Oot feel, with space and privacy...is this true, and are there different neighborhoods/blocks with different feels in Jackson?

3. Which Elementary schools do Oot transplants do best in, boys and girls...and please dont warn me it's hard to get in, I am aware, I still want to try my hardest to put my Elementary age kids in schools that will be the most comfortable for them...

Thank you very much!


Jackson definitely has an OOT feel, but I’m most areas, the crowd is young, which is why I asked you your family size. I think the Toms River crowd is somewhat older, but I know the least about TR.
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amother




Babypink
 

Post  Sun, Feb 23 2020, 10:01 am
So don’t move there. This phenomenon of the entire frum veldt moving to Lakewood these days is a bit strange.
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amother




OP
 

Post  Sun, Feb 23 2020, 10:10 am
amother [ Babypink ] wrote:
So don’t move there. This phenomenon of the entire frum veldt moving to Lakewood these days is a bit strange.


Thank you for the input, but as I previously posted, we have a pressing reason to move to Lakewood, or we would not put our family through this upheaval.
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amother




OP
 

Post  Sun, Feb 23 2020, 10:20 am
keym wrote:
I was going to ask which school your kids were in, but you answered.
Besides for the OOT, what else can you tell us about your family? Working, learning, chassidish, heimish, American, etc.
When you say OOT, do you mean large city OOT like LA, Chicago, Detroit,
Or smaller OOT frum communities?
What kind of schools elementary, high school, yeshiva, are your kids in now?
How do you feel about keeping your high school kids where they are and dorming them?
Do you drive?
How are your kids academically?
Do your boys have any yiddish knowledge?
Did any of your kids go to sleep away camp? Which ones?

I'm in Lakewood, personally from OOT, with many OOT kids, raising Lakewood kids so I notice many of these stuff that kids struggle with.


Thank you for asking...My older kids are already into schools, yeshivos b"H, if we have to move....I'm really looking for information about Elementary schools. We are American Oot yeshivish, my husband and I went to typical yeshivos, BY, seminary, kollel, etc, we are both in education. We are coming from a medium sized city, with choices of schools and lots of frum infrastructure, but very Oot. My kids do well academically, on the more reserved side, never learned in Yiddish and dont speak it, although parent can. Yes I drive. No sleepaway camps.
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zaftigmom




 
 
 
 

Post  Sun, Feb 23 2020, 12:50 pm
The more intensely yeshivish neighborhoods like within a mile from yeshiva are much simpler and are more open minded than you would expect in my experience. New England village is a great option and less intense. I personally love Lakewood and hope you will too.
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keym




 
 
 
 

Post  Sun, Feb 23 2020, 1:01 pm
For girls schools, I'd look into Bnos Brocha, Bnos Devorah, Shiras Chaim, Bnos Tzippa (younger grades), Meoros, and Nachalas.
For boys, id look into Bais Hatorah, Ohr Shraga, Even Yisroel, and Talmud Torah of Lakewood (up to grade 4?. More yeshivish, but very simple.)

Neighborhoods, interesting enough, I would recommend to rent in Westgate for a bit. Westgate is huge, but there are so many people, you could find your crowd. And they have plenty of simple, not fancy, regular people.
Hearthstone and Williams areas are also a large down to earth crowd. It's not new construction so many houses don't necessarily have kosher kitchens.
Some areas of Jackson are more simple than others
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amother




Cerise
 

Post  Sun, Feb 23 2020, 1:21 pm
Most schools in Lakewood translate into Yiddish. But most kids don’t speak Yiddish at home.

In Jackson the area around Linda dr is really nice. I know some ppl there have kids in young teens. The brookwood areas tend to be very young.

If you do look into Jackson because you have older boys you may want to find out if there is a shul walking distance during the week (like mincha, maariv). An open beis medrish to learn during week or Shabbos. Also if there is a Shabbos Mikva walkable. Not all areas in Jackson have bussing yet.

My girls go Tiferes Bais yaakov. It’s a wonderful school but hard to get in because it’s on the small side (which is a wonderful benefit).
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amother




cornflower
 

Post  Sun, Feb 23 2020, 1:53 pm
I live in Lakewood, and will echo what other posters said:
The more yeshivish neighborhoods are simpler. Most fathers are learning or in klei kodesh, so nobody really has big budgets to be too fancy. They are also very nice and accepting and not snobby at all.
Many of the townhouse developments have this kind of crowd (Westgate, Forest Park, Chesterfield, etc.)
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