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Terrified to Move to Lakewood
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amother




Orange
 

Post  Sun, Feb 23 2020, 2:35 pm
I moved to westgate with my oot husband after living in regular Lakewood neighborhoods for 4 years. All I can say is... wow! All kinds of people, everyone extremely nice and friendly. There isn’t anything like this anywhere else in Lakewood.
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amother




Cobalt
 

Post  Sun, Feb 23 2020, 2:46 pm
I'm a native OOTer and so is my husband, and we've been living here for almost 15 years.
It's definitely much more "in-town" now than it was when we first moved. We have considered moving out of town several times. Now, though, our kids are older and we are settled. We still have plenty of issues with this town but every town has issues...
I'd recommend looking into Raintree, it's full of out-of-towners who are not judgmental and most of whom couldn't care less what you wear and what your house looks like. If you have a large family, though, the houses are small (but the lots are large). I've heard that several areas in Jackson are like Raintree as well.
Find yourself a good realtor for advice!
My boys are in Tashbar and while the crowd has evolved over the years (seems like it's one of the go-to schools for the new Brooklyn transplants), it's a nice mix overall.
My girls are in Nachlas, and we are so happy there. Loads of out of towners. But it only goes up to 4th grade this year, so that's not applicable if you have older girls.
My kids haven't gone to sleepaway camp, and neither have many of my neighbors' and relatives' kids, and everyone is just fine. There are loads of kids who don't, and plenty of options for them right here in town. There are also loads of kids who work one half to help pay for camp for the other half.
Good luck to you! It will be a big adjustment but if you find the right neighborhood and make sure to stick with your values, your kids should be just fine.
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Chayalle




 
 
 
 

Post  Sun, Feb 23 2020, 6:05 pm
OP, I think renting somewhere like Westgate for a year or two could really be a good idea. One of my siblings started off OOT and did that when she moved to Lakewood, and I don't think she regrets it. No one knows you as well as you know yourself. If you rent for a bit, you can get a better feel for which neighborhood will work for you. And it's a buyer's market, and if you buy in the wrong area it can be hard to sell.
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amother




Plum
 

Post  Sun, Feb 23 2020, 7:05 pm
I think it is a good idea to rent first before buying!
You will find people like you wherever you go in Lkwd. But many of the neighborhoods listed here are great options if you're specifically looking for a more out-of-town vibe.

I live in Hearthstone specifically. It feels like it's own OOT planet sometimes. Feel free to PM me for details.
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amother




Denim
 

Post  Sun, Feb 23 2020, 7:56 pm
Hi op,
I completely get your challenge of moving to a new place and trying to see how to make it work best for you.

That being said, the title of your thread if somewhat offensive and hurtful. Lakewood is a wonderful place that offers many opportunities. There are few other places that you can feel comfortable raising your children in such a growth oriented Torah’dik atmosphere. I personally was offered a very tempting financial offer to move out of town to a smaller but well established community, which after much thought declined because I felt that this was such a special place to raise children.

I’m not stupid, I see clearly how Lakewood has changed in the past 10 years, but I also know that like in every community you need to surround yourself with the type of people that you feel comfortable with- and Lakewood does offer plenty to choose from.
If you need to move here, why not shift your view from being “terrified “ - I would leave that for moving somewhere like communist China or the slums of Harlem.
I hope you find your place and learn to see the greatness that can be found.
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amother




Black
 

Post  Sun, Feb 23 2020, 9:43 pm
amother [ Denim ] wrote:
That being said, the title of your thread if somewhat offensive and hurtful. Lakewood is a wonderful place that offers many opportunities. There are few other places that you can feel comfortable raising your children in such a growth oriented Torah’dik atmosphere.


Why is it offensive that she is scared to move to a place that you love? She clearly explains why she is terrified, and she makes a lot of good points. It's wonderful that there is so much Torah- doesn't mean it's the best place for everyone and that everyone will thrive easily there.
Just curious, would you think it's offensive if it was "Terrified to Move to Cincinnati" or "Terrified to Move to Boston" or "Terrified to Move to Milwaukee" (or any other out of town community) and it was about someone moving from Lakewood with school aged children? Or would you understand that Cincinnati is a wonderful place, but moving there from Lakewood is a big change and can be terrifying for some. (random example, nothing in particular about these places!)
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amother




Lawngreen
 

Post  Sun, Feb 23 2020, 10:35 pm
I commented on this thread this morn (1st comment) just checking the updates..
How did noone mention bnos bracha for girls elementary?! That literally sounds perfect for OP. But I will mirror other posters- im also in nachlas and if ur elementary girls are 4th grade and under youd probably be happy there too. Idk anything about lakewood boys schools, sorry!

For neighborhoods- if u have teenagers stick to lkwd (not Jackson and TR- which tend to be younger)
Ask a realtor but some of the older developments might be a good fit for you and your younger kids will probably ease right in.. there is a lot of outdoor life in developments..
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amother




Lawngreen
 

Post  Sun, Feb 23 2020, 10:41 pm
keym wrote:
For girls schools, I'd look into Bnos Brocha, Bnos Devorah, Shiras Chaim, Bnos Tzippa (younger grades), Meoros, and Nachalas.s


Sorry see its the 1st thing mentioned here. I will say, you asked for academic - it's not but will be very welcoming to oot-ers and prob be the smoothest adjustment
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imasinger




 
 
 
 

Post  Sun, Feb 23 2020, 10:59 pm
amother [ Plum ] wrote:
I think it is a good idea to rent first before buying!
You will find people like you wherever you go in Lkwd. But many of the neighborhoods listed here are great options if you're specifically looking for a more out-of-town vibe.

I live in Hearthstone specifically. It feels like it's own OOT planet sometimes. Feel free to PM me for details.


I live OOT but have a married DD and family in Lakewood, and visit as often as I can.

I have commented more than once that if I ever moved to Lakewood (not likely, we're settled where we are), I'd want to live in Hearthstone.

One thing to keep in mind with schools. The newer ones often have more space. Do your research, and you can find a fit without much problem.
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amother




Wine
 

Post  Sun, Feb 23 2020, 11:40 pm
amother [ Black ] wrote:
Why is it offensive that she is scared to move to a place that you love? She clearly explains why she is terrified, and she makes a lot of good points. It's wonderful that there is so much Torah- doesn't mean it's the best place for everyone and that everyone will thrive easily there.
Just curious, would you think it's offensive if it was "Terrified to Move to Cincinnati" or "Terrified to Move to Boston" or "Terrified to Move to Milwaukee" (or any other out of town community) and it was about someone moving from Lakewood with school aged children? Or would you understand that Cincinnati is a wonderful place, but moving there from Lakewood is a big change and can be terrifying for some. (random example, nothing in particular about these places!)

Because you can't deny that there is tremendous anti-Lakewood bias on imamother.
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amother




Cobalt
 

Post  Sun, Feb 23 2020, 11:51 pm
amother [ Lawngreen ] wrote:
I commented on this thread this morn (1st comment) just checking the updates..
How did noone mention bnos bracha for girls elementary?! That literally sounds perfect for OP. But I will mirror other posters- im also in nachlas and if ur elementary girls are 4th grade and under youd probably be happy there too. Idk anything about lakewood boys schools, sorry!

For neighborhoods- if u have teenagers stick to lkwd (not Jackson and TR- which tend to be younger)
Ask a realtor but some of the older developments might be a good fit for you and your younger kids will probably ease right in.. there is a lot of outdoor life in developments..


Noooooo to developments. Developments are a whole new level of awful for OOTers. Trust me, I lived in one (a nicer one) for several years. Never again.
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amother




Powderblue
 

Post  Sun, Feb 23 2020, 11:57 pm
I lived I lakewood for a number of years, and past few years have been in jackson and loving it, bli ayin hara.

There are several very different neighborhoods here, in terms of age, house prices and some other specifics. Btw, some of the areas do have teenagers if that matters to you.

I would recommend speaking with r. Yitzchok Pollack, he knows a lot about teh neighborhoods and is a mensch and pleasure to deal with.

Hatzlacha, and feel free to ask any auestions.
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bnm




 
 
 
 

Post  Mon, Feb 24 2020, 8:05 am
If you move to Jackson or Toms River make sure the schools you apply to have bussing there.
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amother




Babyblue
 

Post  Mon, Jun 01 2020, 9:02 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
Because of many factors, my family will probably be moving to Lakewood this summer from an Oot community. (I would rather not explain why we need to be in Lakewood, but it's an important reason. )
The community we live in is diverse and accepting. I grew up Oot, my kids are real Ootners, I would classify my family as Oot yeshivish. I do not like any pressure when it comes to keeping up with the Cohns, and I know that my kids will go from being part of the most put together children in their classes, to being average, scrambling to figure out the new social culture with all its implications for dress, etc. I am afraid of their adjustment and its resulting stress and anxiety, all their emotions heaped on me, while I'm struggling to navigate through it myself. Any Ootners had to move to Lakewood and have advice or chizik for me? Thank you.

Hi! Just curious what neighborhood you decided to settle in? I’m also Looking to find my niche. I’m originally from oot as well and have teen kids.
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amother




Puce
 

Post  Mon, Jun 01 2020, 9:58 pm
bnm wrote:
If you move to Jackson or Toms River make sure the schools you apply to have bussing there.


I moved to Lakewood this year from OOT. It’s been an adjustment for us. I’d be happy to chat more, I also have a range from teens to littles. I’m not leaving my SN here, but ask bnm to hook us up if you’re interested.
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