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Forum
-> Working Women
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amother
OP
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 Mon, Feb 24 2020, 3:39 pm
[EDITED FOR CLARIFICATION]
My boss likes to think there's no way that I, as a "yiddishe Mommy," could ever make over $60,000 in an office without getting a full time job in a non Jewish company in Manhattan. Part of his cheshbon in saying this is that Mommies need to take off for chumash plays, sick days, Chol HaMoed, Purim, etc. (My husband takes off all of the above besides chumash plays, which are not yet relevant for our young family.) Also, because sometimes we go on maternity leave. In other words, we're not as reliable. On the flip side, he prefers Jewish women over non-jewish women who are more difficult to work with, and perhaps also refrains from hiring men because women are better multitaskers. So I'm not sure how this all balances out, but he's still sticking to the narrative that "no Lakewood Mommy who doesn't have a degree or her own business is making over $60K."
I work as a Director of Marketing and bring a ton of value to my company. I have nearly 5 years experience and work 30 hour weeks.
What's your opinion on this?
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FranticFrummie
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Mon, Feb 24 2020, 3:41 pm
What does being a mommy have to do with it?
Looking at your title, I thought you were posting about babysitting or being a nanny (BTW, the pay is terrible.  )
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shabbatiscoming
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Mon, Feb 24 2020, 3:43 pm
Im also confused as to what being a mother has anything to do with what salary you would make.
There isnt any correlation. Or at least there never should be.
And in terms of how much one makes, it depends on what field one is in and so many other details.
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amother
Red
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Mon, Feb 24 2020, 3:48 pm
Do you mean how much can a woman make? Or a woman with other responsibilities, ie working less hours and taking off more?
It's hard to say what you can make without knowing the area and the market, etc. but I will say it's concerning to hear that your boss gave you a cap. You should make more as the company grows and makes more money- there shouldn't be a set 'limit'. And it shouldn't make any difference if you are a man or a woman- only the work that you do.
I once had a boss say to my face that if I were a man he would be paying me almost double to do the exact same job. Besides the fact that there are major legal problems with saying that, it was obnoxious. Needless to say, he is no longer my boss.
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amother
Ecru
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Mon, Feb 24 2020, 3:48 pm
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Lol the title is funny. I'm like 'professional mommy'? Where do I hire one?
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Rubber Ducky
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Mon, Feb 24 2020, 3:51 pm
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Sounds like you're bringing in a lot of money to your company. You might want to speak to a recruiter to get a better sense of what your salary might be if you went elsewhere and what prospects are for a 3/4 time employee.
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FranticFrummie
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Mon, Feb 24 2020, 3:55 pm
| amother [ Ecru ] wrote: | | Lol the title is funny. I'm like 'professional mommy'? Where do I hire one? |
If you're in Israel, PM me. I start at 40 shekels an hour and I have great references, including two very happy Imamother posters. 
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amother
Natural
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Mon, Feb 24 2020, 3:55 pm
I make 52K and work 32 hours a week. Free health insurance and paid yt, secular holidays, and pto.
Not NYC.
I have the flexibility to work from home whenever I need to and attend all plays etc.
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amother
Mistyrose
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Mon, Feb 24 2020, 5:26 pm
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I make 70k working part time in frum company and many of my peers make the same.
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amother
Jetblack
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Mon, Feb 24 2020, 5:29 pm
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I make 85k in a frum office not in Manhattan. I work about 38 hours a week but I also have a business degree....
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amother
Turquoise
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Mon, Feb 24 2020, 6:14 pm
I think I can really help you because I’m a Director of Marketing at a company in Lakewood 
First, let me just comment that it sounds like you were having an argument with your boss about this - not a good idea. If he doesn’t value your work then you can look elsewhere but don’t engage, it’s a downward spiral.
I have no degree but many years experience in a very valuable marketing niche. I’m 100% a Mommy first; my husband is not available so I take off for every play, kid who is sick, etc. That said, I’m a very hard worker with experience. I’m making more than 60K even after cutting my hours over time to approximately 20 hours/week. Take that, male chauvinist boss.
I have gotten excellent job offers from non-Jewish corporate companies but was not willing to trade in my role as a mother for the money.
I can give you an email address to PM me if you’d like to discuss.
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avrahamama
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Mon, Feb 24 2020, 6:16 pm
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I think he could probably get himself into a lot of employment liability trouble for those comments. ..
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amother
Taupe
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Mon, Feb 24 2020, 6:23 pm
| amother [ Turquoise ] wrote: | I think I can really help you because I’m a Director of Marketing at a company in Lakewood
First, let me just comment that it sounds like you were having an argument with your boss about this - not a good idea. If he doesn’t value your work then you can look elsewhere but don’t engage, it’s a downward spiral.
I have no degree but many years experience in a very valuable marketing niche. I’m 100% a Mommy first; my husband is not available so I take off for every play, kid who is sick, etc. That said, I’m a very hard worker with experience. I’m making more than 60K even after cutting my hours over time to approximately 20 hours/week. Take that, male chauvinist boss.
I have gotten excellent job offers from non-Jewish corporate companies but was not willing to trade in my role as a mother for the money.
I can give you an email address to PM me if you’d like to discuss. |
I'm not OP but following. U make 60k for part time/20 hours a wk?
Do you have a degree? I'm working in insurance office and making about 40k for 20 hours a wk and I want a raise. I run the whole office
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amother
Black
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Mon, Feb 24 2020, 6:24 pm
| amother [ OP ] wrote: | [EDITED FOR CLARIFICATION]
My boss likes to think there's no way that I, as a "yiddishe Mommy," could ever make over $60,000 in an office without getting a full time job in a non Jewish company in Manhattan. Part of his cheshbon in saying this is that Mommies need to take off for chumash plays, sick days, Chol HaMoed, Purim, etc. (My husband takes off all of the above besides chumash plays, which are not yet relevant for our young family.) Also, because sometimes we go on maternity leave. In other words, we're not as reliable. On the flip side, he prefers Jewish women over non-jewish women who are more difficult to work with, and perhaps also refrains from hiring men because women are better multitaskers. So I'm not sure how this all balances out, but he's still sticking to the narrative that "no Lakewood Mommy who doesn't have a degree or her own business is making over $60K."
I work as a Director of Marketing and bring a ton of value to my company. I have nearly 5 years experience and work 30 hour weeks.
What's your opinion on this? |
Um it's a job that involves your skill and value. He isn't allowed to judge based on your lifestyle. If it really were the case he would up your salary and maybe pay hourly or be particular with amount of days that can take off.
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amother
OP
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Mon, Feb 24 2020, 6:39 pm
| amother [ Turquoise ] wrote: | I think I can really help you because I’m a Director of Marketing at a company in Lakewood
First, let me just comment that it sounds like you were having an argument with your boss about this - not a good idea. If he doesn’t value your work then you can look elsewhere but don’t engage, it’s a downward spiral.
I have no degree but many years experience in a very valuable marketing niche. I’m 100% a Mommy first; my husband is not available so I take off for every play, kid who is sick, etc. That said, I’m a very hard worker with experience. I’m making more than 60K even after cutting my hours over time to approximately 20 hours/week. Take that, male chauvinist boss.
I have gotten excellent job offers from non-Jewish corporate companies but was not willing to trade in my role as a mother for the money.
I can give you an email address to PM me if you’d like to discuss. |
Yes, would love to discuss with you.
I did not get into any arguments with my boss about salary in all the years I've been working for him. He just likes to play all his pieces whenever I bring up the topic of a raise/salary change (which I've done only twice or three times in five years). Some of those are, "you'll never be happier anywhere else," "they won't pay you on time," "you can't get paid well as a Mommy," etc.
I know I'm making him sound very manipulative and rude, but in fact, he's a very good boss and I'm happy 90% of the time. He just gets very defensive/scared when I talk about leaving since he relies on me in a very big way and is terrified of having to replace me... Guess it brings out the worst in him
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amother
Oak
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Mon, Feb 24 2020, 6:48 pm
I'm a mommy of many. I make 150k plus get health and medical benefits, 401k, and vacation time.  
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amother
Smokey
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Mon, Feb 24 2020, 6:51 pm
| amother [ Oak ] wrote: | | I'm a mommy of many. I make 150k plus get health and medical benefits, 401k, and vacation time. |
You're very blessed. Baruch Hashem.
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dancingqueen
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Mon, Feb 24 2020, 7:10 pm
| amother [ OP ] wrote: | Yes, would love to discuss with you.
I did not get into any arguments with my boss about salary in all the years I've been working for him. He just likes to play all his pieces whenever I bring up the topic of a raise/salary change (which I've done only twice or three times in five years). Some of those are, "you'll never be happier anywhere else," "they won't pay you on time," "you can't get paid well as a Mommy," etc.
I know I'm making him sound very manipulative and rude, but in fact, he's a very good boss and I'm happy 90% of the time. He just gets very defensive/scared when I talk about leaving since he relies on me in a very big way and is terrified of having to replace me... Guess it brings out the worst in him |
Apply for some other jobs. If you get a higher offer you can bring it back to your boss and see if he’ll match it.
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amother
Aquamarine
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Mon, Feb 24 2020, 7:15 pm
You might find the blog "ask a manager" helpful.
She is a former HR professional & has lots of info on discussing raises/salary/job changes etc .
Also what your boss is doing is highly illegal.
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) may be the only way I can find my voice when my boss tries shutting me down...