Mah Pitoms' suggestion of hosting a special-needs child.

grin

Tue, Jan 22 2008, 1:34 am

I actually thought of it as a wonderful tip for a chesed opportunity as well as a look on "the other side". On the other hand (must be an abbrev. for that one too!), I have a close friend with several "special" children, on varying levels of ability. But when we compare our challenges and when I see her kids, I see b'chush the truth that chazal tell us that these are special neshamas, in a very positive sense.
She doesn't deal with the tzniyus and chutzpa issues of "normal" children. Her challenges aren't easier than mine; they're different.

mimivan

Tue, Jan 22 2008, 2:07 am

rg:
Do you have the source from chazal that says special needs children have special neshamos? I have a special needs child and a quote like that would really help give me chizuk...

grin

Tue, Jan 22 2008, 2:12 am

I'll try to look up specific sources, bli neder. I've also heard stories of gedolei yisroel standing up in the presence of such a child because of this.

lotte

Tue, Jan 22 2008, 9:11 am

rg wrote:

If I remember correctly, that was the Steipler, a"h.

It was the CHAZON ISH Z"L!!
Every time a special child would walk into his room-he would stand up!
AMAZING!

downsyndrome

Tue, Jan 22 2008, 9:54 am

Please refer back to the title of this thread: what is it that Mah Pitom suggests? Some details please. I'm sending her my kids and I'm off on a vacation!!!

downsyndrome

Tue, Jan 22 2008, 10:42 am

Okay; I found the original thread. Wow! She is getting a lot of flack there! Hey, Mah Pitom! When can I call the travel agent? I'm already packing my kids; do you have beds for them?

gigi

Tue, Jan 22 2008, 11:04 am

mimivan wrote:

rg:
Do you have the source from chazal that says special needs children have special neshamos? I have a special needs child and a quote like that would really help give me chizuk...

read this book. it is incredible. it's a whole book of chizuk!
it makes you love and respect these children sooo much!

Secrets of the Soul by,Rabbi Yehuda Srevnik

(it says on the book jacket.,
distributed by ISRAEL BOOK SHOP
888-536-7427 732-901-3009

MahPitom

Tue, Jan 22 2008, 5:13 pm

downsyndrome wrote:

Okay; I found the original thread. Wow! She is getting a lot of flack there! Hey, Mah Pitom! When can I call the travel agent? I'm already packing my kids; do you have beds for them?

I'm having a kid here all of next week. Following that, I'm all yours. I also have a slot until motzi shabbos, starting now.

GAMZu

Tue, Jan 22 2008, 10:18 pm

Gig, tell me more about that book. I might want to get it as a gift for my friend who just had a baby (with d.s.)
Would it be appropriate?

rg, when my friend first told me that her baby has d.s. I was very much "on the spot." I didn't have time to plan what to say, obviously.
I actually told her what you said in your first post: Every child is different and has unique challenges. (She has many kids before this baby, so she knows!) And every child has their own spot in the sun. There will be hard times, but there will also be moments that you wouldn't trade for the world.
(I have worked with special needs kids, so I wasn't talking in "cliches"- I meant it.)

MahPitom, what you are doing is totally amazing.

grin

Wed, Jan 23 2008, 12:18 am

My original reaction came simply from seeing her children and hearing about her challenges. Yes, of course they take much more time and effort in the physical realm and there is the deep sadness that comes from them not every really growing up.
But on the other side, her children are so aidel and tzniyus, with amazing midos.
I am quite challenged by my super-charged bright and talented children, in a very different way. I like to think about it as similar to the differences between the nisyonot of being rich or poor. They're both nisyonos, and Hashem equipps each parent differently to meet the challenge.

grin

Wed, Jan 23 2008, 4:49 am

Here's what I came up with so far:
http://www.chabad.org/news/art.....l.htm
http://www.aish.com/family/men.....k.asp
Lets's keep looking - I'm sure there's a lot more!

ffbmom

Wed, Jan 23 2008, 5:33 am

My dd volunteers at the Friendship Circle. It is run by Chabad, though most of the volunteers and very few of the children are Lubavitch. They run many different programmes for special needs children. My dd volunteers in the Sunday programme, where they have a group of special needs kids for Sunday 10:30-1:00. The kids have a great time and it gives parents a break. Other programmes are run on Shabbos and volunteers also take these children on trips, etc. Contact Chabad if anyone is interested.

Mitzvahmom

Wed, Jan 23 2008, 7:36 am

why are you pulling me into this??

My brother is autistic, I know what it means to be in a home with a special-needs child! I grew up defending and fighting for him to have a normal life!

The day after I went to college he pushed my mom down the stairs, because he wanted ME! I know the struggles...

So I know how much love and understanding goes into a special child. BTW I am the one that pushed my mom to put him in a group home, and B"H he's doing much better.

gigi

Wed, Jan 23 2008, 12:20 pm

GAMZu wrote:

Gig, tell me more about that book. I might want to get it as a gift for my friend who just had a baby (with d.s.)
Would it be appropriate?
.

the book is about FC - facilitated communication.
through this communication the children can express fluent thoughts and feelings.
they reveal their spiritual purpose in the world.
it is profound and very moving.
it makes you realize that there is a pure and whole neshama within their compromised body.
people tend to relate to the mentally handicapped, as if they are on a lower level..closer to that of an animal (lehavdil)
this book lets you see inside their soul.

much of the book is made up of word for word interviews with these children.
I love it. my husband and I have both read it multiple times.
if you have any more questions.. please ask.