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Siddur parties, mother-daughter evenings, school events
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Poll

Do you enjoy attending these events?
I don't, but I have no choice
 25%  [ 21 ]
I love them and look forward to each one!
 31%  [ 26 ]
I don't mind them
 42%  [ 35 ]
Total Votes : 82


amother




OP
 

Post  Tue, Feb 25 2020, 4:08 pm
How do you feel about attending these functions?
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amother




Taupe
 

Post  Tue, Feb 25 2020, 4:10 pm
I love love love attending my kids school events.
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amother




Silver
 

Post  Tue, Feb 25 2020, 4:16 pm
I don't mind them in theory but I hate when they
A. charge money for them
B. make them so long and drawn-out
C. waste so much school time preparing for them

Usually one of the above happens, if not all three!
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amother




Bisque
 

Post  Tue, Feb 25 2020, 4:30 pm
I like them but at the westchester day school they lasted two hours for a play
grandparents cam to
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DrMom




 
 
 
 

Post  Tue, Feb 25 2020, 4:36 pm
It varies.

In principle, they are fun; in practice, they are sometimes too long, too boring, etc.






Edited to correct typo.


Last edited by DrMom on Wed, Feb 26 2020, 1:31 am; edited 1 time in total
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notshanarishona




 
 
 
 

Post  Tue, Feb 25 2020, 5:10 pm
It depends on the timing , if I need to leave work or get a babysitter to attend . It depends on the type of event and how long it's for . Also depends if my child has a real part in it or just talks for 2 seconds and then I feel like it's a waste .
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s c




 
 
 
 

Post  Tue, Feb 25 2020, 5:39 pm
Absolutely loved the cute primary school ones like siddur and chumash parties. High school plays that drag on for hours, not so much. Even though I'm thrilled for the girls who have worked so hard, I'm always bored out of my mind!
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amother




Lavender
 

Post  Tue, Feb 25 2020, 7:17 pm
Depends if it’s for grandparents as well. We have a complicated family and having the grandparents there is highly stressful. If we don’t invite them, they get extremely insulted and that’s not something I like either. If it’s just for parents, it’s beautiful.
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amother




Green
 

Post  Tue, Feb 25 2020, 8:41 pm
I love them, even though I can't always attend. But my kids' school knows how to keep them short. I would not want to go see a two hour production.
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amother




Beige
 

Post  Tue, Feb 25 2020, 9:16 pm
it depends but mostly not
my kids used to go to a montessouir school and I found it annoying that the other grades in the multi age class"participated" in the siddur and chumash parties so I would have to go to at least one of them every.single.year.

I also don't like it when it's huge and chaotic.
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amother




Honeydew
 

Post  Tue, Feb 25 2020, 10:05 pm
I wish I could go. Unfortunately, for some reason, hashem didnt make my dh successful in parnassa, so I am forced to work and my job is not flexible such that I need my sick days for emergencies or sickness so I cant attend during the week. I also work over the weekend, so I cant attend sunday either.

I wish I can only be a mommy and go to these events, but unfortunately, I'm like the dad always working to pay my bills....I dont know many women in my position as most women are always attending their kids' events.
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amother




Ivory
 

Post  Tue, Feb 25 2020, 11:49 pm
Once a year, maybe twice a year for no longer than an hour and we are good. Our principal had the idea that the mothers in our community wanted to come every other month. It was terrible. She thought they were all stay at home moms (most are not). And there was an event every other month. Finally we talked her down to 2 a year.
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amother




Burlywood
 

Post  Wed, Feb 26 2020, 1:20 am
My daughter's preschool does a 25 minute performance. It is absolutely adorable. Every child sings along to all the songs and they each have a one line solo. The kids feel like a million bucks, it's short and to the point, and the cutest thing ever!
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amother




Apricot
 

Post  Wed, Feb 26 2020, 2:16 am
I like them but my kids are still little so it might be that I haven't gotten bored yet!
What I hate is that they are 10 am on a Tuesday. Too late to hang around after carpool but not enough time to get to work and do something before running out.
I punch a clock at my job. I am the main breadwinner now as my husband lost his job. Want me to be able to pay tuition? My kids have lunch, shoes without holes and clothes that fit (even Walmart and Target cost money), or a roof over their heads? Don't make me lose my job or get a huge chunk of my paycheck gone just for one play!
I had a parent child activity for my preschool kid. Ok, it was on one of those legal holidays that most working parents are off. But I have to work. They sent out the flyer telling us to call or email which time slot we want, ONLY at the kids' dismissal so I only got it when I came home from work hours later. I immediately sent an email in asking for the first slot as I work that day as I work in a field that isn't off holidays and I can't switch off because hey, chag is always around the corner... I was told I was too late as they had been claimed. After much maneuvering I was able to get one of those slots. C'mon, save those slots for the moms who WORK. The secretary thought it mind blowing and impossible (No, I don't work at the school which might be more understanding of me ducking out for the 15 minutes And having an aide proctor solo work or something. We aren't all lucky to get 2 months off each summer, erev chag off, issru chag off, the whole Yom tov and chol hamoed off plus random other days... I didn't even get Labor Day off! And no, I don't get paid much better. We can't all get jobs in schools especially if your husband's first name isn't Rabbi...)

So frustrating and when I point out that I WORK 40 hours a week I get the "oh most moms don't work full time so we need to be considerate of them..." Or the line " you work for fun right? Not to pay tuition or rent or for food..." Um, no.

NO! NO! NO!
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amother




Honeydew
 

Post  Wed, Feb 26 2020, 6:23 am
amother [ Apricot ] wrote:
I like them but my kids are still little so it might be that I haven't gotten bored yet!
What I hate is that they are 10 am on a Tuesday. Too late to hang around after carpool but not enough time to get to work and do something before running out.
I punch a clock at my job. I am the main breadwinner now as my husband lost his job. Want me to be able to pay tuition? My kids have lunch, shoes without holes and clothes that fit (even Walmart and Target cost money), or a roof over their heads? Don't make me lose my job or get a huge chunk of my paycheck gone just for one play!
I had a parent child activity for my preschool kid. Ok, it was on one of those legal holidays that most working parents are off. But I have to work. They sent out the flyer telling us to call or email which time slot we want, ONLY at the kids' dismissal so I only got it when I came home from work hours later. I immediately sent an email in asking for the first slot as I work that day as I work in a field that isn't off holidays and I can't switch off because hey, chag is always around the corner... I was told I was too late as they had been claimed. After much maneuvering I was able to get one of those slots. C'mon, save those slots for the moms who WORK. The secretary thought it mind blowing and impossible (No, I don't work at the school which might be more understanding of me ducking out for the 15 minutes And having an aide proctor solo work or something. We aren't all lucky to get 2 months off each summer, erev chag off, issru chag off, the whole Yom tov and chol hamoed off plus random other days... I didn't even get Labor Day off! And no, I don't get paid much better. We can't all get jobs in schools especially if your husband's first name isn't Rabbi...)

So frustrating and when I point out that I WORK 40 hours a week I get the "oh most moms don't work full time so we need to be considerate of them..." Or the line " you work for fun right? Not to pay tuition or rent or for food..." Um, no.

NO! NO! NO!


Yes, I can relate.
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amother




Copper
 

Post  Wed, Feb 26 2020, 9:04 am
I'm not up to high school yet but I have children in preschool through middle school. I kind of like the preschool presentations because the children are just so adorable and so proud of themselves. The shows for the older kids are sometimes torturous because the staff takes themselves too seriously and suck all the fun out of it. My oldest daughter hates participating in them but she doesn't have a choice in the matter and of course I have to go to support her anyway even if she'd rather not be there herself.

I get very frustrated with the timing of things sometimes. I understand that there is really no time that works for everyone because we all have different schedules. The worst is when they schedule things smack in the middle of dinnertime/bedtime. It's not an easy time to get out of the house. I also really dislike the Friday morning workshops at the preschool because Fridays are busy days and it throws my whole day off. I have to bring my child in late instead of putting him on the bus and bring him home with me instead of getting those couple of hours to take care of things at home without him underfoot.
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amother




Red
 

Post  Wed, Feb 26 2020, 9:34 am
I have been in jobs where I just couldn't go, and I have sent my mother or my husband, and my kids have been fine. Even to birthday parties. The other kids even said - oh we wish our grandmother could come (totally missing the point that the mother was not there).

To the mother that said she wishes she could go ... maybe go to a few and then you will realize that you aren't missing that much (in my opinion). And I do love my kids, and I am proud of them, but I'm just not into the school events. I find the vast majority of them to be a waste of time.
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Chayalle




 
 
 
 

Post  Wed, Feb 26 2020, 9:41 am
I like them. I also love the opportunity to see my daughter in school, and see and connect to parents of her schoolmates. It's a great opportunity to get more of a window into her life outside of my home.
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amother




Aqua
 

Post  Wed, Feb 26 2020, 10:26 am
amother [ Apricot ] wrote:


So frustrating and when I point out that I WORK 40 hours a week I get the "oh most moms don't work full time so we need to be considerate of them..." Or the line " you work for fun right? Not to pay tuition or rent or for food..." Um, no.

NO! NO! NO!


That is just crazy. Where do you live? I've lived in many communities, and in almost all of them most moms worked part to full time, and nobody did it for fun! That's ridiculous.
In our schools, maybe one function a year is in the morning, and only for mesibat siddur. The rest are in the evening so working parents can attend. It's assumed most if not all parents work.
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perquacky




 
 
 
 

Post  Wed, Feb 26 2020, 1:47 pm
My kids are older now, but when they were little I would always attend. Because my mother could never come to mine. She couldn't get off work, and while I understand that now as an adult, it made me sad as a kid. (My father could usually attend.)
I work for a very flexible company, so it's never a problem to take a morning or afternoon off. And I never wanted my kids to feel the way I did.
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