Bad to let kids sleep in room?

amother

Tue, Feb 25 2020, 5:43 pm

My 7yo gets very anxious when she wakes up at night and the house is all dark. Takes her a long time to fall back asleep in her own bed. Is it terrible to let her come into our room and sleep on the floor?

Hashem_Yaazor

Tue, Feb 25 2020, 5:55 pm

No it's not terrible. You do what is best for your child and family.

amother

Blush

Tue, Feb 25 2020, 5:57 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

My 7 year old sleeps in my room every single night.
I'm tired. He used to sleep on my husbands bed but now he is too big. He tried my bed but I can't I need my bed!

So he sleeps on our floor. I'm not interested in investing myself in something that is going to end eventually.

Hate it. Love him.

ra_mom

Tue, Feb 25 2020, 5:59 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Can you leave on nightlights? We don't keep the house dark.

amother

Lavender

Tue, Feb 25 2020, 6:04 pm

No, it's not bad. But the older the child gets, the harder it'll be to stop.
I have nights in the kitchen and hallways. Make sure her room isn't pitch dark.

amother

Tue, Feb 25 2020, 7:36 pm

ra_mom wrote:

Can you leave on nightlights? We don't keep the house dark.

We leave on the hall light and bathroom light and she has a lamp. I think it's more separation anxiety. We did CIO when she was a baby and I keep wondering if it scarred her Sad

amother

White

Tue, Feb 25 2020, 7:57 pm

The Kissing Hand (The Kissing Hand Series) https://www.amazon.com/dp/1933.....FEV83

amother

Aubergine

Tue, Feb 25 2020, 8:03 pm

Not bad, you do what you need to do (unless ot start interfering with your marriage, then you'd need another solution). My best friend and her siblings all came to their parents regularly in the middle of the night till fairly late ages (some as late as 10 or 11) all are normal, independent, functioning adults today.

ra_mom

Tue, Feb 25 2020, 8:04 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

We leave on the hall light and bathroom light and she has a lamp. I think it's more separation anxiety. We did CIO when she was a baby and I keep wondering if it scarred her Sad

You didn't scar her.
It's ok to allow her in and you'll put up boundaries when you need to.
When my daughter was 5 she went through a period where she was scared and came into our room at night. At that time we let her bring her blanket and sleep on the floor. After a while we changed things. But for a few months this is what worked.

amother

Puce

Tue, Feb 25 2020, 8:07 pm

I would absolutely not let on a regular basis. If she’s sick or something that’s a different story. But it’s up to you as the mom. (And your husband)

amother

Yellow

Tue, Feb 25 2020, 8:39 pm

When I was younger (about 4th grade I think) I had fears at night. Every night I would come to my parents room. And every night my father would sit outside my room until I fell back asleep. He would learn or say tehillim or maybe just sing I just remember hearing something. Eventually it passed.
Noone wants to be alone when they're afraid. And absolutely it can be trauma from when they were a baby. Dont repeat it!!! Either stay in/by their room or let them come to you for a time and then go back with them.
Good luck, nighttime difficulties are no fun.

zaftigmom

Tue, Feb 25 2020, 8:59 pm

I wouldn't blame it on CIO. I never let my daughter cry and she's been sleeping in my bed every night for the last year. It's only a problem if it's a problem for you.

HelloG

Sun, Mar 01 2020, 8:33 pm

wow you have no idea what this meant to me
I thought it was crazy that my six year old ends up on the floor on a nightly basis
hooray

amother

Linen

Sun, Mar 01 2020, 9:20 pm

I have 2 girls. Neither took a paci or thumb as a baby and were really hard to get to bed. We eventually did CIO with both. Took 3 nights and that was it. One had an anxious personality and one is super chilled. The way we curbed the anxious one coming into our room was moving them in together.
Cio didnt cause anxiety IMO

P.s my 3rd takes a paci and is an amazing sleeper since he was a newborn. I didnt know it could be this easy bh!

amother

Slategray

Sun, Mar 01 2020, 10:47 pm

I was ok with ds sleeping im our room when he was 4 and 5. By six it was too much. At age 7 I started bribing. At first he was rewarded with a special activity for each night he slept in his own bed. Eventually I was able to reward him only every 3 nights then every week until we didn't need rewards any longer.
He slept so much better and was happier in general.