Would this bother you?

amother

Wed, Feb 26 2020, 5:40 pm

Without going into much details, would it bother you to have a family you don't know so well staying in your house while you are away? Staying in your house meaning in your own master bedroom and your regular rooms. A big family. I wanted to do a poll but don't know how.
Thanks ladies

amother

Copper

Wed, Feb 26 2020, 5:42 pm

I would not be comfortable with this at all.
My mother has given away her house twice (excluding her room) and both times it didn't work out that well. I may do it regardless if I felt it very important/ had to but definitely wouldn't be comfortable with it.

polka dots

Wed, Feb 26 2020, 5:43 pm

Yes of course it would be hard.
But for the right price I might consider it. Would lock up private things and take cleaning help to clean up beautifully before and after.

Or if I know it’s for a major chessed than maybe. Not just if someone wants to save on hotel or has a simcha. But a major reason why they would need it

FranticFrummie

Wed, Feb 26 2020, 5:49 pm

I couldn't do it if I wasn't there. I'll take in anyone in genuine need, but just to house swap or rent out, in my own personal space? No way.

I am extremely particular and nervous about my "stuff", and I don't even have anything that is really valuable. It just messes with my sense of security. I need to close my eyes, turn around in a circle, and be able to find whatever I need without looking. My house may be a balagan, but I know where stuff is.

Funny story - when DD was 2, she gave up her naps. Mommy still needed naps! I tried to lie down on the sofa for a bit, and she said to me "Mommy, if you go to sleep, I will TOUCH all of your stuff, and I will MOVE IT AROUND."

She was two years old, and she had already realized exactly what drives me crazy! That was the end of Mommy's nap time. LOL

Cheiny

Wed, Feb 26 2020, 5:51 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Ugh I’d never feel comfortable with that. Even with a family I do know well! My bedroom is my private space!

amother

Crimson

Wed, Feb 26 2020, 5:55 pm

I would not do it unless my sister or dad
a mice family who has lots of valubles silver etc
let peple stay at their home when they were a way as a mitzvah

amother

Bisque

Wed, Feb 26 2020, 5:55 pm

It would bother me a lot because I don’t have nice linen and fluffy towels and my closets aren’t neat so I would be embarrassed. If my walls were freshly painted and the furniture in good condition I would be nervous that something will get ruined. I had an expensive item that was meant for function but we also used it for decor (for example a lamp). Someone borrowed it and gave it back scratched and I didn’t feel comfortable asking for a new one because I hadn’t specifically said make sure it won’t get scratched. I assumed it was self understood. I got it back working perfectly but not so nice for display anymore. Some people are more easy going but not me.

amother

Crimson

Wed, Feb 26 2020, 5:56 pm

when I visit family in florida a nice woman who is away lets us stay at her apt we bring our own linnen she is away when we are their

amother

Bisque

Wed, Feb 26 2020, 5:58 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

It seems like I don't have much of a choice but I'm having a very hard time accepting it.

I’ve said no to a close friend that wanted such an arrangement for her guests. Who is pressuring you that you feel you must?

sarahmalka

Wed, Feb 26 2020, 6:00 pm

FF that's hilarious!!
OP I would not want a whole family I didn't know staying at our house without us there. I did one time offer that an older couple could stay at our place solo. (It didn't work out in the end.) But no I would not want little kids in my house without me being there. Honestly too many people let their kids run crazy and ruin stuff, I see it all the time! On the other hand finances are tight and if the $ was right then maybe yes I could be convinced. If this is a chesed thing and they aren't paying at the very least you should ask them to pay to cover a cleaning lady. What's the back story?

amother

Chartreuse

Wed, Feb 26 2020, 6:01 pm

Yes. it would bother me. I would not do it.
Only person I would do it for would be my sister and her family.
They are more careful than I am and I am a careful person.

amother

Khaki

Wed, Feb 26 2020, 6:02 pm

I might have a hard time doing it for complete strangers, but I've done it for friend's friends and relatives and don't have an issue with it. Sometimes they'll offer to pay for my cleaning lady which I find very nice Smile

amother

Babypink

Wed, Feb 26 2020, 6:35 pm

No one stays in my apartment when we're not there. Especially strangers, you have no idea what they'll do in your apartment. I've let my siblings stay in my guest room and locked up the master bedroom.
What do you mean you don't have a choice?

amother

Babyblue

Wed, Feb 26 2020, 6:40 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

It seems like I don't have much of a choice but I'm having a very hard time accepting it.

Honestly it's hard for me to think of a situation where you wouldn't have much of a choice about something big like this, unless it was your parents.
Even if someone is asking or pressuring you to give away your house, it is a huge request to make of you and totally acceptable for you to say no. Even if it's a close relative asking.
If you truly have no choice would it be possible for you to lock up the master bedroom at least?
I'm sorry you're in this situation.

amother

Babypink

Wed, Feb 26 2020, 7:03 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

I have no choice because it is for financial reasons. I wish I can just stay home.

I still don't get why you must do it but if you really really have no choice, strip all beds from linen and lock up your master bedroom. Lock up all valuables and things you don't want touched. And have them abide to certain conditions. Like they can't use your dishes, appliances, towels, or anything from your closets-whatever you wish shouldn't be touched.
And do very good research on the family.

amother

Maroon

Wed, Feb 26 2020, 7:12 pm

amother [ Babypink ] wrote:

Doesn’t always work that way. We rent apartments when we go to israel to visit family, my mother is super meticulous and we leave the place spotless, but the rental has to come with a master linen and dishes or there would be much less takers. We have also been over to ppl that were renting and they really mistreated the place. I would put away your albums valuables and private things, possibly in someone else’s apartment if possible.