Our relationship with Hashem seems abusive.

amother

Lilac

Sun, Mar 01 2020, 12:03 pm

chicco wrote:

Every single action we have has a ripple effect. Because Hashem established this world on the basis of schar vonesh (which I don't believe is reward and punishment), that means that for every action there is a calculated response. All day our actions and their effects are a communication between us and G-d. Because He gave us free will, our actions lead to certain outcomes, not necessarily reward or punishment, but basic results. For example, if I were to pour water on my skirt, I would be wet. If I were to shoot a gun, something would be shot. We don't realize how our own input affects our lives, and when it is painful, we determine that we don't deserve this, or Gd is punishing us, etc etc. But in reality, whatever we experience is Hashem communicating to us in response to what we have "told" Him. We have at every moment the ability to change what we are "saying" and expect other results. If we pay attention to our lives we can connect the dots better, and even recognize how when Hashem responds to us, He does so in a way that is full of love. In addition, those who are tuned in to this, experience painful realities with a completely different perspective.

I understand how those in tremendous pain will struggle to feel this. But I believe it is the truth.

I disagree. Everything He does is not in response. Many are just nisyonos, not because of a sin we did, it could be something to correct so,etching from a previous gilgul or other reason

marina

Sun, Mar 01 2020, 12:11 pm

To OP: The truth isn’t always good and it won’t always make you happy. Bad things happen to good people who don’t deserve them. [edited]

But being grateful is a sure way to decrease depression and improve life satisfaction. So maybe rephrase instead of “Thank You Hashem for...” pretend it’s “I’m grateful that...” Because we have to look at the positive in life if we are to stay sane.

sushilover

Sun, Mar 01 2020, 12:43 pm

One is not allowed to look at what happens to someone else and say it's all for the best. On the other hand, it is a great level to be able to look at your own problems and believe that it's the best for your particular mission in this world.

I heard a speech where the rabbi said that when it comes to someone else's problems, we are supposed to sound like an apikores. "How could that happen? What a terrible thing!"
It is only regarding our own suffering that we can attempt to find the good and trust that anything our loving Father does is for the good, even if we don't understand.

When you say that you cannot fathom any good coming from molestation, you are having the right attitude according to the Torah.

dankbar

Sun, Mar 01 2020, 12:53 pm

The few years we are here on Earth, we only get a tiny glimpse of the full picture.
Look at our history.
Shevatim had to sell Yosef, which seems terrible at the time. Pure evil. They were only the messengers. It was all part of the grand plan.
He needed to get down to mitzrayim to feed his brethren & Yidden had to get to Mitzrayim in order to go thru galus mitzrayim to be able to go further to get the Torah. In order to be ready to be mekabel the Torah, they had to go through that pain.
similar to going through labor pain to get to the birth etc.
For klal yisroel to get born as a nation, we needed to go through the labor pains first.

Same with Esther. She was captured to become wife of Acheshveirosh, seems like a terrible tragedy at the moment, but she was the messenger who saved the Yidden, at the end.

amother

Pink

Sun, Mar 01 2020, 1:08 pm

dankbar wrote:

For Esther herself it was a terrible tragedy. Possibly for Mordechai as well.

But for the people at large it was a miracle.

simba

Sun, Mar 01 2020, 2:32 pm

marina wrote:

To OP: The truth isn’t always good and it won’t always make you happy. Bad things happen to good people who don’t deserve them and yes organized religion bears some resemblance to an abusive relationship with God.

But being grateful is a sure way to decrease depression and improve life satisfaction. So maybe rephrase instead of “Thank You Hashem for...” pretend it’s “I’m grateful that...” Because we have to look at the positive in life if we are to stay sane.

I am making the assumption that you are frum because you are on this site. How do you reconcile your first paragraph?