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-> Yom Tov / Holidays
-> Purim
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amother
OP
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 Mon, Mar 02 2020, 12:18 pm
Posting this anon because I don't want to out myself with location and school.
I just got this email from my son's school. They really get it and they are helping the parents drill this point in and maybe teach us a thing or two. The point of sending MM is NOT to give to those closest to you in friendship or distance... Read this email.
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March 2, 2020
Dear Parents,
Today, we spoke with the 4th and 5th grades about the importance of mishloach manos. The purpose of this mitzvah is to be marbeh rayus, to increase friendships. Although we all want to give mishloach manos to our friends, we should think of others as well. Often, giving mishloach manos to someone who is not in our circle of friends can be more meaningful than giving to a close friend.
We introduced the “Mishloach Manos Grab Bag Program.” Each student will pick a name of a classmate from a box to whom he should give mishloach manos. The name of the classmate should not be shared with other classmates, and his mishloach manos should be delivered as any other mishloach manos would be. We also encouraged our students to think “outside of their box” when putting together their mishloach manos list and include someone they may not have thought of before. At the same time, we discussed that Purim is a hectic day and students should be understanding if friends do not have time to stop by their homes.
Your son brought home a class list today to help you with your Purim day deliveries.
A Freilichen Purim!
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studying_torah
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Mon, Mar 02 2020, 2:29 pm
Ummm lots of schools do something similar, but have the kid bring it to school. Much smarter imo bec it's not fair to give the parents yet another purim delivery. And what if ppl go away for the meal, but still need to rush to deliver this special mm?
Oh and asking kids not to discuss something, means automatically they will.
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PinkFridge
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Mon, Mar 02 2020, 2:34 pm
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I think that this can work best in an OOT community without the traffic of say, Lakewood or Brooklyn.
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amother
Puce
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Mon, Mar 02 2020, 2:56 pm
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They should make the mm anonymous
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amother
OP
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Mon, Mar 02 2020, 6:25 pm
| PinkFridge wrote: | | I think that this can work best in an OOT community without the traffic of say, Lakewood or Brooklyn. |
This is Baltimore. BH no one has the pressure pp mentioned. The talk around town is all very positive about this. I’m thrilled to see the school watching out for the underdog who may not have anyone coming to their door on Purim day. Mm in school is not at all the same as purim itself.
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PinkFridge
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Mon, Mar 02 2020, 6:36 pm
| amother [ OP ] wrote: | | This is Baltimore. BH no one has the pressure pp mentioned. The talk around town is all very positive about this. I’m thrilled to see the school watching out for the underdog who may not have anyone coming to their door on Purim day. Mm in school is not at all the same as purim itself. |
That so many parents are happy shows that this is a good idea for this school and community. Kol hakavod! If other communities can learn from this in some way, great!
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amother
Tan
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Mon, Mar 02 2020, 6:57 pm
Will also be among, as not to "out" myself, but I know this would be unpopular at the first sound, so hear me out...
I wish schools (at least in smaller communities, perhaps) would have school on Purim. No, not a real day, but maybe 2 hours. Kids hear megillah (parents/mothers can go to a reading if all kids are at school), then a MM exchange. Either limited (like secret santa type), or whatever, and kids can give to their teachers without having to juggle all the various teachers' available times. Then, they go home, deliver around the neighborhood, whatever, maybe have a learning program if it wasn't part of the school event, and go to the seudah relaxed.
Is that really crazy?
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amother
Babyblue
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Mon, Mar 02 2020, 7:03 pm
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Yes, that is crazy. Huge pressure with car pools for multiple schools (girls/boys/elem/high).. Kids are exhausted and cranky from being up late the night before. Timing megillah around school starting and ending times, esp if it is just 2 hours it's not even worth it. Most people would probably choose not to send kids. I know I wouldn't.
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amother
Smokey
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Mon, Mar 02 2020, 7:41 pm
| amother [ Tan ] wrote: | Will also be among, as not to "out" myself, but I know this would be unpopular at the first sound, so hear me out...
I wish schools (at least in smaller communities, perhaps) would have school on Purim. No, not a real day, but maybe 2 hours. Kids hear megillah (parents/mothers can go to a reading if all kids are at school), then a MM exchange. Either limited (like secret santa type), or whatever, and kids can give to their teachers without having to juggle all the various teachers' available times. Then, they go home, deliver around the neighborhood, whatever, maybe have a learning program if it wasn't part of the school event, and go to the seudah relaxed.
Is that really crazy? |
There is a program like this where I live. It's amazing. Perhaps you can start your own. You need a small hall and some flyers and a guy who is willing to direct the program. Kids can walk over themselves so there is no carpooling. Approximately ages 7-12.
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notshanarishona
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Mon, Mar 02 2020, 7:46 pm
| amother [ Tan ] wrote: | Will also be among, as not to "out" myself, but I know this would be unpopular at the first sound, so hear me out...
I wish schools (at least in smaller communities, perhaps) would have school on Purim. No, not a real day, but maybe 2 hours. Kids hear megillah (parents/mothers can go to a reading if all kids are at school), then a MM exchange. Either limited (like secret santa type), or whatever, and kids can give to their teachers without having to juggle all the various teachers' available times. Then, they go home, deliver around the neighborhood, whatever, maybe have a learning program if it wasn't part of the school event, and go to the seudah relaxed.
Is that really crazy? |
Yes - that would be crazy. Would only even be fair to consider if you had not jewish or single teachers running it .
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amother
Azure
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Mon, Mar 02 2020, 7:48 pm
| amother [ Tan ] wrote: | Will also be among, as not to "out" myself, but I know this would be unpopular at the first sound, so hear me out...
I wish schools (at least in smaller communities, perhaps) would have school on Purim. No, not a real day, but maybe 2 hours. Kids hear megillah (parents/mothers can go to a reading if all kids are at school), then a MM exchange. Either limited (like secret santa type), or whatever, and kids can give to their teachers without having to juggle all the various teachers' available times. Then, they go home, deliver around the neighborhood, whatever, maybe have a learning program if it wasn't part of the school event, and go to the seudah relaxed.
Is that really crazy? |
My friends and I have thought about this idea for a while not crazy at all I think it would be beautiful and fun too! But the school is not ready to undertake this project...
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amother
Royalblue
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Mon, Mar 02 2020, 7:50 pm
| amother [ OP ] wrote: | Posting this anon because I don't want to out myself with location and school.
I just got this email from my son's school. They really get it and they are helping the parents drill this point in and maybe teach us a thing or two. The point of sending MM is NOT to give to those closest to you in friendship or distance... Read this email.
**********************************************************
March 2, 2020
Dear Parents,
Today, we spoke with the 4th and 5th grades about the importance of mishloach manos. The purpose of this mitzvah is to be marbeh rayus, to increase friendships. Although we all want to give mishloach manos to our friends, we should think of others as well. Often, giving mishloach manos to someone who is not in our circle of friends can be more meaningful than giving to a close friend.
We introduced the “Mishloach Manos Grab Bag Program.” Each student will pick a name of a classmate from a box to whom he should give mishloach manos. The name of the classmate should not be shared with other classmates, and his mishloach manos should be delivered as any other mishloach manos would be. We also encouraged our students to think “outside of their box” when putting together their mishloach manos list and include someone they may not have thought of before. At the same time, we discussed that Purim is a hectic day and students should be understanding if friends do not have time to stop by their homes.
Your son brought home a class list today to help you with your Purim day deliveries.
A Freilichen Purim! |
Agree with you OP.. This is a wonderful thing. This is my sons' school too 
In fact, most things this elementary school does are fantastic. I am a big fan, we've had kids there for several years BH!
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amother
Tan
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Mon, Mar 02 2020, 7:57 pm
| notshanarishona wrote: | | Yes - that would be crazy. Would only even be fair to consider if you had not jewish or single teachers running it . |
One of the main points was to enable the kids to deliver to the (JEWISH) teachers. Having all of the teachers in one central location at a "central" time to ease the trying to manage all of the different schedules and parking up the teachers' streets, etc. If they deliver to their friends, too, bonus, unless that becomes too controversial, etc. (School could try to set limitations such as "all or none".)
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amother
Babyblue
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Mon, Mar 02 2020, 7:59 pm
| notshanarishona wrote: | | Yes - that would be crazy. Would only even be fair to consider if you had not jewish or single teachers running it . |
Maybe non Jewish teachers, but why would it be fair to single frum teachers? They also have Purim obligations, too. Reminds me of my newly married friend who announced that now she had a husband she wasn't going to deliver mm, and her friends (who were 90% single at the time) would need to come to her. 
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bigsis144
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Tue, Mar 03 2020, 1:04 am
OP, you’re from Baltimore? I think this initiative is also really important (and the one I expected to hear about when I opened the thread — not to put it down, but yours is a Purim secret Santa exchange, hardly a novel concept):
| Quote: | Purim is a wonderful holiday full of fun and excitement and the getting and giving of goodies. However, Purim is also a time when some people feel extra sadness. This includes children who, for whatever reason, are no longer – or never were – in a frum school. Last year, nearly 50 frum Baltimore kids in public school almost didn’t receive shalach manos.
But, thank G-d – and thanks to you – they did!
Simcha’s Purim is a local initiative of parents of frum kids in public school who daven that our children feel the happiness of Purim and the sweetness of our Torah. It was created l’ilui nishmas my father, a”h, whose name was Simcha ben Yaakov.
Simcha’s Purim is not meant to be a chesed project but, rather, just a friendly gesture to great children who may be unknown or forgotten simply by virtue of not being in a mainstream school. Since our volunteers know them, and you may not, we will be your messengers to deliver your shalach manos to kids who will appreciate them. |
As the mom of a frum kid in public school, this means SO much to me (and I don’t even live in Baltimore). My seven year old has a couple of frum friends in our community to give to BH (and I try to focus on the giving on MM rather than the receiving) but his “reciprocal” MM are far far fewer than what his brother in a frum school gets. If anyone can participate in this program, tizku l’mitzvos!!!
https://wherewhatwhen.com/arti.....ldren
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amother
OP
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Tue, Mar 03 2020, 5:03 am
| studying_torah wrote: | Ummm lots of schools do something similar, but have the kid bring it to school. Much smarter imo bec it's not fair to give the parents yet another purim delivery. And what if ppl go away for the meal, but still need to rush to deliver this special mm?
Oh and asking kids not to discuss something, means automatically they will. |
I was thinking about this post all night. I think you are missing the point. There is no reason to make this "yet another purim delivery". This is an important one. Take one of your closest friends off the list and include this child. People forget what mishloach manos is about and this is a wonderful reminder. And no, telling the kids not to reveal who they picked from the grab bag does not in anyway mean they automatically will. I think your comment made me even more proud to be part of my community than I already was. Bringing MM to school not on Purim defeats the purpose of this practice. The idea is to branch out on purim itself and think of someone who you may not have thought of. Bring goodwill and extend friendship. That is the point of mm.
ETA - I went to the link bigsis144 posted below and wanted to pull out the last paragraph.
In last year’s outpouring of support, we also became aware of kids in the frum schools who didn’t get a single shalach manos. How can that happen? What can we do?
Here are a few ideas of how each one of us can make a difference:
If you are a teacher, you know who may be overlooked by the students and their
parents. Perhaps the kid is not very social or lives with mom or lives further away. Or perhaps the child is super-popular so that everyone erroneously thinks he/she doesn’t need a shalach manos from them. Find creative ways to encourage the kids and their parents to give to someone outside their typical group.
If you are a parent, go over a class list. Discuss with your kid to whom they plan to give and – more importantly – to whom they don’t plan to give, and why. (You’ll learn a lot about your child’s class dynamics this way.) Maybe choose one classmate from the previously overlooked ones and give them a shalach manos.
All of us know awesome people who have fallen off our social grid: the neighbor, the single dad, the young woman, our co-worker, the family that stopped
going to shul. Choose one extra person and bring him or her a shalach manos and maybe even invite them to your Purim seuda!
What happened to us, as a community, that there are kids who get not one thing on Purim? Because why, the parents don't want to extend themselves to make that one extra stop? I am the mother of my kids and as such I know its my job to have each of my kids add one classmate who they would not have thought to add to their list. But this is bringing another point home, and I think this is what my kid's school is working on. A "secret santa" exchange may not be a novel concept like bigsis pointed out. Yet we know that there are kids in all of our schools who don't get a single mm on Purim day. Do you think a purim exchange in school will take away that pain the child feels? I don't.
As a community, with all of our many beautiful packages, themes, personalized ribbons, color schemes, poems... then the rushing to the seuda (also themed, color schemed, etc), we are TRULY missing the boat if we don't make sure to think of others on Purim day.
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amother
OP
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Tue, Mar 03 2020, 5:05 am
| bigsis144 wrote: | OP, you’re from Baltimore? I think this initiative is also really important (and the one I expected to hear about when I opened the thread — not to put it down, but yours is a Purim secret Santa exchange, hardly a novel concept):
| Quote: | Purim is a wonderful holiday full of fun and excitement and the getting and giving of goodies. However, Purim is also a time when some people feel extra sadness. This includes children who, for whatever reason, are no longer – or never were – in a frum school. Last year, nearly 50 frum Baltimore kids in public school almost didn’t receive shalach manos.
But, thank G-d – and thanks to you – they did!
Simcha’s Purim is a local initiative of parents of frum kids in public school who daven that our children feel the happiness of Purim and the sweetness of our Torah. It was created l’ilui nishmas my father, a”h, whose name was Simcha ben Yaakov.
Simcha’s Purim is not meant to be a chesed project but, rather, just a friendly gesture to great children who may be unknown or forgotten simply by virtue of not being in a mainstream school. Since our volunteers know them, and you may not, we will be your messengers to deliver your shalach manos to kids who will appreciate them. |
As the mom of a frum kid in public school, this means SO much to me (and I don’t even live in Baltimore). My seven year old has a couple of frum friends in our community to give to BH (and I try to focus on the giving on MM rather than the receiving) but his “reciprocal” MM are far far fewer than what his brother in a frum school gets. If anyone can participate in this program, tizku l’mitzvos!!!
https://wherewhatwhen.com/arti.....ldren |
You are 100% right. Simcha's Purim is beautiful. Thank you for this. (Yes, I'm in Baltimore)
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southernbubby
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Tue, Mar 03 2020, 5:40 am
| amother [ Tan ] wrote: | Will also be among, as not to "out" myself, but I know this would be unpopular at the first sound, so hear me out...
I wish schools (at least in smaller communities, perhaps) would have school on Purim. No, not a real day, but maybe 2 hours. Kids hear megillah (parents/mothers can go to a reading if all kids are at school), then a MM exchange. Either limited (like secret santa type), or whatever, and kids can give to their teachers without having to juggle all the various teachers' available times. Then, they go home, deliver around the neighborhood, whatever, maybe have a learning program if it wasn't part of the school event, and go to the seudah relaxed.
Is that really crazy? |
One set of grandchildren has school on Purim. There is a megillah reading that the parents are invited to attend and then MM is exchanged. They go home before lunch.
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amother
Jade
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Tue, Mar 03 2020, 5:52 am
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We also got the email from the school and we were so impressed. My son actually seemed excited about it--and he's a well liked kid with a lot of friends.
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amother
Hotpink
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Tue, Mar 03 2020, 6:00 am
| amother [ Tan ] wrote: | Will also be among, as not to "out" myself, but I know this would be unpopular at the first sound, so hear me out...
I wish schools (at least in smaller communities, perhaps) would have school on Purim. No, not a real day, but maybe 2 hours. Kids hear megillah (parents/mothers can go to a reading if all kids are at school), then a MM exchange. Either limited (like secret santa type), or whatever, and kids can give to their teachers without having to juggle all the various teachers' available times. Then, they go home, deliver around the neighborhood, whatever, maybe have a learning program if it wasn't part of the school event, and go to the seudah relaxed.
Is that really crazy? |
We had this when I was growing up in Detroit. We had school in a local shul,davened, heard megila, exchanged shalach manos, gave tzedaka, showed off our costume, and went home. Anyone here remember that?
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