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Forum
-> Parenting our children
-> School age children
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amother
OP
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 Thu, Mar 05 2020, 2:20 pm
Imagine you have twin daughters, 6th graders. Let's call them Rochel and Leah. They come home from school one day and Leah tells you that Rochel has a friend in school that hates her and is mean to her. Leah tells her sister Rochel that it's not nice that she is friends with a girl who hates her and is being mean to her. Rochel says, "Well she's nice to me so I don't care."
Do you as the mother get involved at all? Say anything?
I told "Rochel" that I'm disappointed she doesn't stick up for her sister. That friends come and go, but sisters are forever. And that someone who does that to another girl will likely turn on her and be mean to her too when it suits her. I told "Leah" that girls who are mean like that are insecure and she should try very hard not to let it get to her. She really isn't bothered by what the girl says. It's her feeling that her sister is betraying her that hurts.
Do I butt out at this point?
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amother
Goldenrod
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Thu, Mar 05 2020, 2:23 pm
You did all you can.
If the other kid is so mean, Sister B will eventually see that herself and decide if she wants to be friends with such a person.
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Chayalle
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Thu, Mar 05 2020, 2:28 pm
Yes, you butt out at this point.
Rochel has a right to choose whatever friends suit her. She also should stick up for her sister Leah, and any other target of any bullying that goes on in her surroundings.
I would also address any obvious issues in Leah that may be setting her up as the target of bullying.
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Iymnok
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Thu, Mar 05 2020, 3:02 pm
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Bear in mind that as twins there may be some jealousy or competition at play. At this age they really should be learning how to play the social game.
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