Anybody horrified with mishpachas short serial re. moving

amother

Mon, Mar 09 2020, 7:08 am

Mishpacha is running a short serial about a family libving in an ideal setting- lovely community, great school's, perfect home. overral ideal quality of life. but the husband was starting to feel unfullfilled with his job so the family decides to uproot and move. The wife is having a very hard time but goes along with it while continuesly seeing the good hashem is bestowing on their family as an idication of his support of this plan.
I have been reading this story with growing horror but also some patience hoping there will some point to the story other than- support your husband at all cost, even if it means uprooting many neshamos from a great place because thats what hashem is proud of, proof of this being every bonus received during this time....
But this week - chapter 6 out of 8 I am really troubled.
The wife lets the husband take the one car they have at all time contrary to the prior agreement(made before the move) that she would get the car at all times since they are now in a new city, far from stores and friends and the burden of driving the kids everywhere is on her.
HEEELOOO???!!!! I really hope the next two chapters are all about how the wife wakes up and smells the coffee. Maybe comes on imamother and has everybody telling her to go to therapy Punch

am I the only one horrified??

amother

Oak

Mon, Mar 09 2020, 8:11 am

Well most likely the writer looks around her community for ideas. Probably right here on imamother. This story doesn't come out of s vacuum. She wants her story to be relatable. The good thing is, I'm sure there will be some kind of resolution, growth, or realization on the part of the protagonist. I'm sure rabbinical guidance will be involved (as there usually is in frum lit). So, if someone is dealing with this in real life it may help them learn how to deal or realize they need change/help. Instead of ending up writing about their miserable lives and marriages here on imamother.
So, rather than sending the wrong message, it can be a tool for people who are dealing with this in real life.
Actually I commend the magazine for being willing to publish it, and not stick to only trite feel good 1950s sort of stories.
But if you feel that strongly feel free to write to them or cancel your subscription. Nobody is forcing you to read it.

amother

Beige

Mon, Mar 09 2020, 8:31 am

amother [ Oak ] wrote:

Are you on the Mishpacha PR team? Your post makes a bunch of wild guesses about the magazine's intention and then praises them for "be(ing) a tool for people who are dealing with this in real life." and "not stick(ing) to only trite feel good 1950s sort of stories." How do you know that that's how the story will end? Maybe the author believes she's a true aishes chayil and that's the point?

PinkFridge

Mon, Mar 09 2020, 8:44 am

amother [ Oak ] wrote:

Well most likely the writer looks around her community for ideas. Probably right here on imamother.

Do you mean the writer or the editor? I don't believe this is fiction. Unless you mean, she's thinking, what part of her life to share in a series?

rae

Mon, Mar 09 2020, 8:45 am

I’m having a problem because we don’t live in a world where HaShem gives immediate rewards. Oh, I made a good sacrifice so therefore, I’m going to win the Chinese auction, my daughter is going to get into the top seminary she wanted...... The reality is HaShem wants us to do the next right thing and we usually don’t see the benefits right away. We are supposed to work in our emunah but this feels a little unrealistic. Like hey, I’m going to give away my last dollar in my savings account and I saw Yad HaShem and won the lottery.....

watergirl

Mon, Mar 09 2020, 9:02 am

Horrified? By a story that's not not half way finished and lacking real character development? This is a weekly serial, not a book where you can skip to the end or something you can ask others who have read it if it will turn out in a way that is acceptable to you.

Is this the newish Dov Haller story?

amother

Chartreuse

Mon, Mar 09 2020, 9:54 am

watergirl wrote:

It actually is more than halfway finished and it's not the new Dov Haller story. It's the family diary. It's going to finish next week.

amother

Hotpink

Mon, Mar 09 2020, 11:11 am

I can't say I was horrified. But I thought she came across as a simpering idiot who thought she had to bow to her husband's wishes and that was the will of G-d.

I also think the way that she thinks g-d is rewarding her is weird. I don't think G-d runs the world in a tit for tat way.

But maybe it is a story about how one woman is using the power of faith to remain positive about a self-centered husband and the pain that comes with it. I don't know. I have a problem with a lot of these emunah stories that say See! I did XYZ and then I got ABC. Much as I wish, G-d was never my slot machine

amother

Mon, Mar 09 2020, 11:18 am

amother [ Hotpink ] wrote:

But maybe it is a story about how one woman is using the power of faith to remain positive about a self-centered husband and the pain that comes with it. I don't know. I have a problem with a lot of these emunah stories that say See! I did XYZ and then I got ABC. Much as I wish, G-d was never my slot machine

It would be such a story if it were such a story. But its not.
Not once was there any indication of anything being 'wrong' with the husband. No mention of bad middos or the affect this decision has on any of the kids. Only a woman who has to work on herself to no end in order to be a good supportive wife

amother

Copper

Mon, Mar 09 2020, 11:20 am

Somehow if it were the husband sacrificing for his wife, the story feels sweet and wonderful.
Imagine this
"We lived in a beautiful community but my wife just wasn't happy. She was offered her dream job in a new community. I decided that her happiness was the most important thing for me, so I would do whatever it takes to make it work.
The move was difficult for me and sometimes I felt overwhelmed, but I truly believe that this is what Hashem wants from me right now.
We had agreed that the car would be "mine" and I started feeling resentment whenever she needed the car to get to work. I decided to tell her to feel free to use the car as often as she needed it. It wasn't easy, but I know it meant the world to her. Later that week, our contractor gave me an expensive gift because his mother knows my wife and respects her immensely. I felt like that gift was a hug from Hashem during a difficult time. "

amother

Hotpink

Mon, Mar 09 2020, 11:24 am

Oh.
I think there is something wrong with a man who insists on uprooting his wife and children because he is feeling unfulfilled and wants to try something new but has very little by way of guarantee that he will LOVE his next position and then reneges on what they agreed upon without expressing remorse or offering to re-work the deal. I think it was implied in the story that the guy is kind of a jerk. Or certainly that's what I inferred.

amother

Turquoise

Mon, Mar 09 2020, 11:26 am

amother [ Copper ] wrote:

It feels sweet because... it would never happen.

Husband is happy with shul, community, school, lovely house that he owns, and wife just isn't so content... and they move?

Umm, yeah it's sweet because it only happens in story books.

In real life, the wife would just make do and learn to like the place and if she'd express a desire to move, she'd be told "but your husband and kids are so happy here! You have everything you need! Why in the world should you move? What makes you think you'll like that place better over this one?"

This is what would happen.