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amother




Vermilion
 

Post  Wed, Mar 11 2020, 9:16 pm
amother [ Bronze ] wrote:
haha. I didn't make this approach up. Its based on DBT and The Work from Byron Katie https://thework.com/

if it doesn't speak to you leave it. but it can be liberating for many people.


OP doesn't have an emotional problem and she doesn't need therapy. So your post is not relevant.
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amother




Bronze
 

Post  Wed, Mar 11 2020, 9:19 pm
amother [ Vermilion ] wrote:
OP doesn't have an emotional problem and she doesn't need therapy. So your post is not relevant.


I never said she had emotional problems, I said she had emotions, as all humans do.

We do not all need therapy and I have no reason to think she does. I said that one therapist comment thinking IF she was in therapy already, go for it. The point was to process her emotions for yourself instead of letting them drive negative cycles of worry or grief or unproductive behavior.
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gold2




 
 
 
 

Post  Thu, Mar 12 2020, 4:11 am
If I was the MIL and my kids didn't want to come to me on Purim I would be hurt. But I would ask when I could go to them.

HOWEVER none of this makes any difference b/c in one of your previous posts, you mentioned that DIL would be willing to drop everything and give you a meal. I think that's beautiful. I can't say I would offer my MIL a meal whenever she would decide to drop by although I would welcome her in.

What is the problem? I'm trying to understand. And yes if my parents lived in town I would prioritize them before others.
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amother




Crimson
 

Post  Thu, Mar 12 2020, 5:46 am
gold2 wrote:
If I was the MIL and my kids didn't want to come to me on Purim I would be hurt. But I would ask when I could go to them.

HOWEVER none of this makes any difference b/c in one of your previous posts, you mentioned that DIL would be willing to drop everything and give you a meal. I think that's beautiful. I can't say I would offer my MIL a meal whenever she would decide to drop by although I would welcome her in.

What is the problem? I'm trying to understand. And yes if my parents lived in town I would prioritize them before others.


In a similar vein to your post, I was actually thinking about this thread and it suddenly came to me from a different angle. If your DIL wanted you to arrange a time when you would come over and she would then serve you a meal when you arrive, perhaps she likes hosting you and was insulted that you didn't want to come to them? Hosting is also a form of kibbud av. Standing on principles that things have to be done a certain way just hurts everyone and is good for no one.
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