7 year old dd doesn't wipe

amother

Tue, Mar 10 2020, 6:21 pm

My 7 year old dd doesn't wipe after bowel movements. I taught her how to several times, provide baby wipes at home to make it easier, used charts and rewards etc. She claims she is lazy. I feel like dirty panties and a bad odor don't bother her enough to take that extra minute to wipe properly. I feel like I tried everything already. Ideas?

FranticFrummie

Tue, Mar 10 2020, 6:26 pm

You don't have any control over what she does at school, but you can be on top of her at home. Every time she goes to the bathroom, stand there and make sure she uses a flushable wipe. Every single time, without exception. With any luck, it will become a habit.

You can also put her in charge of hand washing her underwear in the bathroom sink.

amother

Tue, Mar 10 2020, 6:49 pm

FranticFrummie wrote:

I told her she will need to call me every time she finishes so that I can check her. It lasts few days until we both forget.

I also had her wash her dirty panty by hand. She hated it and cried. We spoke and she promised never to skip wiping again. Two days later back to old ways.

Elfrida

Wed, Mar 11 2020, 7:53 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

I also had her wash her dirty panty by hand. She hated it and cried. We spoke and she promised never to skip wiping again. Two days later back to old ways.

So.make her do the laundry by hand again.

FranticFrummie

Wed, Mar 11 2020, 8:02 am

Quit giving up so easily, and stay consistent! If you don't care to keep on top of her, why should she?

A 7yo should not be crying because she has to wash her own clothes that got dirty because she was too lazy to do basic hygiene.

My DD went through the same phase, so I'm not just sitting here judging you.

Goldie613

Wed, Mar 11 2020, 8:53 am

Does she mind wiping her front (when she urinates)? Could it be she's irritated there (front or back private areas) and that's why she doesn't want to do it? Could it be sensory based?

How would you feel about her using one of those little squirt bottles at home to clean herself, if she's willing to try that? Sorry, I don't recall what the exact name of it is, but they used to give them out in hospitals to women when they gave birth. The closest I found online is this = https://www.amazon.com/iBzera-.....N337T

Try to get her to give you another reason why she's not doing it. Tell her if you know the reason you can help her better and they"ll be less upset times between the two of you.

Assuming that there's no medical reason, how about a star chart for a reward she likes? It could be for wiping, or for a combination of wiping/willingness to clean her underwear if she forgets.

(BTW, if you have a washing machine at home maybe you can teach her to use that so that her underwear gets washed without her having to handle soiled items directly.)

amother

Wed, Mar 11 2020, 10:01 am

She was crying because she was disgusted from doing her own hand washing. When I had a four week chart she did great because she was motivated but afterwards went right back to old behavior.

I guess I need to be more on top of her but I'm tired of this and wondering why I need to do this for a 7.5 year old..... Thought maybe there's additional ideas.

She says there is no pain and told me quite frankly that she thinks she can get away with it.

amother

Chartreuse

Wed, Mar 11 2020, 10:08 am

Had this with my dd. She is 12. It stopped at 11.She was just too lazy to wipe. I was at my wits end. She wanted to go to sleep away camp and I said no way not until you get your personal hygiene under control. She wanted it that badly things vastly improved. No issues anymore. Its been half a year. Hope it continues to be good.

mha3484

Wed, Mar 11 2020, 10:11 am

I think some kids are late bloomers when it comes to caring about hygiene. I have a 9 year old who I feel like is finally starting get it on his own. He doesnt love showering but he fights me a lot less then he used to. He totally wipes himself but I think it took him longer to prioritize it. I had to really readjust my expectations for him.

We have had some very blunt conversations about hygiene issues. I had to lay it out for him that if you dont wipe throughly, if you dont shower you will smell kids wont want to sit next to you and people wont want to be your friend. It sounds really mean and I sent it gently but some kids wont inuit these things on their own. They need it to be taught more explicitly.