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Forum -> Yom Tov / Holidays -> Purim
What are people thinking??????
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Flip Flops




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Mar 11 2020, 7:33 pm
I get really upset about such topics, so I apologize if my post comes across in a bad way, just can't help it.
WHY DO PEOPLE GET SO CONCERNED ABOUT V'AHAVTA L'RAIACHA KAMOCHA AND YET NOBODY CARES TO DEFEND HASHEM'S KAVOD WHEN THERE IS A CLEAR BREACH IN MODESTY?
Pinchos saw actions that were a clear breach of morality and instead of standing by and saying,"oy, I don't want to make them feel bad..." he stood up and TOOK ACTION. And guess what? He is praised and rewarded by Hashem.
We live in a generation where nobody cares anymore to stand up for halacha. For kedusha. To say when something is wrong.
Immodest dress on Purim is terrible. Showing off a pregnant belly in such a manner is clear immodesty. Not cute, not funny. It doesn't matter how many people do it, it is wrong. Op, I get you 100%. Not saying you should hurt or offend the women who is dressed up, but it should HURT YOU. It should bother you.
Not because she is a bad person, or is doing anything wrong on her level. She many not be aware, she may not come from the same background as you, etc. etc. (I have a big speech on the concept of not judging others, but that's for a different time.) But it should bother you.
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dancingqueen




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Mar 11 2020, 7:38 pm
amother [ Mauve ] wrote:
I live in KJ and I am from the most extreme families.

I did not take what you said personal. Its just that you cant back up what you said.

When someone says something that is not true it is usually to bash or to shame hence the posters questioning your motives.


There have been several threads where Chassidish posters described their hashkafah of not telling their kids about pregnancy in general, or that they are pregnant and just surprising them with a new sibling. Is that not a thing?
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SuperWify




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Mar 11 2020, 7:44 pm
Kiwi13 wrote:
I wouldn’t have made that connection. I think it’s just cute because of the shape. :-)


Neither would I have... if I haven’t read that post.
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amother
OP


 

Post Wed, Mar 11 2020, 7:47 pm
dancingqueen wrote:
There have been several threads where Chassidish posters described their hashkafah of not telling their kids about pregnancy in general, or that they are pregnant and just surprising them with a new sibling. Is that not a thing?


It's not really a thing anymore. While most don't actually talk about it, they do tell their kids that they'll be getting a new sibling. People are telling their kids more and more these days.
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lilies




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Mar 11 2020, 7:47 pm
Flip Flops wrote:
I get really upset about such topics, so I apologize if my post comes across in a bad way, just can't help it.
WHY DO PEOPLE GET SO CONCERNED ABOUT V'AHAVTA L'RAIACHA KAMOCHA AND YET NOBODY CARES TO DEFEND HASHEM'S KAVOD WHEN THERE IS A CLEAR BREACH IN MODESTY?


Some people define modesty differently. If this isn't considered being immodest then v'ahavta l'raiacha takes priority.
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amother
Mauve


 

Post Wed, Mar 11 2020, 7:48 pm
Metukah wrote:
I'm chassidish and always defend chassidus to the sky (check out my posting history), but I think you are grossly exaggerating. 1. Amothers post does not seem to be bashing. 2. It is not generally acceptable in the chassidish world, to discuss pregnancy with children etc... So it would not make sense or be considered acceptable at all to dress up in a way that directly references a pregnant belly. These days we discuss our pregnancies in public and with everyone, but my mother is only just getting used to the idea. Not so many years ago it was hidden and barely mentioned. My children learn in a BY type school, mainly, but not exclusively chassidish, and it is frowned upon to discuss pregnancy with children. It has been told to us on more than one occasion. That is why, when we tell our children about upcoming births we tell them it is a secret only for our family. You say you are from an extreme kj family, I'm not from a very chassidish family, never mind extreme, so I won't believe you if you tell me that it is okay to discuss pregnancy with children.
OP sorry for derailing.


You are right about that but to quote that amother;

I don't see why it's untznius to draw attention to a pregnant belly. It's obvious you're pregnant.

The only people I've seen have an issue with this are those within chassidish communities where pregnancy itself is not spoken about
.



The way I understood this was that;

A. Only chassidish people have an issue with drawing attention to a pregnant belly.

B. Pregnancy is not spoken about.
(She does not mention anything about not speaking to children about it.)


As far as I know both are not true.

A. Its not only chassidish people that have an issue with it.

B. The reason it is an issue is not because the pregnancy is a secret but for the same reason you wouldnt show any other part of a figure.
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dancingqueen




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Mar 11 2020, 7:48 pm
Ok seriously, what’s so immodest about a pregnant belly? Don’t most people wear shirts that are fitted against their stomachs in general? And a pregnant belly isn’t usually considered provocative.
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dancingqueen




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Mar 11 2020, 7:50 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
It's not really a thing anymore. While most don't actually talk about it, they do tell their kids that they'll be getting a new sibling. People are telling their kids more and more these days.


And they explain that the baby is in their belly etc?
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mamma llama




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Mar 11 2020, 7:51 pm
Flip Flops wrote:
I get really upset about such topics, so I apologize if my post comes across in a bad way, just can't help it.
WHY DO PEOPLE GET SO CONCERNED ABOUT V'AHAVTA L'RAIACHA KAMOCHA AND YET NOBODY CARES TO DEFEND HASHEM'S KAVOD WHEN THERE IS A CLEAR BREACH IN MODESTY?
Pinchos saw actions that were a clear breach of morality and instead of standing by and saying,"oy, I don't want to make them feel bad..." he stood up and TOOK ACTION. And guess what? He is praised and rewarded by Hashem.
We live in a generation where nobody cares anymore to stand up for halacha. For kedusha. To say when something is wrong.
Immodest dress on Purim is terrible. Showing off a pregnant belly in such a manner is clear immodesty. Not cute, not funny. It doesn't matter how many people do it, it is wrong. Op, I get you 100%. Not saying you should hurt or offend the women who is dressed up, but it should HURT YOU. It should bother you.
Not because she is a bad person, or is doing anything wrong on her level. She many not be aware, she may not come from the same background as you, etc. etc. (I have a big speech on the concept of not judging others, but that's for a different time.) But it should bother you.


This. 100% with you Flip Flops! Thumbs Up

And FF, regarding men dressing up as women, my dh knows a guy who is so happy when Purim comes around because he says it's the 1 day he can get away with wearing a skirt in public... I have other thoughts Speechless
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lilies




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Mar 11 2020, 7:54 pm
dancingqueen wrote:
Ok seriously, what’s so immodest about a pregnant belly? Don’t most people wear shirts that are fitted against their stomachs in general? And a pregnant belly isn’t usually considered provocative.


No.
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amother
Pink


 

Post Wed, Mar 11 2020, 8:01 pm
amother [ Ruby ] wrote:
Ew. Hate this idea. Should a nursing mother dress up as a milking cow? Or should I dress up as a toilet as I may just use one on purim?

Honestly this is hysterical I totally should have dressed as a cow 😂😅 that's what my family sees me as my baby could have been a cow also .
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mamma llama




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Mar 11 2020, 8:02 pm
dancingqueen wrote:
Ok seriously, what’s so immodest about a pregnant belly? Don’t most people wear shirts that are fitted against their stomachs in general? And a pregnant belly isn’t usually considered provocative.


In general, anything can be considered provocative... Being pregnant is not a hall pass to draw attention to our bodies. Everyone on our own level needs to take the same care as we would otherwise.
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amother
OP


 

Post Wed, Mar 11 2020, 8:45 pm
dancingqueen wrote:
And they explain that the baby is in their belly etc?


Some do some don't. Today's days kids anyways hear everything in school, so we try to be ahead.
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Flip Flops




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Mar 11 2020, 9:13 pm
dancingqueen wrote:
Ok seriously, what’s so immodest about a pregnant belly? Don’t most people wear shirts that are fitted against their stomachs in general? And a pregnant belly isn’t usually considered provocative.


Wearing a very tight fitted garment over one's torso is assur. Nothing is immodest about a pregnant belly, or any body part for that matter. It is when a garment is super tight and revealing that it becomes immodest.
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amother
Beige


 

Post Thu, Mar 12 2020, 12:16 am
amother [ Aubergine ] wrote:
Exactly. It’s a lack of tznius imo.
Adult men dressing as women is just gross.


Just immaturity
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TravelHearter




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Mar 12 2020, 12:20 am
DrMom wrote:
Many frum women wear tight stockings which perfectly expose the shape of their legs, whereas loose pants (which many deem untznua) would not.

Just sayin'.

Legs aren’t d’oraisa or d’rabanan. They are minhag hamakom which nowadays is Halacha to cover (I’m not judging people who don’t, ask your LOR, this is what I learnt) so tights are more lenient as far as I know
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amother
Magenta


 

Post Thu, Mar 12 2020, 1:04 am
Flip Flops wrote:

WHY DO PEOPLE GET SO CONCERNED ABOUT V'AHAVTA L'RAIACHA KAMOCHA AND YET NOBODY CARES TO DEFEND HASHEM'S KAVOD WHEN THERE IS A CLEAR BREACH IN MODESTY?

Who's "nobody"? What's OP, chopped liver?
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amother
Natural


 

Post Thu, Mar 12 2020, 1:07 am
amother [ Magenta ] wrote:
Who's "nobody"? What's OP, chopped liver?


When someone says "nobody", it is just a generalization... Rolling Eyes I hope OP wasn't offended by that comment!
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amother
Magenta


 

Post Thu, Mar 12 2020, 1:16 am
But also, the answer is that yes, yenem's gashmius iz dein ruchnius, so you should try to promote the well being of others more than you try to preach to them.
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amother
Cerise


 

Post Thu, Mar 12 2020, 1:52 am
I have a chassidish neighbor that came to shul in a very, very tight skirt and top and she had a big animal headband with ears and pom pom tail on her (very large) rear end. It wiggled as she waddled out of shul in her skin tight outfit.
Now this women is about 40 and she wore this to shul for megillah. It struck me so odd that a women this age chooses to dress up like a kid, and attract attention. Its says a lot what you wear on purim, and what you want to be.

Btw im chassidish here and I do homebirth. My kids know exactly when Im due, I share sono pics, and whatever they ask, gets answers... so yeah, we talk alot about it with my children. It is not a secret or taboo by us.
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