Whispers of my heart

amother

Sun, Mar 15 2020, 1:38 pm

What does Hashem want from me? What do You want me to do/ think/ daven for/ say to my kids/ family? How do You want me to feel?

I'll share with You; I feel like a baby that has no voice, choice, opinion, strength or ability. I feel like I'm stuck, not knowing what tomorrow will bring or even the next 5 minutes. All my carefully laid plans: health, financial, social, Pesach, travel have been turned upside down and mixed up. Now what? Why?

Actually dear Tatte in heaven, in a funny way it feels good. I'm not alone. I''m not lost. You are holding me tightly, You are not letting me fall into the abyss. You care about me and love me more than I could ever imagine. You see me and feel my fear and my lack of control. You haven't lost control; You are doing exactly what You want for my good, for my everlasting good, for the good of all Jews and of the whole world. This shake up is bringing me back to You. I can't pretend to have it all figured out and under control anymore. I can't have the false faith of "כחי ועוצם ידי" anymore. Game's over! It's not over - it's just starting with new rules and a new, loving, and close relationship with You dear Hashem.
Thank You for taking care of me and of all your precious children; may we feel Your closeness and love, may we thank You and rely and turn to You, only You with the knowledge and the deep feeling that only You can help us in every single area of our lives, in all of our needs and desires, in everything; like Dovid Hamelech says in Tehilim, "Tov Hashem LaKOL" You, dear Hashem, are good for EVERYTHING!!

Please bring a complete refuah to all Yidden, may we all be healthy and strong to do Your will and to do all Your mitzvos with joy, including (especially) Pesach. I want to DANCE and hold hands with my sisters and greet Moshiach! Please make Adar a gigantic "ונהפוך הוא" and bring Moshiach soon!

Love, Your daughter