Is Pesach cleaning a women's job?

amother

Tue, Mar 17 2020, 10:17 am

All the magazines seem to assume so. The Pesach cleaning articles are in the women's magazine, and if a man does any Pesach cleaning work, he is "helping his wife". But what makes Pesach cleaning, which is an extension of Bedikas Chometz, a women's job?

amother

Khaki

Tue, Mar 17 2020, 10:19 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Awesome question. I like this. Can't wait to hear the responses.

amother

Yellow

Tue, Mar 17 2020, 10:24 am

In most households the man spend more hours away from home (davening, learning, working) and the woman spends more hours in the home. Hence she is more likely to be involved in all household tasks, such as cleaning, cooking and child care. Obviously each family needs to do what works for them.

small bean

Tue, Mar 17 2020, 10:25 am

I don't think it is. I think in many homes it falls on the women to do the deep cleaning, for cultural reasons.

I rely on my husbands bedikas chometz. I clean my house because I want it done my way (years that I couldn't, my husband did it). And then he does a thorough real bedikas chometz and he finds stuff in the couch that I missed in a kids drawer that I probably cleaned and kid put after etc. The getting rid of chometz is on him. I don't feel any pressure for perfection.

amother

Oak

Tue, Mar 17 2020, 10:47 am

small bean wrote:

You are just as obligated as he is not to have chametz in your house.

That said, of course there's no reason that pesach cleaning belongs to women.

bisbettertheni

Tue, Mar 17 2020, 10:48 am

I am not cleaning for pesach this year. I will have the cleaning lady clean the couches and chairs but not touching the rooms. Whatever chometz is around (not much we are a small family) my husband will find in bedikas chometz.

small bean

Tue, Mar 17 2020, 11:35 am

amother [ Oak ] wrote:

You are just as obligated as he is not to have chametz in your house.

That said, of course there's no reason that pesach cleaning belongs to women.

As he does bedikas chometz it is on him. If I did it then it would be on me.

amother

Papaya

Tue, Mar 17 2020, 12:57 pm

I work far more hours out of the house than dh. While I sometimes wish he would work and earn more, at least towards Pesach he steps up to the plate every year and deep cleans, kashers and switches our entire kitchen. I don't even know myself where all the Pesach stuff is stored What

(But most of the rest of the house is still on me).

Genius

Tue, Mar 17 2020, 1:14 pm

Women are better at this type of thing. Please don't shoot me for saying this. Men have these weird ideas how they get it done. I sure enlist DH help but I like to be in charge of it

rgh

Tue, Mar 17 2020, 1:15 pm

genius wrote:

Women are better at this type of thing. Please don't shoot me for saying this. Men have these weird ideas how they get it done. I sure enlist DH help but I like to be in charge of it

Just wanted to say I love your avatar! How did you do it?

shmosmom

Tue, Mar 17 2020, 1:17 pm

The first year we were married I told DH for every hour he spends pesach cleaning I'll do the same. Came bedikos chometz night and none of us had started. He wanted to visit his cousins who were here from out of town so we did that. At around 11:30 PM we went straight from his cousin's to our Rav's house, we signed paperwork selling the chometz. Then we came home, swept the kitchen n dining room, covered the whiskey with a big tablecloth in one closet, threw all our pasta and barley in there too. Went thru fridge and freezer and threw out some wraps and whatever. Wallah- pesach is here. We're married quite a couple of years more than that now, still follow the same pattern. Don't recommend it tho, we found a hidden mishloach manos package under my kid's stack of prizes.
It's all about balance. This year we'll probably start a few hours earlier so we can do the rooms a little better.

amother

Forestgreen

Tue, Mar 17 2020, 1:18 pm

genius wrote:

Women are better at this type of thing. Please don't shoot me for saying this. Men have these weird ideas how they get it done. I sure enlist DH help but I like to be in charge of it

I agree with this. Im picturing the scene of asking dh to go thru the kids drawers (I know this is spring cleaning) and to donate things they no longer wear and it throw out damaged things and then wipe out the drawer, fold and put back things we are keeping. Dh had a PhD and he couldn't accomplish a task like that...

Genius

Tue, Mar 17 2020, 1:18 pm

rgh wrote:

Just wanted to say I love your avatar! How did you do it?

Thanks! There is a thread "you should have a unique profile picture" https://www.imamother.com/foru.....85580

icedcoffee

Tue, Mar 17 2020, 2:12 pm

In my household, no way. We both work full-time jobs and we're both people who live in the apartment equally, so neither of us have any more responsibility than the other person: we do it fully together. Same with the sukkah!

mamma llama

Tue, Mar 17 2020, 2:45 pm

genius wrote:

Women are better at this type of thing. Please don't shoot me for saying this. Men have these weird ideas how they get it done. I sure enlist DH help but I like to be in charge of it

I agree.
Men, step aside let the pros can show you how it's done! Cool

amother

Turquoise

Tue, Mar 17 2020, 2:56 pm

amother [ Forestgreen ] wrote:

Women (in general) might be better at sorting out the clothing that's no longer needed, but their are plenty of jobs men can do for pesach, some of them very physical.

Scrubbing the fridge, the oven, the hot plate, the burners - these are things men can do as well as women. Same with washing windows etc, if you do that kind of thing before pesach.

I don't think pesach cleaning is a woman's job at all.

amother

Turquoise

Tue, Mar 17 2020, 2:57 pm

And to add - I hate cleaning. I know some women love it and their whole self esteem rests upon how well they clean (at least in some circles in Israel). That's not me. Not my job.

mamma llama

Tue, Mar 17 2020, 2:59 pm

amother [ Turquoise ] wrote:

It's not technically a women's job, but it's easier to ask a cow to moo than to train a horse to moo.

(I'm not saying anybody is a cow or a horse, this is strictly a mashal!)

amother

Blonde

Tue, Mar 17 2020, 3:13 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Let’s be honest, to make pesach halachikly kosher you can do it in a day (besides koshering the kitchen and cleaning the cars, where most men I know actually do help!)

In rest of house, all you have to do is make sure there is no kzayis of chametz anywhere.
That’s not so hard and when we travel and I leave my house for neighbours we do it pretty easily in one morning and just close off the kitchen.

BUT we women want things PERFECTLY shining clean. So it’s our own decision to go all out and slave away. Most of it is a glorified version of spring cleaning and change of seasons, decluttering and dusting.
It’s great and I do it too but let’s just say it’s not a man’s biggest concern or talent.