Being menachem avel

amother

Wed, Mar 18 2020, 7:38 pm

A good friend is sitting shiva for her husband. Does it make sense to go? I really want to, but is it socially appropriate? I don't want her to think we put her and her kids at risk of coronavirus when everyone else stayed away.

ra_mom

Wed, Mar 18 2020, 7:40 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Call her. Send her a video of you so she can see you too (no video call as she might not be up to that).
Baruch Dayon HaEmes!

amother

Copper

Wed, Mar 18 2020, 7:47 pm

Our Shul set up virtual shiva via Zoom.
Is tat something that would be appropriate in your community?
Speak to your Shul rabbi and see if it can be set up (and if the avel would want it)

out-of-towner

Wed, Mar 18 2020, 8:17 pm

Misaskim is not providing Shiva chairs and supplies because they feel it is not the right time to be making Shiva calls at this point.

amother

Taupe

Wed, Mar 18 2020, 8:31 pm

In my community there are no public levayas or shiva calls. Family only. Everyone is calling or sending messages.

amother

Periwinkle

Wed, Mar 18 2020, 8:33 pm

All the instructions I've seen from rabbanim say not to pay shiva visits at this time. I'm actually really worried about this because I have a terminally ill relative and I don't know how to deal with the thought of sitting shiva all by myself instead of with other bereaved family members for support and the usual visitors to bring nechama. Be there for your friend in spirit not in person. Send love and support by phone or text or food delivery.

nanny24/7

Wed, Mar 18 2020, 8:39 pm

See this link about a psak from Rav Chezkel Roth for Brooklyn.

https://www.theyeshivaworld.co......html

Baruch dayan emes.
It is very sad that it has come to this that we can't even get or receive comfort for mourning in this time of crisis. But we must place the value of life above all.

amother

Mint

Wed, Mar 18 2020, 8:50 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

A few of my family members are sitting shiva this week as well. They are all sitting separately and no visitors are allowed. You can call or send videos, maybe see if you can send her food from a restaurant via delivery services.

PinkFridge

Wed, Mar 18 2020, 9:17 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

I forgot to mention that I live in Brooklyn where shuls and Yeshivas closed

No. Don't go. Especially in Brooklyn but anywhere. Call. And I think this is definitely a time where texting's ok if you have a hard time getting through or staying on the phone.

SixOfWands

Thu, Mar 19 2020, 11:12 am

Call. Or, if you can, set up a zoom account for her, so others can "visit." (You can set it so that no one sees you, so she'll be able to see others, but they cannot see her.) Its particularly important to be in touch during these difficult times.

If you cannot bring a meal (and leave it outside her door) see if you can have one sent to her. Its sort of like a love letter in these times.

PinkFridge

Thu, Mar 19 2020, 12:24 pm

amother [ Periwinkle ] wrote:

Big, big hugs. I want to say refuah shleima but you know what's appropriate at this point. I did say Tehillim, for comfort for the relative, with menuchas hanefesh for everyone.
Keep us posted.