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amother




OP
 

Post  Sat, Mar 21 2020, 7:02 pm
Cancel my therapy for the time being..
It's such uncertain times and I don't want to be doing therapy atm.
My therapist says though that I have a responsibility towards her. What do you think?
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littleprincess




 
 
 
 

Post  Sat, Mar 21 2020, 7:24 pm
I think it's a question u have to ask a rav
We will do the same regarding private tutor for one of our children . Theres no school now . But he is relying on this for parnose at the same time we are also losing money from not working and entertaining kids also costs more . More food. Bought some crafts and activities ...
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Elfrida




 
 
 
 

Post  Sat, Mar 21 2020, 7:27 pm
Interesting way of looking at it. I would say the client is the who decides if the therapy is worthwhile or not, and they choose whether to continue the relationship. But she obviously feels that she is relying on you (and her other clients) for some part of her income.

*Did you ever make a commitment to a certain number of sessions?
*Is she offering the option of skype/phone sessions?
*Given the uncertainty of the times, do you see any value in having an external support?
*Would you want to maintain the relationship with occasional sessions, so that when things settle down you have something to go back to rather than starting again from scratch?
*How much of a financial struggle is it to pay her?

In the most simple terms, you are buying a service. If you no longer desire that service, you can tell the provider that you don't want it any more. Therapy feels more personal than that. I don't think you have any responsibility to her, but if you have the money it might be nice not to cut off so abruptly. Uncertain times are often when it is most valuable to have the support of a therapist.
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singleagain




 
 
 
 

Post  Sat, Mar 21 2020, 8:12 pm
I don't think you have a responsibility to a therapist. You have the right to cancel whenever you want.
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mommy3b2c




 
 
 
 

Post  Sat, Mar 21 2020, 8:16 pm
I don’t understand this. Since when does anyone, EVER have an obligation to use someone’s services?
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Ravenclaw




 
 
 
 

Post  Sat, Mar 21 2020, 8:39 pm
singleagain wrote:
I don't think you have a responsibility to a therapist. You have the right to cancel whenever you want.


Agreed, unless OP is expecting her to keep her slot open for her.
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amother




Ginger
 

Post  Sat, Mar 21 2020, 8:44 pm
As a therapist... No... You have no obligation.
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amother




Burlywood
 

Post  Sat, Mar 21 2020, 8:49 pm
Doesn't seem fair for her to put her financial stress on you but can't imagine managing without therapy now!
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notshanarishona




 
 
 
 

Post  Sat, Mar 21 2020, 9:02 pm
- therapy via phone or zoom is not the same . Being that you can't get the same face to face service you totally have a right to cancel if you want with no guilty feelings . If she guilt trips you then I would think twice about going back . Everyone is financially tight now
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chanatron1000




 
 
 
 

Post  Sat, Mar 21 2020, 9:08 pm
If she says you have an obligation, that is a huge red flag! Even if the coronavirus disappears now and everyone's finances bounce back, you should avoid her.
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chicco




 
 
 
 

Post  Sat, Mar 21 2020, 9:13 pm
If your therapist is telling you that you have an obligation to her, you have an obligation to yourself to get a new therapist.
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imasinger




 
 
 
 

Post  Sat, Mar 21 2020, 9:15 pm
What kind of therapy?

I have never heard of a psychotherapist saying anything like that, I agree it's a huge red flag.
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amother




Lemon
 

Post  Sat, Mar 21 2020, 9:18 pm
If you committed to a certain number of sessions, you MAY have an obligation to her - call a Rav to confirm.

However, if not, it sounds like she wants to keep you in therapy indefinitely. That is NOT a good sign. Ideally therapy is something that helps you get to a place where you don't need that level of support anymore and the regular support of friends, family, and self are enough to keep you on an even keel.

At any point, you would have been well within your rights to switch to another therapist, I.e. if you felt it was not a good match or you were not making progress. If right now you feel that she is doing more harm than good (that your financial stress is worse than the emotional stress) you absolutely can cancel without feeling bad at all.
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Hillery




 
 
 
 

Post  Sat, Mar 21 2020, 9:36 pm
Ravenclaw wrote:
Agreed, unless OP is expecting her to keep her slot open for her.


This. Therapists don't expect holiday pay either. It's a service that you either need or you don't, but there's no reason to pay just because.
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Hillery




 
 
 
 

Post  Sat, Mar 21 2020, 9:38 pm
chanatron1000 wrote:
If she says you have an obligation, that is a huge red flag! Even if the coronavirus disappears now and everyone's finances bounce back, you should avoid her.


Red flag for what? The therapist is only human, after all, and she's probably seeing a huge drop in clients right before Pesach. You can't really judge her, especially if she only said it the once.
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amother




Pearl
 

Post  Sat, Mar 21 2020, 11:10 pm
My husband is a therapist. He has offered phone/Skype meeting for all his patients but Almost every single one of them cancelled. If your thinking of your therapist remember There’s a reason she’s working.

Just giving you the other side.

You may benefit from some time in a room alone on the phone with your therapist amongst all this crazyness in the world.

Good luck with your decision.
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amother




Lemon
 

Post  Sat, Mar 21 2020, 11:28 pm
We all understand that the therapist will want to keep her patients. We all understand that having everyone cancel will be an enormous financial burden on the therapist.

What we do NOT understand is her trying to guilt OP into staying, citing vague "obligations," when OP clearly does NOT see a large enough benefit from the therapy to outweigh the financial burden on OP herself.

Had the therapist said something like, "I understand that therapy over Skype does not feel as effective for you, but I think we can work together to make it work; and I can even provide a 10% discount," or anything along those lines would have prevented this thread from being posted altogether.

The way it was presented is what makes this a big red flag.
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seeker




 
 
 
 

Post  Sun, Mar 22 2020, 12:19 am
I don't know what your arrangement has been with her in the past but this seems like a very unprofessional response. You don't have a responsibility to her. Unless you committed to a certain number of sessions, in which case you may be financially on the hook, but that seems unusual. What exactly did she say the responsibility is?
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Rappel




 
 
 
 

Post  Sun, Mar 22 2020, 12:26 am
Hillery wrote:
Red flag for what? The therapist is only human, after all, and she's probably seeing a huge drop in clients right before Pesach. You can't really judge her, especially if she only said it the once.


That's her concern, not her clients'. It's a hugely unprofessional thing to say.
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amother




Amber
 

Post  Sun, Mar 22 2020, 12:29 am
My parent is a therapist, and many patients have put their sessions on hold due to financial or other considerations. My parent is completely understanding. You should feel no guilt whatsoever.
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