Always a guest... now what do I do?

amother

Sun, Mar 22 2020, 6:28 pm

So, I am a divorced BT living out of town. I live in the tristate area and since my divorce I have been away every Shabbos and Yom Tov. I am looking for practical advice. I stayed home for the first time this past Shabbos with a nonobservant parent. Bh I was able to keep Shabbos but don’t foresee their will be any possible way to keep Pesach in my home. It’s more the logistical aspects that are an issue... keeping a flame on, house not being clean for Pesach, being able to light candles from existing flame, etc. I’m not even concerned about the food at this point because it’s available . It’s more about the Halacha.

Would it be outrageous of me to ask someone to host me in their home the entire Pesach? I would obviously offer money for food but my main concern is about the family possibly being exposed or me having possession been exposed entering their house. Please any suggestions would be appreciated!

Last edited by amother on Mon, Mar 23 2020, 1:15 pm; edited 1 time in total

octopus

Sun, Mar 22 2020, 6:43 pm

Why wouldn't you be able to deep clean a kitchen for pesach? That's all that really needs to be done. Are you scared non observant parent is bringing in chametz?

amother

Sun, Mar 22 2020, 6:49 pm

octopus wrote:

Why wouldn't you be able to deep clean a kitchen for pesach? That's all that really needs to be done. Are you scared non observant parent is bringing in chametz?

Exactly. It’s her home and is not going to allow it.

Last edited by amother on Mon, Mar 23 2020, 1:15 pm; edited 1 time in total

amother

Sun, Mar 22 2020, 6:50 pm

imorethanamother wrote:

Do you have kids? Do you have an apartment? Are you a recent BT?

No, I don’t have children and been a BT for 5 years. Definitely never made Pesach even when I was married.

Last edited by amother on Mon, Mar 23 2020, 1:15 pm; edited 1 time in total

amother

Sun, Mar 22 2020, 6:52 pm

octopus wrote:

This is a very difficult situation. Please discuss with your Rav!!

I plan to but wanted to get a general idea of what people think.

Last edited by amother on Mon, Apr 06 2020, 4:17 pm; edited 1 time in total

amother

Chartreuse

Sun, Mar 22 2020, 6:59 pm

1- Discuss with a rav what your options are
2- it might not be a problem for you to be a guest if you self quarantine from now till pesach
3- you can make pesach in your room. Buy an electric burner. Light candles in your room. Use a 3 day yartzeit candle to be able to take fire.

Many, many people were home alone this shabbos. At least you had another human being with you even though your situation is not ideal.

amother

Amber

Sun, Mar 22 2020, 7:01 pm

It sounds like you’re living at a non-Frum relative’s home? If so, BTDT. It’s not easy. Is your relative somewhat kind and accommodating? Are they willing to go along with your basic needs (like leaving a long-burning candle on to light for the second night)? If so, then you can do this. Talk with a Rav but I was told you just have to make your own area KLP. So the kitchen doesn’t need to be KLP, you would just need to clean your own bedroom for Pesach. Can you afford a mini fridge for your room? That way you could store the food you buy without worries. Will your relative feel comfortable with you keeping a crockpot on in your room? My family gets freaked out about leaving appliances on over YT but is okay with crockpots. That way you could warm food up (although it takes forever in a crockpot). If you have a desk or table in your room you could clean it thoroughly and foil it so you have a food prep surface.

amother

Periwinkle

Sun, Mar 22 2020, 7:04 pm

Narbin wrote:

No, I don’t have children and been a BT for 5 years. Definitely never made Pesach even when I was married.

If you call your local chabad and ask, and tell them you would strictly self-quarantine from now until then to be absolutely sure, they might be okay with it.

1ofbillions

Sun, Mar 22 2020, 9:55 pm

Rabbi Bentzion Klatzko often hosts people for shabbosim or yomim tovim. Private message me for his cell phone number or email address, or try contacting him through his website Shabbat.com.

I doubt he’ll be hosting people under the current circumstances but he may have an idea for you.

agreer

Sun, Mar 22 2020, 10:47 pm

This is kinda out there....but can you find someone who got the virus already and get them to host you? You won't re-expose them (not this quickly), and they should be symptom-free by then (assuming they got it last week).

Honestly, it's definitely not crazy to ask.

Hatzlacha rabbah! It must be so hard...

amother

Chartreuse

Sun, Mar 22 2020, 11:35 pm

agreer wrote:

Is this true that once someone has it they won’t get it again?

agreer

Mon, Mar 23 2020, 12:39 am

amother [ Chartreuse ] wrote:

Is this true that once someone has it they won’t get it again?

No. It's not true (and I'm the one that said it in the previous post). Apparently, the virus can mutate to a different version and one can get it again, just like one can get the flu more than once in her lifetime. However, that takes time. So, if you got the coronavirus this year, you probably won't get it again this year. But there is a chance you can get it later in life.

Therefore, if one already got it this year, before Pesach, you can have guests because you won't get it again from them.

That is what I've heard thus far. Definitely check with a doctor, though.

FranticFrummie

Mon, Mar 23 2020, 12:47 am

Right now it's still early days, and researchers can't agree if Corona can be gotten twice in a row. There have been some cases where people have been released from the hospital once they test negative, just to have them come back with a positive test and have to be readmitted.

Either they are coming back a week later with a new infection, or the negative tests were defective in the first place. No one is sure right now.

familyfirst

Mon, Mar 23 2020, 1:48 am

I think you may be able to stay home
Set aside a corner somewhere for yourself as your kitchen (can be in your bedroom)and keep your food there
You may need to eat come food but it’s doable
Cold chicken, no soup
Or maybe set up a crockpot in your room And keep it filled with water if no food is in it at the moment

Asking someone to host you now is a lot
Ask your rav but I think it could be done

amother

Papaya

Mon, Mar 23 2020, 10:59 am

Hillery wrote:

I don't think it's outrageous. Nobody is going to be completely quarantined from now until Pesach.

Of course people will be quarantined.
Stay home means stay home.
Get your groceries delivered, etc.

Although if OP quarantines herself for 14 days before pesach (to make sure she doesn’t have it & the other family does as well, I don’t see the issue.
2 families can quarantine together as long as they make sure zero outside exposure.