Can everyone calm down and stop being mean and bossy?

southernbubby

Tue, Mar 24 2020, 9:11 am

amother [ Coffee ] wrote:

Southern bubby
Refuah shlaima to your family.
And that is the point. Your family made choices based on your needs.
What If parents are younger and have a new couple with no kids,? The point is we need to be careful, very careful, but also have to stop yelling at others.

I agree 💯 that each case must be weighed on it's own merits. The government is trying to balance preventing an onslaught of sick people that there is not enough manpower and equipment for with unnecessarily hindering the economy and plunging millions into poverty.

amother

Seagreen

Tue, Mar 24 2020, 9:12 am

amother [ Coffee ] wrote:

The "others" you refer to won't be yelled at if they follow the guidelines set out by the experts and government (either local or federal).

It's like when one of my kids says "I don't to be in time out." Well, don't slap your sibling and I won't have a reason to put you in time out. Very simple.

You don't want to be yelled at? Follow the rules and don't put others' health or life at risk.

It's very, very simple.

OOTforlife

Tue, Mar 24 2020, 9:17 am

amother [ Coffee ] wrote:

Then same applies to married dd going to parents. She is not going to a crowd. She is going to her parents who want her to come. She can be careful with washing, sanitizing and will not socialize with neighbors. How is that different from her parents going to a store?
Now if her parents or her are in full quarantine then of course she should not go.

Is she the only child going to her parents? If all the married siblings in a medium sized frum family (let's say 5 kids) are going to their parents with spouses and their own children (let's say an average of 3), that is already a crowd, 27 people.

southernbubby

Tue, Mar 24 2020, 9:23 am

I would also say this; if you are living in an area where people can't get food or medication delivered, you can assume that your fellow shoppers have a sick family member at home to which they have been exposed but they are in dire need and broke quarantine to get what they needed.

watergirl

Tue, Mar 24 2020, 9:26 am

Government: This is so serious, you need to stay in your houses and leave only if you must. All nonessential places of business are closed. Schools are closed. Public transportation is limited.

Medical professionals: This is so serious, you need to stay in your houses and leave only if you must. No support people can accompany you to the hospital. No visitors at nursing homes. Drs and nurses are getting sick.

Rabbonim: this is so serious, you need to stay in your house and leave only if you must. Yeshivos are closed. Minyanim are closed. Shiva visits are via phone. Weddings and funerals can have only 10 people. MIKVAHS are limited! (ETA - Weddings and funerals are to be outside and people STILL have to stay 6 feet away from each other).

Anothers: nahhhh. My kids are coming to me for pesach. It’s a free world. Why shouldn't they? We want them. They cant make pesach on their own. Its a mitzvah to visit your mother.

Everyone else now has to stay in this weird existence even LONGER than initially thought because people are ignoring the professionals and rabbonim.

Come the summer, we will have amothers here crying because camp is cancelled. Some bungalows are already not allowed to open. Brace yourselves for post after post about 10 kids being cramped in a tiny apartment in the city.

This does not need to happen. So yes! We are not so polite at this point.

Last edited by watergirl on Tue, Mar 24 2020, 9:45 am; edited 1 time in total

amother

Coffee

Tue, Mar 24 2020, 9:34 am

OOTforlife wrote:

This is the problem- we all write one example- obviously there many different scenarios. Of course people shouldn’t host a large number. See that’s the problem with “what if’s” they are never ending.
So everyone be: very careful
1- Don’t go anywhere unless you absolutely must (which doesn't include not ready to make pesach alone)
2- Wash, wash and wash hands
3- Think about your actions affecting others
4- say tehillim
5- stop being mean and criticizing ( the yetzer hara loves that one)

amother

Coffee

Tue, Mar 24 2020, 9:38 am

watergirl wrote:

Government: This is so serious, you need to stay in your houses and leave only if you must. All nonessential places of business are closed. Schools are closed. Public transportation is limited.

Medical professionals: This is so serious, you need to stay in your houses and leave only if you must. No support people can accompany you to the hospital. No visitors at nursing homes. Drs and nurses are getting sick.

Rabbonim: this is so serious, you need to stay in your house and leave only if you must. Yeshivos are closed. Minyanim are closed. Shiva visits are via phone. Weddings and funerals can have only 10 people. MIKVAHS are limited!

Anothers: nahhhh. My kids are coming to me for pesach. It’s a free world. Why shouldn't they? We want them. They cant make pesach on their own. Its a mitzvah to visit your mother.

Everyone else now has to stay in this weird existence even LONGER than initially thought because people are ignoring the professionals and rabbonim.

Come the summer, we will have amothers here crying because camp is cancelled. Some bungalows are already not allowed to open. Brace yourselves for post after post about 10 kids being cramped in a tiny apartment in the city.

This does not need to happen. So yes! We are not so polite at this point.

So 10 people can be at a wedding? But I can’t have 10 at my house. See this does not make sense.

amother

Seagreen

Tue, Mar 24 2020, 9:39 am

amother [ Coffee ] wrote:

This is the problem- we all write one example- obviously there many different scenarios. Of course people shouldn’t host a large number. See that’s the problem with “what if’s” they are never ending.
So everyone be: very careful
1- Don’t go anywhere unless you have no other option
2- Wash, wash and wash hands
3- Think about your actions affecting others
4- say tehillim
5- stop being mean and criticizing ( the yetzer hara loves that one)

Great post, except let's change number one to:
Don't go anywhere unless it is to the doctor, or to purchase food or medicine.

"No other option" can be interpreted as "there's no way I can make Pesach this year, I have to go to my parents."

moonstone

Tue, Mar 24 2020, 9:42 am

small bean wrote:

Being a healthcare worker means putting your life at risk. It was a choice you made when you went into this field. I think healthcare workers are heroes but don't complain that your life is at risk.
.

You are unbelievable. Sure, they assume some risk, but who could foresee a pandemic like this that only happens once every century???

All over the world, health care workers are saying they don't have adequate supplies. I was just reading about nurses in a hospital in the UK who had to make their own protective gear out of garbage bags! Some have to SHARE MASKS!!! Do you really think they signed up for that?

And as for your other clueless post that said healthcare workers aren't dying at a higher rate-- wrong again! I've been following the news in European countries and several doctors have died from the Coronavirus, including a doctor in Italy who was the head of his area's medical association.

Must be nice to live in your ignorant little bubble.

watergirl

Tue, Mar 24 2020, 9:43 am

amother [ Coffee ] wrote:

So 10 people can be at a wedding? But I can’t have 10 at my house. See this does not make sense.

I am sorry for not being more clear. The wedding regulations are for each person to remain 6 feet away from each other and weddings are outside. I’m sure you know this by now. I will edit my post anyways because I guess it wasnt clear enough.

southernbubby

Tue, Mar 24 2020, 9:44 am

amother [ Coffee ] wrote:

So 10 people can be at a wedding? But I can’t have 10 at my house. See this does not make sense.

I think that most people who didn't postpone the wedding got married outside where people had room to spread out. My dining room can't safely accommodate 10 people right now and it is not that small.

watergirl

Tue, Mar 24 2020, 9:46 am

amother [ Seagreen ] wrote:

Excuses and learned learned helplessness. EVERYONE can make pesach.

amother

Ginger

Tue, Mar 24 2020, 9:47 am

amother [ Coffee ] wrote:

So 10 people can be at a wedding? But I can’t have 10 at my house. See this does not make sense.

You seriously dont see the difference between 10 people standing apart from each other for a chupah which lasts an hour or two and not holding hands during dancing to 10 people living together in the same house for 8 days, using the same bathrooms, sitting on the same couches and sitting close to each other for many meals ??! You dont see a difference ?! You have got to be kidding me .

amother

Peach

Tue, Mar 24 2020, 9:52 am

amother [ Coffee ] wrote:

Are you in total isolation? Have you not gone out for any food shopping? Have you not received mail or deliveries?

Yes I am totally isolation except going for walk for the past two weeks. My husband goes for groceries. When he does he is very vigilant to not touch his face and after leaving he uses purell/washes his hands. After opening a letter/getting delivery we wash our hands, wipe down delivery... So yeah..

ora_43

Tue, Mar 24 2020, 10:02 am

amother [ Coffee ] wrote:

It's different because her parents have to go to a store to get food or medicine.

At least I assume that's what you're talking about. If the parents are out clothes shopping, then that's another thing they should stop doing.

I get that on an individual level it seems like overkill to be opposed to one measly little family visit. But imagine an entire city of 50,000 people, all getting together with extended family (and the original post that prompted the criticism was someone talking about having multiple married kids over, with their spouses and children). People will spread the virus. Maybe this one family will get lucky, but plenty won't. And those 100-odd people who get sick are another 100 people spreading the virus every time they go to the grocery store or to shul, they're another 10-20 people in the hospital putting staff there at risk and taking up desperately needed space*.

Plus, 100 new cases could be the difference between this winding down sometime shortly after Pesach, and the government deciding to keep up the severe restrictions.

We all need to act as if everyone in town is going to follow our lead (a pretty good rule for life in general).

*(note that these numbers are assuming young people!! ie ages 20-44)

amother

Coffee

Tue, Mar 24 2020, 10:05 am

southernbubby wrote:

Exactly what I was trying to say but better worded

ora_43

Tue, Mar 24 2020, 10:11 am

I do sympathize with people who really, desperately want to see family, and don't see what the big deal is. I really and truly do.

I just also sympathize with people who are having their lives turned upside down because of this illness - whether they're in healthcare or suddenly unemployed or just trying to entertain young kids in a small apartment without losing their sanity - and who have ZERO patience left for people who can't bring themselves to keep the rules.