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Any Other Wives of Mentally Ill Husbands Struggling Now?

 
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amother




OP
 

Post  Tue, Mar 24 2020, 2:07 am
Of course it's always a struggle but having a mentally ill husband with everyone home makes it ten times harder. He's sleeping about 21 hours a day lately. He comes out of bed mostly just to go downstairs for a smoke and then he grabs something to eat. I sometimes wonder if it would be easier without him home.

Right now what I do is I close the door to our room and pretend he's not there. It's easier as long as he stays in there. When he comes out and does absolutely nothing to help or a token amount to make him have bargaining chips for when I tell him to stop doing nothing...

Anyone else in the same boat and have any advice? I already asked his medical provider who had no clear answers for me now.
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amother




Amber
 

Post  Tue, Mar 24 2020, 5:49 am
yes I am having a very hard time.
also my husbands anxiety is much worse which makes things so much harder.

I dont' know how I will survive this -- living with a mentally ill dh is hard - but now with everyone home and when he is home all the time it is so much harder.
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amother




Wheat
 

Post  Tue, Mar 24 2020, 7:04 am
What's frustrating for me is watching dh do nothing. When I'm at work I can pretend that he's home doing something useful. Now that I'm home too the reality is staring me in the face. Crying
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FranticFrummie




 
 
 
 

Post  Tue, Mar 24 2020, 7:10 am
It's so hard. Depression definitely gets 100x worse when you're in lock down mode. I am having a hard time getting motivated, myself. When you don't have a clear schedule, with accountability and consequences, it's very easy to just sink into a fog.

If the weather is nice, open all the doors and windows, and get as much fresh air in as possible. It will help clear out the funk and bad energy.

Do your best to ignore him if he's just sleeping all the time. As long as your DH is not under your feet and causing you trouble, pretend he's off on a business trip somewhere.

Keep checking in here for support, and know that you are not alone. Hug
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Teomima




 
 
 
 

Post  Tue, Mar 24 2020, 7:31 am
I hear ya. This is so, so hard. He's really incapable of doing anything with the kids so keeping everyone busy, entertained, fed, educated, etc all without leaving the house is entirely on me. Our home is a wreck and he can't/won't help with that. At least he still has work, so he's out much of the day, which saves me from his attitude (though Shabbat...oy) but I'm really struggling with having no support for myself or any help through all this.
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amother




Jade
 

Post  Tue, Mar 24 2020, 7:43 am
I, too am having a really hard time with this. My husband's anxiety is way worse than ever. He is also sleeping a lot, and when any of my children want some attention, he picks fights with them. Some days, I felt like I have another toddler in the house. I kept having to break things up between him and my toddler, him and my preschooler all day! Real petty fights- over a spot on the couch, or him saying things to them that he knows will upset them. Basically, they were fights on a 3 yr olds level... and when he did decide to join us as a family, get out of bed and act like a person, he was chewing my ears off by obsessing over things that are causing him anxiety and just saying the same things over and over again. I'm going nuts from him already! It's definitely been a tough week here:(
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amother




Mistyrose
 

Post  Tue, Mar 24 2020, 8:49 am
I have a teenage daughter who is mentally ill, and I'm going nuts. She doesn't have regular therapy sessions now and she's really not in a good place. She's a full time job, but I now have a bunch of other kids at home in quarantine, so thing are spiraling downwards.
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amother




Jetblack
 

Post  Tue, Mar 24 2020, 9:06 am
Can you all contact Chazkeinu?
314-346-7414 or info@chazkeinu.org
It's a mental health support organization
They're awesome šŸ˜Š
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amother




Jade
 

Post  Tue, Mar 24 2020, 11:52 am
amother [ Jetblack ] wrote:
Can you all contact Chazkeinu?
314-346-7414 or info@chazkeinu.org
It's a mental health support organization
They're awesome šŸ˜Š


I reached out to them a little before the whole corona craziness came to NY. I got an email back that someone will call me and then set me up with a support partner, but no one has called me yet:(
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momwifedaughter




 
 
 
 

Post  Tue, Mar 24 2020, 11:57 am
BTW extreme fatigue is a sign of Corona. Get them checked
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amother




OP
 

Post  Tue, Mar 24 2020, 12:32 pm
amother [ Jade ] wrote:
I reached out to them a little before the whole corona craziness came to NY. I got an email back that someone will call me and then set me up with a support partner, but no one has called me yet:(


Same
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amother




OP
 

Post  Tue, Mar 24 2020, 12:33 pm
momwifedaughter wrote:
BTW extreme fatigue is a sign of Corona. Get them checked


This sleeping all day isn't a new thing. It's just hard to be home seeing it...
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amother




Tan
 

Post  Tue, Mar 24 2020, 4:26 pm
I was coming here to post this same question.
My husband's depression has always been manageable. He goes to work every day and goes to the gym 4 times a week, goes to therapy and takes meds. Now he is working from home and the gym is closed and the therapy session is going to be a skype session. Its been beyond difficult for him to not be able to get out and very hard for myself and our children. He lashes out, he is indecisive, he is very low. I really hope we can weather the storm and come out the other side together and not too broken. Its only been a week and a half that we are on almost full lock down and it has not been good at all. I am actually very scared to know how things will progress. And my children realize that abba is not doing very well either. Its all around not good.
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amother




Amber
 

Post  Wed, Mar 25 2020, 1:24 am
things for me are only getting worse
dh is behaving disgusting

I'm really thinking again that maybe I'm wrong to stay married
I am hurting so much now

I am doing e/t in the house with all the kids and instead of appreciating - he is making my life more difficult and very critical and impossible
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amother




Jetblack
 

Post  Wed, Mar 25 2020, 1:53 am
amother [ Jade ] wrote:
I reached out to them a little before the whole corona craziness came to NY. I got an email back that someone will call me and then set me up with a support partner, but no one has called me yet:(
Try to call or text the number hopefully that'll be a better way to reach them! Sorry you're having a hard time reaching them!
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amother




Periwinkle
 

Post  Wed, Mar 25 2020, 4:55 am
amother [ Jetblack ] wrote:
Can you all contact Chazkeinu?
314-346-7414 or info@chazkeinu.org
It's a mental health support organization
They're awesome šŸ˜Š

What help do they offer for spouses?
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amother




Floralwhite
 

Post  Fri, May 22 2020, 6:26 pm
My husband has never been diagnosed, since he's in denial, so I live with this when he should be on medication. I have considered divorce many times, but when the children were young I was afraid to go through it. Now I think when the Beit Din reconvenes, I'll be on the long line of women waiting to get a Get.
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