Invitation Vent | Imamother

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Invitation Vent

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amother

Thu, Mar 26 2020, 2:15 pm

I know that in the grand scheme of things this is small potatoes, but it's just my feelings and I have no where else to complain.

I was busy with a million things before Purim, but my niece is getting married and I put in time that I didn't really have to design a monogram for her invitations because it seemed like no one else was doing it. I emailed it to my sister and all I heard was it was nice and they were going to place the order. I'm not an "artist", but I have done some monogram experience and it was hand drawn and each time I had to alter it I had to redraw it. I even redid it to try to make a change that my niece requested. I even looked at the proof b/c my sister wanted to make sure that it was on the invitation correctly. Then, my sister asked me for the picture that the monogram was based off of. I was suspicious, but I complied.

Today I found out that the invitations arrived and oh, btw, they went with a different monogram that someone else did. All my sister could say was, "It wasn't my decision".

I know that nothing else of this wedding is going right and my feelings are not important right now, but I'm still human.

mrs me

Thu, Mar 26 2020, 2:17 pm

Ouch ouch ouch that is so painful 😣

amother

Crimson

Thu, Mar 26 2020, 2:20 pm

People are actually printing invitations for weddings with 10 people?

amother

Thu, Mar 26 2020, 2:25 pm

amother [ Crimson ] wrote:

People are actually printing invitations for weddings with 10 people?

They were told to "proceed as usual" with a line about how to contact in case of changes.

amother

Thu, Mar 26 2020, 2:32 pm

amother [ Crimson ] wrote:

People are actually printing invitations for weddings with 10 people?

Also as my sister explained it, it's more of a "we're thinking of you and would ideally like for you to be part of our simcha"

imasinger

Thu, Mar 26 2020, 2:36 pm

That's not nice.

If it weren't so stressful a time, maybe you could have eventually cleared the air with your niece directly.

Since that's not the case, let it be for a kapparah.

Your time and skill are still valuable.

amother

Brown

Thu, Mar 26 2020, 3:41 pm

That's very annoying and frustrating. I know someone who was in a very similar situation but as a bystander I didn't feel like I can say anything. (Was between a SIL n MIL n I didn't want to interfere or take sides even tho they both told me about it separately).

trixx

Thu, Mar 26 2020, 3:58 pm

Ppl who don't do(graphic design, photography, etc) think everything takes one minute.

amother

Crimson

Thu, Mar 26 2020, 4:04 pm

Maybe someone can tell your sister that the right thing to do, even if she didnt use your design, is giving you some kind of gift (or whatever you expected)?

Learning

Mon, May 04 2020, 12:33 am

Dd just got married. Everything was so stressful even though it was a happy occasion. I think that maybe the kalla decided to use another one. Maybe she didn’t like it for a certain reason. We need to remember that this day is the most important for the kalla (and the chosson:). It’s her day. Especially now. I can’t imagine if Dd had to deal with the Korana situation. I feel bad for the kalla. Girls dream about this day and now she won’t be the princess... so maybe she is very particular about the invitations. Because maybe the invitations is one of the only things that most people will see from her wedding. And maybe she will send you a thank you note/gift after everything calms down.

amother

Mon, May 04 2020, 12:39 am

Learning wrote:

In this case, I don't think the kallah partiularly loved the design that was used, seems there was some sort of "backstory" that wasn't made public but my sister/niece didn't want to start a "fight." There was some talk of trying to incorporate it somehow--but not that there's anyway to do that now that there's likely no sheva brachos or anything. I showed it to some other family members who said mine was better. The one on the invitation, in my (and others I've spoke to) opinion doesn't even make sense.

BatyaEsther

Mon, May 04 2020, 12:47 am

Been in your situation before and all can say is it hurts.

It may have been the in-laws and your sister/niece felt that it is better to just use what they want and have a peaceful relationship. Maybe something else was bartered (naming a future baby) who knows.
It is frustrating, but as you said, it is small potatoes. Know that you were mesamech the Kallah, she knows what you did for her, and may Hashem repay you for your time and chessed may times over.

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