BD"E Smilingmom | Imamother

PinkFridge

Sun, Mar 29 2020, 1:57 pm

She outed herself.
I'm sorry I was just figuring out the chat thing as it ended but I didn't want to out myself though video or audio. I'm not going to check into any other zoom info, levaya is different than shiva, the latter would just be voyeuristic if I won't out myself.

Please send the family my very best. Her father is such a gentleman, I can tell, and I wish him koach, refuas hanefesh, and continued nachas from the entire family. Everyone had such hadras panim. Shoshana, Elle, I could pinch your cheeks. (Tell the boys and everyone else not be insulted. Them too Also I came in late.)
Let me share something I heard the summer that Leiby Kletzky ah, and several gedolim of great stature, zt"l, passed away:
There is a void now. There is no way any one of us can fill the void, but by contemplating the wonderful person that Gila was, we can try in our own way, to fill the void, and maybe collectively we'll get somewhere.

Hamakom yenachem eschem b'soch she'ar aveilei Tziyon VYrushalayim.

PinkFridge

Sun, Mar 29 2020, 2:04 pm

PinkandYellow wrote:

My mother, Gila, aka smilingmom, was the truest most honest person. There was never anything she said that she wasn't happy to let anyone know that it was her. Gila Brownstein is smilingmom. She never hid behind anonymity, she never felt she had to.

There you are! Big, big social distance hugs, but from my heart.
I doubt this will help your grandfather yet but something that helped me during shiva (and I can identify with much of what you went through, I hope it's not presumptuous of me to say, please trust me and we can continue this conversation if you 'd like) was knowing what an impact my relatives made, and how much people loved and respected and appreciated them.
May you have kochos, and love, and laughter. (Was that your aunt moderating? I can tell there will be a lot of smiles, and that's good!) And enjoy your nachas while knowing how much your mother ah and your father yibadel l'chayim aruchim are reaping too!

ROFL

Sun, Mar 29 2020, 6:04 pm

Gila
My parents had it right when they named Gila- in Hebrew Gila means Joy.
Gila always was happy not that she was unreasonably happy. But no matter what the problem she was able to deal with it with a smile she saw the world thru rose colored glasses - always seeing the positive in life.
With Bli Ayin Hara ( without an evil eye) 7 kids there was always issues in life and Gila's answer is always "everything is perfect". This was not to hide the problems, not because of stigma. Only because she really believed it . One day when the kids were little me being the more “negative” one I listed what the kids were going thru and I told her your going thru a lot. And she said. When you put it in those words it looks like a lot - but BH- (Thank God) I am able to handle it and we will get thru it. And BH (Thank God) the kids grew up and the problems resolved.
We grew up together. The three of us. Not exactly Irish twins but close enough. Then came the little one Ora.
Gila loved have fun and going out. She was an engerizer bunny and was always on the go.
Danny was Gila’s and my boss in MIshkan and he picked her up right away. Her dream of a white picket fence, with a big house, 2 cars and 2.2 kids was gone. She married to Danny and instead of the 2.2 kids she planned on she went to have seven wonderful children. Each and everyone very precious to her.
Gila allowed and encouraged Danny to learn for all these 38 years in Kollel. That was what he choose to do and she choose to support him in that.

Gila enjoyed working in the court system. She loved the details, the intricacies of the law. She took this information and was helpful to all in the community. When someone needed help Gila was there. She was reasonable, fair and straightforward in all her work. She always helped everyone and tried to make any legal procedures less complicated so that she can help people. She was always willing to lend an ear and hand to help people with legal help.
When my parents moved to Riverdale Gila and I split how were going to help them. I took care of the medical and financial. I traveled to Columbia Presbyterian, NYU, Einstein hospitals and doctors across the state.
Gila took care of the phones internet and TV - she traveled with them to the Rockies mountain, a beautiful cruise to Alaska, Miami and hotels in the Catskills. Like I said she liked to have fun.

When Gila first got sick she knew she would fight this and win. And although we are here today she did win. She got so many extra years. Thanks to Hashem and to her wonderful doctor Dr Li , Lizzie and their team.

ROFL

Sun, Mar 29 2020, 6:06 pm

The world lost its rose colored glasses.

Gila didn’t want anyone else to write her eulogy, she wanted to write it herself - and she wanted it to be filled with wild and wondrous accolades, exaggerations that would make you think she was the most amazing person in the world. She felt we would be too honest - she knows us very well and the way we are. But what she didn’t realize is that even within the constraints of my inability to give unearned accolades nor give false compliments - I can only think of sharing all the ways in which she was an amazing human being.

But I’ll start off with a complaint - she procrastinated (it’s a family trait) - she never did write that eulogy so I’m stuck writing this. But she also procrastinated in dying, and we had her with us far longer than the doctors expected and she stubbornly stayed with us and I’m grateful for each moment I got to spend with her.

She was both an optimist and a realist and it’s not that she didn’t judge people. We both agreed that is not possible. But It’s that she judged wisely, compassionately, with patience, and with good advice.

She judged each situation on its individual circumstances. In her work as a mediator and in her life with her children. Long before anyone ever did such things, She sent each child to a different school, at a time it was unheard of, because she knew each child had different needs and each child deserved those needs met.

We all need someone to ask advice, and I would most often go to her - I know most of us did because she was really great at seeing solutions and compromises. But she also often asked me for advice - and that is something that was so meaningful to me because she reminded me that I was smart and useful and resourceful, when I struggle to see myself as she saw me. I still need her because she made me a better me.

I have some information I need to share with Gila. Remember the discussion of what if you get hungry, what can you eat in the afterlife... Gila, you need to look up Reuben and Rose Mattus, they created Hagen Daz, not sure if you can use google or if they still use phone books up there. But they’ve got to have ice cream up there.

I love you I miss you

ROFL

Sun, Mar 29 2020, 6:08 pm

With a heavy heart I say goodbye to my aunt Gila Brownstein. She touched many lives and had an infectious smile. She was always a fighter and passionate about what she believed in. She helped anyone she could whenever and however she was able to. She always made me laugh. I'm sure I have more words, but they're hard to find right now. She's a survivor. She didn't allow her cancer to ruin her spirits. Even in hospice she was laughing with my mom, Rachel Lewitter, my other aunt Judith Cohen and her brother, my uncle Yossi Fischel on FaceTime. I will always remember her and the kindness surrounding her. She is remembered by her seven children and twenty grandchildren. Among the masses of people who knew her. May her memory always be a blessing and may her spirit be carried out in this crazy world. I love you. בורך דיין האמת