Why were weddings pushed up

amother

Mon, Mar 30 2020, 4:58 am

Somebody mentioned on a different thread that they know a young couple that had a pushed up wedding which was a chupas nidda due to corona.
I am confused as to why people did this?
The guest list at these weddings were anyways limited(or should have been) so what was the point?

FranticFrummie

Mon, Mar 30 2020, 5:02 am

I don't understand either. Especially when people are saying how traumatic it is for a new couple to be alone together, without the constant presence of their parents.

If it's such a terrible thing to be alone with your new husband, it would make a lot more sense to delay the wedding, don't you think?

Elfrida

Mon, Mar 30 2020, 5:03 am

Because no one knows when there might be a complete lock down, or for how long, and they don't want to risk putting off the wedding indefinitely.

England doesn't allow any gathering greater than two people, and there are others as strict. People are getting married while they still can.

amother

Natural

Mon, Mar 30 2020, 5:07 am

When people think the world is coming to an end, they tend to davka couple up so they won't be alone, and also I think to not die virgins.

amother

Floralwhite

Mon, Mar 30 2020, 5:10 am

Because it doesn't make sense to book a hall, a caterer and a band if you don't know if you will actually be able to use them. So people are saying, ok, let's just get married already.

FranticFrummie

Mon, Mar 30 2020, 5:12 am

But some people in this thread https://www.imamother.com/foru.....86839 are saying that having a newlywed couple spend a lot of time together in quarantine is the worst possible thing in the world.

So, which is it?

Edited. Thanks Sequoia for pointing that out!

Last edited by FranticFrummie on Mon, Mar 30 2020, 6:31 am; edited 1 time in total

amother

Mon, Mar 30 2020, 5:20 am

Elfrida wrote:

In such a case the poor kalla who got married a nidda will not be able to get to a mikva indefinitely. sounds like a terrible idea to me

Elfrida

Mon, Mar 30 2020, 5:24 am

Mikvaot are still open.

I can't speak for other countries, but in Israel mikvaot are categorized as essential services, and there are no plans to close them.

amother

Mon, Mar 30 2020, 5:29 am

Right, so I don't understand why not make these weddings as soon as possible with a kalla that is not a nidda.
I live in israel and there were many minute to minute weddings these past 2 weeks.

Elfrida

Mon, Mar 30 2020, 5:34 am

What if there is a complete lockdown before she could go to the mikva? Then she could go to the mikva, but they wouldn't be able to get married.

If they are already married, the potential lockdown is less significant, because she would still be able to go to the mikva as soon as possible even if there is a lockdown. It's a frustrating few days or weeks, but not impossible.

DrMom

Mon, Mar 30 2020, 5:39 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Right, so I don't understand why not make these weddings as soon as possible with a kalla that is not a nidda.
I live in israel and there were many minute to minute weddings these past 2 weeks.

I totally understand wanting to just get it over with and not waiting until the kallah is not niddah.

Harsher restrictions are being applied every day. People just want to get married before some new restriction makes it even harder to do so.

If they have chuppas niddah, then they can wait a bit before consummating the marriage, but at least the deal is sealed and all the paperwork can get in the pipeline before even more govt workers are ordered home, or before the Rabbinut is forced to operate on a shoestring staff.

Besides, soon we'll have Pesach, and then we'll be in the Omer, so there will be more waiting...

amother

Mon, Mar 30 2020, 5:40 am

I guess I personally would not want to be a kallas nidda in such uncertain times.
on the other hand getting married with a small quest list would not bother me.
But I guess we all have different preferences.

FranticFrummie

Mon, Mar 30 2020, 5:42 am

DrMom wrote:

OK, that makes a lot of sense.

I just don't get the posters who are saying that it will be so awful for the new couple to be in lock-down together.

I bentch all new couples that making a Pesach for two should be the very worst thing they ever have to deal with.

Elfrida

Mon, Mar 30 2020, 6:02 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

I don't think anyone is worrying about a small guest list. People are worried that the guest list might not be big enough to allow for chattan, kalla, Mesader kidushin and two eidim to all be together in one open space at the same time. Or that no one will be allowed out of the house. For an indefinite period, but probably lasting through Pesach.

sequoia

Mon, Mar 30 2020, 6:11 am

FranticFrummie wrote:

But some people in this thread https://www.imamother.com/foru.....86935 are saying that having a newlywed couple spend a lot of time together in quarantine is the worst possible thing in the world.

So, which is it?

That is the wrong link.

FranticFrummie

Mon, Mar 30 2020, 6:32 am

sequoia wrote:

Did you maybe mean this one?

https://www.imamother.com/foru.....86839

Oh my gosh, you're right! There are so many threads going on, I got mixed up.

Thanks for spotting that, I went back and edited.

I'm sorry I implied you had a reading comprehension problem. The error was clearly mine. embarrassed

zaftigmom

Mon, Mar 30 2020, 6:38 am

FranticFrummie wrote:

I think that being alone together for three full days with no people or technology is a little intense for any marriage. If newlyweds haven't yet figured out how to work through differences in communication, love languages etc, it could potentially have a big impact on their marriage to be thrown into the deep end like that. They should still stay home. I just get how it could be really hard.