Green kallah wedding dress

louche

Sun, Jan 27 2008, 8:40 pm

I once went to a wedding at which the kallah wore a street-length blue dress. The couple were of very modest means and the dress would henceforth serve as the kallah's simcha dress for whatever simchas she would attend. I thought she was very smart. What's the point spending so much money on a dress you can only wear once? She looked every bit as beautiful in a blue dress, no one had any trouble picking her out as the bride (she was the one in a veil, duh!) and instead of having to give it back to the rental place or put it away in storage forever, she could wear it over and over and relive the joy of her wedding.

As long as the kallah is dressed modestly and in good taste, why should she not march to the beat of a different drummer? Where is it written that she must wear a floor-length white ballgown? If she has the courage to buck the tide, more power to her! I'll bet a green gown is much more reasonably priced than a white one, too, because the minute you label anything "bridal" the price jumps 500%.

louche

Sun, Jan 27 2008, 8:45 pm

Mrs. XYZ wrote:

Sounds like shes doing it just for the attention. If she is the type that wont listen to what others tell her anyway, I would just keep quiet and not give her the attention.

excuse me? for the attention? isn't the kallah SUPPOSED to be the center of attention? No matter what she wears? Just how would wearing a nontraditional-color dress attract any more attention than being the only one in blinding white in a sea of black?

louche

Sun, Jan 27 2008, 8:46 pm

Hannah! wrote:

If it was someone in MY family, I'd seriously consider never speaking to that side again. I wouldn't want it to get out that a relative of mine who I am close to did something SO non-conformist at a wedding. If people think I'm close to them, maybe they'd even think I myself would consider such a thing -- it could wreak havoc for my kids shidduchim, ch"v!

Seriously, I would consider not attending the wedding to make sure that her poor choice in wedding dresses does not ch"v taint your good name.

downsyndrome

Sun, Jan 27 2008, 9:08 pm

Aside from worldly tradition, isn't the kallah's white gown a symbol of her purity and virginity in the Jewish tradition?

So, you think Al Gore might be the designer of this green wedding dress? Mr. Green

cassandra

Sun, Jan 27 2008, 9:33 pm

micki wrote:

approach it from a differnt angle. what are the reasons, halachick or otherwise for wearign a white wedding gown?

Queen Victoria popularized the white wedding gown when she married Prince Albert in 1840. If there is some sort of Jewish source for white dresses before this, I'd be shocked.

louche

Sun, Jan 27 2008, 10:44 pm

micki wrote:

Quote:

isn't the kallah's white gown a symbol of her purity and virginity in the Jewish tradition?

No. Brides of edot hamizrach wore very colorful dresses. check out the magnificent Yemenite wedding robe in the Jewish Museum (I think--unless it's beit hatefutzot). Red trimmed with gold and stunning.

cassandra

Sun, Jan 27 2008, 10:49 pm

micki wrote:

Quote:

isn't the kallah's white gown a symbol of her purity and virginity in the Jewish tradition?

Obviously the color white represents purity in the Jewish tradition, but I don't think it follows that white is the traditional color for Jewish brides.

Unmarried women wore white when they danced on Tu B'Av. To me, this would actually be a sign that they didn't wear white when marrying, as they were moving on to the next level.

If anyone has an early Jewish source for white wedding clothes, I would be fascinated.

mumoo

Sun, Jan 27 2008, 11:38 pm

Hannah! wrote:

I don't think it's nice when people abuse Amother and use it to post snide comments that they can just as easily post under their screen names. In fact, I think that if you read the board rules you will find that it is a violation of Yael's policy for Imamother.com. But hey, you probably don't value my opinion.

eventually the message will get through, thanks for pursuing it.
btw, I disagree with pretty much everything else you said here Very Happy

but I tell you with my own name so you can at least address me personally or take comfort in that I just disagree with you, I don't dislike you ch'v

amother

Mon, Jan 28 2008, 12:16 am

Hannah! wrote:

People make their own realities.

If you think that it makes a difference what color the kallah wears at her wedding -- then, in your reality it makes a difference. If you think attending such a wedding will impact your kids ability to get married -- then, in your reality it probably will make a difference since you're likely to associate with those types of people.

If the OP is the sort of person who thinks such a wedding dress constitutes a "mum", then she probably should consider whether or not she wants people to think she is supportive of that type of behavior.

I am the OP. I never considered not going to the wedding, and I am the last person who you would think of who wouldnt go bc I am scared of my kids' shidduch chances. LOL!!!!!! That's sort of crazy. I wouldnt wear the green dress and I dont like the idea, and disagree with it on many levels. I have never really liked or supported this kallah on many issues but I am going bc I am family. I just wanted to see other ppl's thoughts and reactions.

BeershevaBubby

Mon, Jan 28 2008, 1:40 am

White gowns is NOT a Jewish tradition.

While wearing white signifies purity, it is NOT virginity, it is pure like angels.

The whole 'only virgins wear white as a symbol of their purity' is a thing from the Church.

It is also something that started in the 1600's as a sign of wealth - that a family was so wealthy they could afford a gown for only one occasion.

I've seen wedding gowns in the Tel Aviv bridal shops made from denim... now those are hideous.

BeershevaBubby

Mon, Jan 28 2008, 2:14 am

HindaRochel wrote:

Denim? Oh yuck. Well maybe they are marrying on horseback.

How did medieval Jews use to dress for their weddings?

Well, if you look here the bride is wearing colors much the same as everyone else - brown and blue.

In the wedding painting depicted here (by M. Oppenheim in 1861, Germany) the bride is clearly wearing a blue bodice and a cream or ivory colored skirt. The fact that she is wearing white underneath is simply because most women wore white chemises anyway.

The truth is, in medieval times, Jewish (and non-Jewish) brides usually wore their best gowns. The whole 'specific gown for this one event' is a 19th century thing.

mali

Mon, Jan 28 2008, 3:31 am

louche wrote:

In what eck-velt did she live that she absolutely couldn't borrow something more kallah-dik? Sorry, but I find that hard to understand. Even if you tell me of a kallah that's getting married tonight, I can find you a few kallah gowns for her. Couldn't she at least borrow a sister-of-the-bride gown? Surely there are plenty of those that people would gladly lend for one evening!

Ruchel

Mon, Jan 28 2008, 8:39 am

louche wrote:

What's the point spending so much money on a dress you can only wear once?

hey, I re-wore mine on our anniversary!! LOL

Quote:

Even if you tell me of a kallah that's getting married tonight, I can find you a few kallah gowns for her.

that's nice Mali. I visited a dozen of shops before finding something remotely tzniusdik. Don't talk to me of frum shops, the frum shops I have seen (not even entered, I saw the style from outside) are geared towards the very modern Orthodox people, and when I complained I was told to get one done custom.
I could have, but it would have meant waiting SIX MONTHS.
I used to think how weird so many frum girls, who keep tznius, go wild on the wedding. No no, it's just that they don't find anything else.
I'm not even talking of the light MO/traditional brides who wear stuff for the bedroom...
As for borrowing a gown... I didn't even think of it. do I knock at random doors? lol

louche

Mon, Jan 28 2008, 9:52 am

mali wrote:

In what eck-velt did she live that she absolutely couldn't borrow something more kallah-dik?

Your comment was snide, ignorant, unkind and immature. In what kind of eck-velt were you reared that you would make such a remark?

She happened to have been a member of a very young kibbutz, so young that some of the chaverim were still living in former Jordanian army barracks, and the whole kibbutz was one giant construction site. Fact of the matter is, a floor length white gown would have looked like a dust-covered shmatteh before she had even gotten to the beit Knesset, which IIRC was also brand-new and still coated with plaster dust. What she wore was very beautiful, very batampt, didn't colect the dust from the path, and as I said, there was no mistaking who the kallah was.

besides, did it never occur to you that some kallahs might prefer to get married in a dress of their own rather than something they have to give back?

cindy324

Mon, Jan 28 2008, 3:02 pm

I'm gonna give myself a pat on the back now...pat pat...

Only a few of you will probably know what I meant by that...

It was hard , but I fought the temptation...

Please don't ask...I already patted myself on the back Confused

Purplehair

Mon, Jan 28 2008, 3:24 pm

My Uncle's wife (my aunt), got married wearing a long blue velvet gown. It was a first marriage for the both of them, both were over 50 at the time, and both aren't religious.
She felt that it was more important for her to celebrate her special day dressed in a manner which made her feel regal, as oppossed to "like a bleached out dishrag" (her words). She looked stunning.
Personally, I am very traditional, and so I had the "white gown" wedding. However, I don't think that a white gown should ever be considered a yehereg v'al ya'avor.
The important thing is that the marriage be kosher and that the chosson and kallah are happy. If it means wearing a blue velvet (or green, as per the OP) gown, so be it.

HindaRochel

Mon, Jan 28 2008, 3:28 pm

Purplehair wrote:

I agree (well I already said that). I just don't see that it is anyone else's concern but the bride and groom. If they are happy then everyone else should be happy. No halachot are being violated.

Me I wore ivory. But if my daughters or dil choose something less traditional, go for it. As long as they don't ask me to dress in purple with pink polka dots (though I will it they insist Tongue Out