R u or DH a doctor- are things around you falling apart?

amother

Tue, Mar 31 2020, 10:47 am

Dh is an OB specialist. His patients need to be seen in person for monitoring. His patients are still coming. He is following all of the cdc guidelines and then some.
His staff is afraid to come to work... Some have quite for fear of getting sick.
The doctor who was supposed to cover during pesach decided she is not going to work.

It is all falling on him. I am so afraid that dh is going to just collapse. he gets no sleep- by the time he is semi done with returning results, talking with patients, doctors and then charting he comes to bed at 3am and up again by 8am.

His metabolism is shot- he must have gained 30 pounds this past month from stress.

He can't stop working. he has such a strong sense of what is right and best for his patients that he forgets about himself. Patients always come first to him.

I have told him just close the office and take care of himself. he can't/won't. he is too worried about patient care.

I don't want to be a widow!

I have no idea aside from hugs how to emotionally support him.

amother

Lime

Tue, Mar 31 2020, 10:50 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

OP I don't want to post publically. If you make up an email address, I will answer you regarding ob.

amother

Lavender

Tue, Mar 31 2020, 11:22 am

I'm not in OB but I am a physician. Life is not normal in any way with this COVID situation. We have dramatically reduced our schedules where I work because we need to reduce the chances that people come in contact with each other and potentially spread the virus. I also am in a specialty where physical visits are often necessary. So, with that said, some of the patients can wait (we have been pushing off appts that can wait until at least May) and the patients that come are spaced out during the daytime so there are not people congregating in waiting rooms. Additionally, patients are pre-screened. If they have a fever or possibly COVID symptoms, they can not be seen in our clinic. I know this is different situation compared to OB, especially if an OB patient is experiencing complications. Because of the circumstances, most if not all MDs are practice medicine in a non-ideal setting and the standards of care we are used to are bending.

I hope your DH can get some help, especially with Pesach coming. With working long hours and being frazzled, this is when mistakes can happen, especially with personal cares and appropriate personal protective measures. I would think it's required halachically for the health of himself and his patients that he find a tenable balance and get some recuperation.

We have been trained in medical school and residency to work until we drop. And then we do. It's a fallacy to think we can.

Aside for myself, I'm davening for my medical community and colleagues to stay healthy and safe.

amother

Beige

Tue, Mar 31 2020, 11:23 am

This is true for everyone in healthcare. DH owns a healthcare company that treats geriatrics, and he himself is a doctor. He and his team are running themselves ragged to treat only the patients who vitally need his services, but every day he’s scrambling to cover for employees that are quarantined or scared to work.

I myself am in my 9th month, so as of this week DH stopped going to patients because it’s too risky but the whole situation is crazy stressful, and DH is constantly feeling guilty that he can’t be out in the field.

There are no good answers, only fury at the non-stop threads asking if people can go away for Pesach because it’s just too hard Banging head

amother

Navy

Tue, Mar 31 2020, 11:36 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

DH is a doctor. BH not going crazy for him yet, but I can see it might get there.* Lots of hugs, I have seen him go through similar (almost zero sleep, crazy weight gain, no work-life balance) at another point in his career. There wasn't really anything I could do and it took a toll on the whole family. He got a big shock at one point with some scary blood results and decided he needed to get his health back and BH he did.

*Ironically at this point he is working less because all elective surgeries and non-essential clinics have been cancelled. The doctors are split into teams that don't have any interaction to prevent a scenario where the whole department is in quarantine, and they are basically working week-on week-off. The week-on will be straight on-calls, I think.
He isn't treating corona patients yet because it is outside his speciality, but it will probably come to that. (Don't worry, he does have the skills.)

amother

Tue, Mar 31 2020, 11:38 am

simba wrote:

You can buy an at home Doppler.

AAAAACKKKKK_ NOOOOOOOOOOO!!! You have an appt. go to the appt. No at home anything. You want to risk your baby's life or life becuase you tried to monitor at home without any training. If your doctor says come in they are working hard to have you come in. Do NOT FEEL BAD about going to see your doctor.

If you are not feeling fetal movement call your doctor- do not wait.

My post was NOT meant to have anyone feel worried about seeing their doctor. Be confident that your doctor is doing everything in their power to keep you safe and healthy. Do NOT play around with your health or your baby's health.

My post was to see what other doctors are doing with their stress and need for extra coverage to fill in gaps.

amother

Tue, Mar 31 2020, 11:39 am

amother [ Navy ] wrote:

DH is a doctor. BH not going crazy for him yet, but I can see it might get there. Lots of hugs, I have seen him go through similar (almost zero sleep, crazy weight gain, no work-life balance) at another point in his career. There wasn't really anything I could do and it really took a toll on the whole family. He got a real shock at one point with some scary blood results and decided he needed to get his health back and BH he did.

Thank you for sharing. This is what we are going through right now.

amother

Tue, Mar 31 2020, 11:40 am

amother [ Beige ] wrote:

Bsha'ah tova- everyone should be healthy and well.

amother

Tue, Mar 31 2020, 11:42 am

amother [ Lavender ] wrote:

Exactly that point- add to that a type A personality... it's over the top!

amother

Chartreuse

Tue, Mar 31 2020, 11:46 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Thank you. I have other issues that need monitoring via sonogram and bloodwork it's not just about the heartbeat. As long as they don't cancel on me I will go. We have been quarantined 2.5 weeks already. No grocery runs. Anything that gets delivered gets sanitized. I'm taking all the precautions.

amother

Navy

Tue, Mar 31 2020, 11:46 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Wife of a doctor- completely agree. Doctors want to see and help patients! What they don't want is unnecessary burden on the healthcare system from people who don't or shouldn't have needed to be seen.

You have an important appointment (regular antenatal care and monitoring is important) and you should attend - unless you have any symptoms of corona, or have been in contact with someone diagnosed with corona. In which case, call your doctor and ask for guidelines specific to your case.

amother

Navy

Tue, Mar 31 2020, 11:47 am

amother [ Chartreuse ] wrote:

You should definitely go and not at all feel bad.

simba

Tue, Mar 31 2020, 11:51 am

amother [ Chartreuse ] wrote:

Sorry. I did not mean or say that you shouldn't go. It was just general advice for those who feel nervous during pregnancy. I agree that you should go and not feel guilty at all.

Feel good and prayingfor an easy pregnancy, delivery and a healthy baby in the right time.