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Children from Lakewood will not be coming for pesach

 
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amother




OP
 

Post  Wed, Apr 01 2020, 8:38 am
My 26 year old daughter with 3 little kids is making pesach at home. I know it’s the right thing, and I left the decision totally up to them But still it’s hard to process. We are in our 40s with 3 teens at home. How can we help? Is it safe to Offer one of my girls go to her for 2-3 days? Safe to make her food? How else can I help? (Besides money!) How is anybody else coping with being without married children/grandchildren for pesach? My parents decided to stay in Florida and are also Having pesach without anybody.
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amother




Lemon
 

Post  Wed, Apr 01 2020, 8:54 am
I just want to acknowledge that its hard to give up ur well deserved time with ur children/grandchildren and you are allowed to mourn that!
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amother




Bronze
 

Post  Wed, Apr 01 2020, 9:02 am
I'm a 22 year old with 1 kid and making Pesach in Lakewood. My mother is understandably a little disappointed but we all know it's the right thing. She is making me some food - dh will drive in to pick it up from the front porch. Another thing that was helpful was having my father pick up some pesach items that were hard to find here in Lakewood (Hot plate etc ) while he was doing his shopping in NY. Otherwise just support her decision and visit the grandkids when this is all over!
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amother




Burlywood
 

Post  Wed, Apr 01 2020, 9:03 am
I don’t think you should send one of your girls. That defeats the whole purpose of quarantine. Especially if the teenager plans to return to your home for pesach.
Definitely send food!! And maybe some new toys for the kids. The earlier you can send everything the better, you don’t know what the next week will bring. You sounds like a really caring mom.
Your married daughter will be fine, she has a husband to help her make a very simple and halachic pesach. Your pesach will be fine too, you still have some kids at home at your seder.
It was nice of that other poster to feel bad for you. I’m not on that level. So many people I know are going to have yomtov completely alone. Or missing the head of the family who was just there At the head of table on Purim and is not no longer alive Rachmana litzlan.
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amother




cornflower
 

Post  Wed, Apr 01 2020, 9:04 am
amother [ OP ] wrote:
My 26 year old daughter with 3 little kids is making pesach at home. I know it’s the right thing, and I left the decision totally up to them But still it’s hard to process. We are in our 40s with 3 teens at home. How can we help? Is it safe to Offer one of my girls go to her for 2-3 days? Safe to make her food? How else can I help? (Besides money!) How is anybody else coping with being without married children/grandchildren for pesach? My parents decided to stay in Florida and are also Having pesach without anybody.


It's best not to send anyone over to her house, but you can cook for her. Food that is reheated is safe to send. Pathogens are killed during the reheating process.
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imasinger




 
 
 
 

Post  Wed, Apr 01 2020, 9:04 am
I share your pain, my DD and family from Lakewood aren't coming to us either.

Please don't send one of your girls!!!

We've:

- sent money
- shared recipes on request
- gotten pics of grandkids' projects so we could tell them they were wonderful

We don't need to do this in our case, because my DD is pretty confident, but for anyone less confident, I recommend offering reassurance and belief that they'll meet this challenge with flying colors.
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amother




Fuchsia
 

Post  Wed, Apr 01 2020, 9:07 am
Food.

Food is safe to send.
Food doesn’t carry. Packaging need to to handle with gloves. Reheating kills.
I’m 37 with 6 young kids and working full time from home. I’ve been making peach for years and this year is so hard for me.

My mother is sending me food (soup, kugels, cakes). It is an enormous help!!! If you have the basics it makes it so much less stressful.

She lives 3 hrs away. Someone else is driving 1/2 way and meeting and bringing it to town.

Eta: my mother and I have very different pesach minhagim (we have weird ones). My mother is careful to cook my food first and only send food that we eat. I appreciate it so much!
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keym




 
 
 
 

Post  Wed, Apr 01 2020, 9:09 am
I've been making Pesach for years.
But the best support I've gotten from parents/in-laws was a stack of cheap activities to keep my kids busy over the next week. (Coloring books, workbooks, new crayons, cheap cars) and an afikomen present toy that I gave my kids at Licht from Bubby and Zaidy. Also they gave me a small personal gift- I think a new snood.
Not big or expensive, but really appreciated.
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amother




Periwinkle
 

Post  Wed, Apr 01 2020, 3:44 pm
Your such a nice mother for wanting to help
My sister and I always went to my parents for pessach. My sis lives near them . Were a looooong drive away .
But this year we cant go as my grandmother moved in with my parents cos they're the only ones who dont have unmarried kids
My sis kashered her kitchen for the last few years and did some baking and cooking . So this year she will do the same and mom sending over a lot of food
But we cant have food delivered and we never kashered . We didnt even have dishes , pots ... no pessach kitchen
Mom surprised us with a big amount on our bank account!!! Cant thank her enough.
Its very hard on everyone to make pessach this year. Especially for first timers . As the stores are closed and the kids are home
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amother




Azure
 

Post  Wed, Apr 01 2020, 3:51 pm
amother [ Fuchsia ] wrote:
Food.


My mother is sending me food (soup, kugels, cakes). It is an enormous help!!! If you have the basics it makes it so much less stressful.

She lives 3 hrs away. Someone else is driving 1/2 way and meeting and bringing it to town.



Wow. Your mother lives 3 hours away and is sending food?
We never do such fancy sederim that it would be worth people driving hours and hours to pick up food. Your mother (or father) are driving 3 hours (to the meeting point and back) and one of your family members will also be driving 3 hours (there and back) to pick it up. That's a total of 6 hours of driving time.

Your mother must be an amazing cook for it to be worth driving 6 hours to pick up her food!
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amother




Fuchsia
 

Post  Wed, Apr 01 2020, 3:58 pm
amother [ Azure ] wrote:
Wow. Your mother lives 3 hours away and is sending food?
We never do such fancy sederim that it would be worth people driving hours and hours to pick up food. Your mother (or father) are driving 3 hours (to the meeting point and back) and one of your family members will also be driving 3 hours (there and back) to pick it up. That's a total of 6 hours of driving time.

Your mother must be an amazing cook for it to be worth driving 6 hours to pick up her food!


We each drive 3 hrs total A few families are doing it so one driver from each side to help many families.
It’s not just food for sedarim. It’s food the entire yom tov.
And it doesn’t have to be amazing. Just wholesome.

This would save me tons of time I don’t have. I’m working 8+ hrs per day with all my kids home up to right before yom tov. (I’m not the one doing the driving. The one whose DH is driving has 2 week old baby. Her mother is sending yom tov).

2 potato kugels
2 Apple kugels
Kushka
2 vegetable soup
2 blended soups
2 brownies
2 sponge cakes
Meatballs
Eggplant meat rollups
Choc chip cookies
Non gebrokts matzah balls
Treats and games for kids
Plus more

It’s literally lifesaving if all I need to do is roasts and vegetables and Cholent for Shabbos and the entire yom tov is done.

Also when you are from oot 3 hours isn’t bad. We do it all the time round trip in one day to go to my parents for dinner. It’s not a hard drive. My father would do it in a second.
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amother




Azure
 

Post  Wed, Apr 01 2020, 4:06 pm
amother [ Fuchsia ] wrote:

2 potato kugels
2 Apple kugels
Kushka
2 vegetable soup
2 blended soups
2 brownies
2 sponge cakes
Meatballs
Eggplant meat rollups
Choc chip cookies
Non gebrokts matzah balls
Treats and games for kids
Plus more

It’s literally lifesaving if all I need to do is roasts and vegetables and Cholent for Shabbos and the entire yom tov is done.

Also when you are from oot 3 hours isn’t bad. We do it all the time round trip in one day to go to my parents for dinner. It’s not a hard drive. My father would do it in a second.


Three hours is a long drive IMO, but yes I guess it depends what you are used to.
I'm wondering what mother has time to make all that and send it to her dd! I'm assuming she is also cooking for herself, and possibly for another married sibling or two.
It's a full time job and more.
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amother




Fuchsia
 

Post  Wed, Apr 01 2020, 4:11 pm
amother [ Azure ] wrote:
Three hours is a long drive IMO, but yes I guess it depends what you are used to.
I'm wondering what mother has time to make all that and send it to her dd! I'm assuming she is also cooking for herself, and possibly for another married sibling or two.
It's a full time job and more.


I’m super grateful. Don’t get me wrong. My mother is used to cooking for a full house. It’s just her and my father this year. No single kids in the house. She is working part time from her house now and is so happy to do it. She claims it’s filling her time now and she started filling the freezer last week already.
If she can’t get it to me I’m sure she’ll put it to good use.
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amother




Coffee
 

Post  Wed, Apr 01 2020, 4:21 pm
Money! I wish my parents would be thoughtful enough to send money to offset our costs.

Money can help with buying takeout, deliveries, lots of things.

Also be available to guide on halacha and minhagim. There are so many new things to consider when making pesach and the Seder for the first time.

ETA maybe you can help them order the stuff they need, that can be a big headache
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amother




Ivory
 

Post  Wed, Apr 01 2020, 4:35 pm
You can also order toys or something small and nice for the table and ship to their house. Kids/grandkids would be thrilled! Sometimes it's just knowing that you're being thought of that makes all the difference.
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amother




Yellow
 

Post  Wed, Apr 01 2020, 4:37 pm
Op ur a great mom

I have one baby and plan to be home the whole pesach. The only thing my in laws have contributed is terrorizing that we should not dare step foot into a single store or we are risking our lives

Some people really know how to help don't they?

Please moms let ur married kids figure out how to handle these unexpexted difficulties on our own
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amother




Coffee
 

Post  Wed, Apr 01 2020, 4:48 pm
amother [ Yellow ] wrote:
Op ur a great mom

I have one baby and plan to be home the whole pesach. The only thing my in laws have contributed is terrorizing that we should not dare step foot into a single store or we are risking our lives

Some people really know how to help don't they?

Please moms let ur married kids figure out how to handle these unexpexted difficulties on our own

LOL. Or if they care so much, they should make an order themselves and have it sent to their kids.
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amother




Yellow
 

Post  Wed, Apr 01 2020, 4:49 pm
amother [ Coffee ] wrote:
LOL. Or if they care so much, they should make an order themselves and have it sent to their kids.


Not their style..they never actually do anything just take out their anxiety on us
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amother




Red
 

Post  Wed, Apr 01 2020, 4:55 pm
If you do send a daughter , know that she can’t come back so fast. We are sending our daughter, but she is moving in without a time limit. It could be be for 3 or 4 weeks. She is unemployed, and will most likely not have a job after pesach anyhow.
She hasn’t stepped foot out of the house for close to 2 weeks. My dh hasn’t stepped out since purim. Including purim. I go out only for what we need.
We sent food and other supplies. And we will send books and other items for the kids.
Everything was wiped down with bleach or wipes.
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amother




Yellow
 

Post  Wed, Apr 01 2020, 5:42 pm
amother [ Yellow ] wrote:
Op ur a great mom

I have one baby and plan to be home the whole pesach. The only thing my in laws have contributed is terrorizing that we should not dare step foot into a single store or we are risking our lives

Some people really know how to help don't they?

Please moms let ur married kids figure out how to handle these unexpexted difficulties on our own


I want to clarify- I am trying to order online/deliver much more than I every have done before. I will also do without many things if I cant get them online easily ontime. considering that groceries are not delivering much in my neighborhood- or have 5 day waiting time- its difficult to make pesach for the first time without ever stepping into a store
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