Husband not allowing me to go to mikvah

amother

Fri, Apr 03 2020, 1:38 am

So we both had covid19. I still have a little cough but doctor said it can last for weeks. My husband is too afraid for me to go. I'm so upset and feel so hurt that he doesn't want me to go! Anyone else?

amother

Mint

Fri, Apr 03 2020, 1:42 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Your husband is right, you may still be contagious and put other women at risk.

Teomima

Fri, Apr 03 2020, 1:51 am

Of course you shouldn't go! I'm really sorry, I know you were looking for some sympathy here. But this isn't about your husband not wanting to be with you, it's about you potentially putting other people at risk. What if you're still contagious, and you infect the balanit, and she in turn infects other women, who infect their families....the truth is, no one should be going these days, but certainly not someone who was sick with covid-19 and is still experiencing symptoms.

amother

Tan

Fri, Apr 03 2020, 3:13 am

You should not go. You still have a symptom. Your husband is 100% correct.

(And this a perfect example of why I'm NOT going....if the husband would want her to go, she totally would!)

Elfrida

Fri, Apr 03 2020, 3:25 am

It's hard to say. A lingering cough can persist for a long time after other symptoms have resolved, and doesn't necessarily mean that you are still infectious, but without a test one can't be sure.

In Israel anyone who had it has wait five days with no major symptoms, and then be retested twice. If they show two negative tests at 48 hours interval, then they can resume what is currently designated normal life. A mild lingering cough is not considered a main symptom, if there is no shortage of breath. They can be retested if that is the only issue. Is there any way you could be tested again?

amother

Wheat

Fri, Apr 03 2020, 3:52 am

amother [ Tan ] wrote:

You should not go. You still have a symptom. Your husband is 100% correct.

(And this a perfect example of why I'm NOT going....if the husband would want her to go, she totally would!)

If it's any comfort, a mikvah following protocols would ask her about her exposure and illness history BEFORE letting her go.

amother

Mint

Fri, Apr 03 2020, 3:55 am

amother [ Wheat ] wrote:

If it's any comfort, a mikvah following protocols would ask her about her exposure and illness history BEFORE letting her go.

When questioned or confronted, many people will lie, understanding that if they tell the truth they won't be able to do what they want.

FranticFrummie

Fri, Apr 03 2020, 6:27 am

amother [ Mint ] wrote:

When questioned or confronted, many people will lie, understanding that if they tell the truth they won't be able to do what they want.

Especially if not going will have a huge effect on their shalom bayis. Some husbands may be climbing the walls, trapped in a small apartment and desperately wanting to cuddle their wives, pass the salt, or anything else.

OP, it's a really painful position to be in. Please understand that your husband is being responsible, and thinking of other people's health. It's not that he doesn't want you. Respect him for being a mentch, in a time when many other people are still only thinking of themselves.

IYH this will pass soon, and you can make up for lost time as much as you like. Wink

amother

Mint

Fri, Apr 03 2020, 6:36 am

FranticFrummie wrote:

That might hold water - IF people weren't lying about other things as well.

Examples: Going into the ER instead of calling up first, lying to the hospital when you go to deliver, leaving a hospital where you were diagnosed and going to a second hospital and claiming you don't have coronavirus, going into a mall and telling the security guard that you weren't abroad, walking into a supermarket (or toy store, or clothing store) knowing full well you have coronavirus....

This is a lot less about shalom bayis than it is about pure selfishness.

FranticFrummie

Fri, Apr 03 2020, 6:41 am

amother [ Mint ] wrote:

Yeah, NONE of those things are acceptable, by any stretch of the imagination. When I had symptoms, I stayed home until I was sure the very last symptom was gone. Even then, I just ran to the makolet and back, fully masked and gloved just in case.

I got it over 2 months ago, early days. Back then, people told me that I probably just had the flu, and I was over reacting. I was also told that I did not need to be tested. I was told this by Magen David Adom!!! Rolling Eyes

I am so glad I took the "better safe than sorry" route.

shabbatiscoming

Fri, Apr 03 2020, 8:26 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Op, why do you feel hurt that he dorsnt want you to go? He wants to be 100% sure you dont infect anyone else. In my mind this is being very selfless.
Please, dont see this as him not wanting you to go, but for him not wanting you to infect anyone.
Please see how caring your husnand actually is being.

amother

Fri, Apr 03 2020, 11:06 am

OP here,

The reason why I feel hurt is because I got the go ahead from the doctor a week ago that I can go. He said that is just an irritated cough that can last for a while.

shabbatiscoming

Fri, Apr 03 2020, 11:29 am

OP, ah, ok. You didnt tell us that impirtant bit of information Smile

Did you tell that to your husband? How long does he want you to wait? Msybe have him talk to the doctor.

amother

Azure

Fri, Apr 03 2020, 1:04 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

They say the cough can last for a while, go take another test to see if your negative