Feel like crying even though I'm doing right thing

amother

Sun, Apr 05 2020, 5:14 pm

I just had a baby bh. My in laws watched my older kids while I went into labor as I had no other option, baby was a couple weeks early and had no back up plan. Being that my inlaws (who live in my neighborhood) have been with my kids when I was in the hospital yesterday, I am now going to them for pesach since they were already together.
While in the hospital, I got the coronavirus test, mandatory for all patients. It was negative which means my kids are likely negative too.
I know at this point since we were all together its okay for me to go there pesach ( sleeping there).
Im just feeling so so guilty with all the posts about selfish people going away and people calling them rotzeachs and rashas. I just want to cry. Im terrified of all thats going on in the world. And I dont want to make it worse. But at the same time, we are staying in until pesach as are my inlaws ( minus last minute grocery trip).
Can someone make me feel a little less stressed? Im just so down. Im sure its also from the trauma of birth and hormones all.over now

amother

Cerulean

Sun, Apr 05 2020, 5:33 pm

Mazel tov! You just had a baby, cut yourself some slack. You are taking every precaution you can.

I had a pre-pesach baby many years ago and we stayed home, but it was really hard. My hormones were raging, I had another little one besides the baby, and my husband invited guests over for the first days! (Dont ask!) It was a real challenge, but we survived.

We just celebrated his birthday (at home with just our quarantined family) and he has become kh the most wonderful and caring young man who gives us lots of nachas.

You will get through this and have interesting stories to share too. This will be a story to tell your child in the future about their crazy beginning in this crazy world! You have made your choice during a difficult situation, and now just go with it. I think people will understand and if not, oh well.

amother

Mistyrose

Sun, Apr 05 2020, 7:15 pm

amother [ Cerulean ] wrote:

amother

Blush

Sun, Apr 05 2020, 8:17 pm

I'm putting my rain coat on to shield myself from all the tomatoes that will be thrown my way but I sincerely believe that we must use our brains.
The average person who CAN stay home (even if it requires extra energy etc) should. Someone in your situation (or a completely different one but also - not able to make yt at the moment) should go away. That's what Hashem wants from you the same way He wants the rest of the world to stay home.

Feel good and mazal tov!

amother

Mistyrose

Sun, Apr 05 2020, 8:28 pm

amother [ Blush ] wrote:

How do you know what Hashem wants from her? How do you know her mother in law's quick trip to the grocery won't bring something in the house that can be a detriment to a newborn? How does anyone know if ops husband's exposure in the hospital won't cause someone's death even twelve times removed by someone else's in the households trip to the grocery?

Mazal tov op, this may be the only option for your family right now, but why the need for all this validation on a situation that can have many risks? It may be ok or it may not be we don't really know.

amother

Jetblack

Sun, Apr 05 2020, 8:56 pm

There is nothing that is 100 risk free these days being that there is no herd immunity, no vaccine, no effective treatment and she's not in medical isolation with her food prepared for her that way.
So we do the best we can with the information that we have and when the anxiety gets bad, stay off whatsapp and imamother.

amother

Turquoise

Sun, Apr 05 2020, 9:10 pm

amother [ Mistyrose ] wrote:

This is a great post. You pointed out what no one was saying.

amother

Papaya

Sun, Apr 05 2020, 10:03 pm

Ok, this is exactly what call your Dr. Is for. A real situation where it might be sensible. If dh & kids have been staying anyways. Just FYI, some people went to have babies and picked up the virus at the hospital. Iyh you didn't but the person who shops is also possible. I am a huge fan of following the isolation but your situation begs for an individual look. Don't cry, yours is really a different case, not just about people thinking of just themselves.

amother

Tan

Sun, Apr 05 2020, 10:19 pm

Mazal tov. If possible, I think it would be better if someone else shopped for your in laws. I'm sure if she mentions to a friend who is going anyway that there is a newborn and a new mom in the house, they will help. Enjoy your baby!

amother

Red

Mon, Apr 06 2020, 1:10 pm

You just had a baby, you need a chance to recover. You can't get enough rest at home. you are doing the right thing by going to them for Pesach. Nothing is risk free, including birth, and you are managing your risks responsibly. You sound like a great person. Don't worry about it and enjoy yom tov.