Home
Log in / Sign Up
    Private Messages   Advanced Search   Rules   New User Guide   FAQ   Advertise   Contact Us  
Forum -> Parenting our children -> School age children
Selective mutism and relatives who dont understand



Post new topic   Reply to topic View latest: 24h 48h 72h

muminmich




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Apr 17 2020, 9:36 am
DD has selective mutism among other issues (high functioning autism and ADHD too). I've done research and am always working with dd, going to a special expensive CBT and working with the school. I am having major issues with certain relatives who just dont know or care enough to learn about this condition. I feel like I'm majorly struggling and this is making it so much more painful for me. For example my sil said to me a few weeks ago she is 'offended and hurt' that my child doesnt talk to her. When I tried to explain its not just her, she said 'I've seen her talk to some people!' then dd who really likes her kids came over one day after school (we live in walking distance) and sil said to her 'you can only come in if you talk to me.' I tried explaining (again) to my sil why that wouldn't work afterwards but she stuck to her guns saying things like if she can't talk then why is she even leaving your house??! I'm completely fed up. Any advice? (And dont say explain sm because I tried and got nowhere!)
Back to top

groisamomma




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Apr 17 2020, 9:41 am
Time to bid sil farewell until she either grows up or dd's condition improves. She is making things worse and it is likely that being around her will increase dd's anxiety and not help the situation.
Back to top

paperflowers




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Apr 17 2020, 9:47 am
That hurts so much. You know that your sister’s behavior is only going to make it harder for your daughter to speak and she just doesn’t get it! I think you just need to keep your daughter away from those situations until she’s ready. Find yourself people who can be supportive of you.

Another thought, maybe you’ve done this already and maybe it won’t work. You already explained sm to them, they don’t get it. Have you tried giving them specific scripts they can follow? Like instead of telling your sister “asking her to talk make her anxious to a point that she can’t do it” telling your sister the perfect thing she can say is “hi dassi, it’s so good to see you! Malky is in the kitchen, I’ll tell her you’re here to play.” Sometimes people know what not to do but need to be instructed in what to do.
Back to top

muminmich




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Apr 17 2020, 9:56 am
We do fade ins with the CBT and its quite a time commitment. I did ask my sil once if she wanted me to show her how to establish speech with dd but she wasn't interested. She just keeps insisting she's right. There's no apology, no compassion. I get really upset whenever I think about it.
Back to top
Page 1 of 1 Recent Topics




Post new topic   Reply to topic    Forum -> Parenting our children -> School age children

Related Topics Replies Last Post
Camp Maaminim very selective
by amother
12 Yesterday at 5:54 pm View last post
I don't understand megillah
by amother
48 Yesterday at 3:46 am View last post
Trying to understand this...
by amother
7 Mon, Mar 25 2024, 9:57 pm View last post
In hospital now AGAIN. Please help understand
by amother
2 Thu, Feb 29 2024, 10:05 am View last post
What are things you'll never understand?
by amother
108 Mon, Feb 26 2024, 1:27 pm View last post