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singleagain




 
 
 
 

Post Tue, Jan 11 2022, 10:17 pm
If/when I cook I cook simple foods. Comfort foods. I don't like to experiment a ton.

Tell me if there is a specific tefillah to say when baking challah l'ilui neshmat someone who was just niftar
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simcha4




 
 
 
 

Post Tue, Jan 11 2022, 10:21 pm
dankbar wrote:
I have a closet full of clothes but nothing to wear

Tell me about what type of cuisine you cook


I don't like to patchke. Nothing that has an endless list of ingreds. and ingreds. which I can't pronounce or they're not found in the local supermarkets.
In short: only what I know my family likes.

Tell me about which conversation topics you enjoy.
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singleagain




 
 
 
 

Post Tue, Jan 11 2022, 10:30 pm
simcha4 wrote:
That sounds interesting. These people really think the only thing they can control re their day and themselves is their sleep pattern?
Isn't it a bit of a vicious circle? I mean, truly, no person is in control of their life, it is Hashem who totally controls our lives. But Hashem Gave Yidden Bechirah - choice, a Yid can choose how he's going to act in any situation.

The above was just me analyzing your words in my mind. I'm still at it ...

Re that study: don't the participants realize that not sleeping well will give them even less ability to have control over some parts of their lives, b/c they're not functioning properly from lack of sleep?


Yes. It is a vicious cycle. Here is a Wikipedia link with more detail. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/.....ation . The official thing is called bedtime procrastination. Apparently some people who thought they haven't insomnia turns out they had this. I think most people don't even realize that this is what they're doing.
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simcha4




 
 
 
 

Post Tue, Jan 11 2022, 10:47 pm
singleagain wrote:
If/when I cook I cook simple foods. Comfort foods. I don't like to experiment a ton.

Tell me if there is a specific tefillah to say when baking challah l'ilui neshmat someone who was just niftar


Sorry, I unintentionally crossposted "singleagain's" post.
Here it is.
I'm also interested in the answer to her beautiful question.
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happytobemom




 
 
 
 

Post Wed, Jan 12 2022, 12:34 am
singleagain wrote:
If/when I cook I cook simple foods. Comfort foods. I don't like to experiment a ton.

Tell me if there is a specific tefillah to say when baking challah l'ilui neshmat someone who was just niftar

I haven't found any specific tefillos. I would say a regular tefillah for hafrashas challah, and then daven in your own words for the aliyah of his neshama and a lichtege gan eden. Hafrashas challah is an eis ratzon, a special time to daven in any way.
You can also say the letters of the niftar's name from perek 119, and the letters of "neshama" from 119.

Tell me about a special memory of a loved one who is no longer with you.
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singleagain




 
 
 
 

Post Wed, Jan 12 2022, 12:42 am
Thank you for that.

So, my Sabba was just niftar and one of the things I shared was that a few years ago we were burning chametz in my fireplace (like we do) and my Sabba suddenly commented that he doesn't think Santa will come down or chimney anymore. Made me lol and tweet it.

https://twitter.com/morethenth.....;s=19

Oh and his face was always scratchy from stubble


Tell me about a memory that you hold close to you
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happytobemom




 
 
 
 

Post Wed, Jan 12 2022, 1:14 am
singleagain wrote:
Thank you for that.

So, my Sabba was just niftar and one of the things I shared was that a few years ago we were burning chametz in my fireplace (like we do) and my Sabba suddenly commented that he doesn't think Santa will come down or chimney anymore. Made me lol and tweet it.

Tell me about a memory that you hold close to you

Can't open the link (my filter) but I love that!

I was going through a rough time in high school, and one day my principal came to me out of the blue (seemingly) and took me out of school. We got into her car and she went to do some errands! I just went along with her to a couple of stores, and we shmoozed. It was exactly what I needed at that time. I don't know if we discussed anything intense, but she did bring up an answer I had given on a questionnaire that had been given to my class, asked me what made me write what I wrote, gave me the opening I needed to talk about my thoughts and feelings.
A small thing, but something I'll always remember, as it really lifted me out of what was probably depression on some scale to a much better place.
The same principal, when I was going through a physical/medical issue, told me how what I was going through was real yissurim, and really helped me with my outlook on that. That was very validating. And when a year later, a teacher in seminary told me, this is not real suffering, and made me feel so dumb and petty for even sharing with her, I tried to bring back what my HS principal had said. Sure, it was small suffering, but I've learned that just because someone else is suffering more, that doesn't make your suffering nothing. And certainly shouldn't be made to feel that from someone in such a position. (I've found other people to talk to since then!)

Sorry for rambling!

Tell me about a compliment you received in the past that you still remember.
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happytobemom




 
 
 
 

Post Wed, Jan 12 2022, 1:16 am
happytobemom wrote:

Tell me about a compliment you received in the past that you still remember.

Lol just realized how brilliant that is - can you tell me about it if you don't remember it? Smile
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singleagain




 
 
 
 

Post Wed, Jan 12 2022, 1:17 am
happytobemom wrote:
Lol just realized how brilliant that is - can you tell me about it if you don't remember it? Smile


Some people might not remember the actual words said but they'll remember how it made them feel.

ETA. Your principal was wise. And so true. Just bc someone else has it worse, doesn't make your situation go away. And doesn't mean you don't deserve it to be made easy.
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happytobemom




 
 
 
 

Post Wed, Jan 12 2022, 1:33 am
singleagain wrote:
Some people might not remember the actual words said but they'll remember how it made them feel.

ETA. Your principal was wise. And so true. Just bc someone else has it worse, doesn't make your situation go away. And doesn't mean you don't deserve it to be made easy.

Especially from the one in the position of listener. Sure, I can myself try to think of others who are suffering more than me, but to hear that from someone else will only make me feel small and low.
I heard Rabbi Ephraim Wachsman say, someone asked, (prob to a Rebbe, don't remember which one), every bad middah has its equivalent in good. (ex. jealousy vs. kinas sofrim) What can be the good in kefirah? He answered, kefirah is for when someone else is going through a tzara. For myself, I need be strong, trusting... But for others, no preaching emunah or anything. And I see from being in the needy position, I was only changed for the positive when I was validated that I was going through something tough!
Thanx for hearing me out, as always!
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happytobemom




 
 
 
 

Post Wed, Jan 12 2022, 1:40 am
My apologies everyone for derailing this game! But here's why: Smile

simcha4 wrote:
I also love this game... Everyone is so friendly, it's very warm and cozy.
Thank you to all you dear players for creating this atmosphere. May it always continue, iy"H. Smile


Here's my last one:

happytobemom wrote:
Tell me about a compliment you received in the past that you still remember.
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