If you are having a very hard time with quarantine...

amother

Sun, Apr 26 2020, 11:16 pm

I get that this is difficult. But I am curious about those who are having an abnormally hard time with staying home. Those who feel the need to completely ignore the rules or are on the verge of a nervous breakdown. Not the average person who isn’t loving this. Which part of this are you finding so unbearable? I ask, because I sincerely want to understand. Is it because you live in a small space with a lot of people? Is it because of preexisting emotional difficulties? Shalom bayis issues?
(I’d love if this can remain a civil discussion.)

amother

Tangerine

Sun, Apr 26 2020, 11:23 pm

Live in a tiny apt with hub and young child. Our apt only works for us because (previously) we were never in it. Thank Gd I am essential worker so I have a reason to get out daily. I also relish opportunities to go to supermarket etc. Shabbos and Sunday are hardest. I miss gong to shul, I even miss play dates! Sunday’s in our previous life was always a day out doing something different and fun. I’m so bored.

amother

White

Mon, Apr 27 2020, 12:15 am

Tiny tiny tiny apartment with lively little kids who need space to eat and play and run. Husband home all day but unavailable to help since he's working remotely which is harder for me than if he wouldn't be here. Sensory issues so can't handle the constant noise and stimulation. PPD.
Still quarantined though.

amother

Forestgreen

Mon, Apr 27 2020, 12:18 am

The fact that I have a bunch of active boys who cant go out to play. They have a bit of Zoom with cheder, but the rest of time they wanna play games on it (which is really not healthy for any kid to do on a daily basis). Then they have a crazy hard time falling asleep, even after going later....And the cycle continues...
Add in a toddler and pregnant too...

Surrendered

Mon, Apr 27 2020, 12:22 am

I keep thinking about my aunt who lost her DH (a few years ago) and is all alone in her house. Think of All people who Unfortunately lost close ones and sitting quarantined. I think about my brother who's married many many years, sitting alone with his wife, in a tiny apartment.
Bh we have action. We have a house full of kids. Difficult, special needs, hyper kids and typical bored ones.

We need to work to work on being grateful for whatever we do have, though it's excruciatingly hard...

amother

Bisque

Mon, Apr 27 2020, 12:26 am

Husband usually travels for work. Now that he is home he has no clue how to interact with children , calls them lazy, thinks only of himself, calls me names . Makes for a very unpleasant household. However, I haven’t left nor have my kids or husband. We as a couple haven’t spoken in six days but we are lucky that we don’t live in a small house so we are not on top of each other. Point of this is you do not know what goes on behind closed doors.

amother

Oak

Mon, Apr 27 2020, 3:05 am

I feel trapped.
I recently got married and came from an abusive home and I've always been able to go out and do as I pleased. I was always out, on the beach in Tel Aviv, spending house at the mall, at the kosel.

I can't go anywhere now. And everyone around me is so nervous they don't even want to go to a grocery store.

DrMom

Mon, Apr 27 2020, 4:44 am

amother [ Tangerine ] wrote:

Our apt only works for us because (previously) we were never in it.

Something like this. My kids grate on each other's nerves when they are all together. Previously, they were always out and about at after-school activities, school, sports, at friends' homes.

Plus it's hard to juggle my own work with the kids around. I need to concentrate and there is a lot of noise, WiFi is not as strong when we are all using it. Kids' lessons finish more quickly than they would on an ordinary school day, and I am the focal point for all computer issues in the house. Multiple Zoom calls all in parallel, everybody on headsets so we don't disturb anybody. Some Zoom calls take place in the evening, so even after a full day, the other members of the household have to be quiet so as not to disturb anyone.

It's not unbearable, but it is stressful. B"H we have internet and can communicate with friends and family. It would have been much worse 20 or 30 years ago.

Luckily we can get out to exercise a bit. Walking, running, frisbee, soccer (among household members, so it's not enough people to be fun).

FranticFrummie

Mon, Apr 27 2020, 4:55 am

I just want you all to know that in my eyes, you are HEROES! Hug

Even with medication, I am prone to very dark, depressed nights. I binge Netflix to keep the demons at bay. It's not good for me to have too much time to dwell on intrusive thoughts.

I have the opposite problem from most of you - I am totally alone. Without my pets, I don't know what I would do.

I've probably gained at least 10 pounds, just from grazing and sitting around.

My brain is turning to mush, because I am not going to work even one or two days a week.

I am desperately craving a nice, firm hug. Skin starvation is a real thing, and I've always been very affectionate with friends who feel the same way (not everyone likes hugs, I get it.)

amother

Pearl

Mon, Apr 27 2020, 2:16 pm

2 girls, very close in age, complete opposite natures. Older being more to the sensitive side and relaxed while the younger is overpowering and mischievous. They're stepping on each other's toes all day long. Add in a toddler who's very demanding. When they're out in school it's only a half a day with them. I'm losing it being a whole day! On top of that gotta homeschool. My husband helps out alot but works partially bh. Wakes up early so is very tired when he gets home.
I really love them all, thank you Hashem for everything. And please give me koyach.
P.s. wooooof. Having a hard day today and this thread came up. I had to vent. Sorry and thanks for listening.

amother

Burlywood

Mon, Apr 27 2020, 2:47 pm

I also have two opposite kids, who normally don't share a room but need to during this. One cannot be inside all day and needs active people. B"H we have a yard, but she has hyperactivity in a house full off more sedate people, so we are allowing social distancing outdoor interactions with friends, which she is doing appropriately. I also have a special needs teen who has lost most of her supportive professionals and the predictability of her school environment, and a senior with an anxiety disorder who is now afraid to go to seminary next year no matter what happens over the next months. And a dad who lives alone, very far away from me. And my marriage works b"H when we have some space because I am an introvert, but now I have nowhere and no-when to call my own.

amother

Green

Mon, Apr 27 2020, 4:07 pm

My marriage is a complete and total wreck. My house is a shoebox. Husband is completely dysfunctional. Watches all night, sleeps in way past noon. Eats like a pi-. I’m trying to manage my work & kids & toddler. The stress here Is killing me. Despite it all we’ve been quarantining but The results are devastating. Crying

amother

Aubergine

Mon, Apr 27 2020, 4:20 pm

We're managing ok although we're all a little grumpy. It's been raining a lot, so that hasn't helped because we all feel better when we can get outside daily. It's hard to homeschool the little ones but I'm so thankful the bigger ones are fairly independent about keeping up with their schoolwork.

My heart goes out to all the families squished into apartments and to those living alone without nonvirtual interaction. I feel especially bad for the new widows and widowers who lost their spouses to coronavirus and have to remain isolated from everyone who would normally be there to comfort them.