ADHD - new to this - please help me :)

Tue, Apr 28 2020, 10:42 am

Hi all, we have been having trouble with our 8 yr old daughter for a while now, and it seems like a lot of her behavior fits on the ADHD spectrum. We would like to have her evaluated - can someone tell me how that works and refer us to someone good? We are in Lakewood but these days it would be done via phone conference anyway...

Also, I know medication is very controversial - can someone explain to me why, and share your experience with it?

Basically, any guidance is welcome! Smile

And success stories, because we are feeling so down and out of control - none of our normal discipline is working, and she is destroying life in this house.... Sad

Thanks in advance!

Tue, Apr 28 2020, 11:04 am

It worries me too, but I feel like the effects of the suffering she is going through are much more concerning, as well as the effects on the relationship with the whole family. I hate to say it, but right now it is soooo hard to be around here - there is so much noise, fighting, screaming, wherever she goes, that I just want to be away from her....And she doesn't deserve that - she is a little girl who needs a Mommy - so whatever we can do to help we will do....

Modifying diet she won't do, she only eats a handful of stuff and will not touch anything else even under gunpoint. Seriously. We have tried feeding therapy several times, bribing, etc. Is permanently on Miralax because of this....Same for supplements, unless I can sneak them somehow...

mha3484

Tue, Apr 28 2020, 11:17 am

I have a 9 year old son with pretty severe adhd. We have tried a lot of stuff and are at a pretty good place these days bli ayin hara. I am a big fan of doing a full eval. It gave us a clear picture of his strengths and weaknesses so we don't waste money on interventions that are not needed. I don't know how it can be done over the phone. Its a series of assessments that need to be conducted in person.

I think the three things that have helped my son the most are 1) medication. For us a combo of two non stimulants and some nutritional supplements have worked wonders 2) therapy and 3) parenting using a method called collaborative problem solving.

amother

Azure

Tue, Apr 28 2020, 11:44 am

Try to find a dr that works with your child, not according to what the book says
My dc was diagnosed in Europe and we tweeked and tried the dosage, and he needed very little to help him, but still keep his personality.
When I moved to the usa, I wad a greener in regards to dr's and the one recommended couldn't agree to thr dosage as it wasn't according to his weight/age. He gave him a much bigger dosage and they came with a lot of other problems, which he than tried to prescribe more abd different instead of fixing the problem
By now he's of everything. He's out of yeshiva, so he doesn't need so much focus.

On the bright side, kids/people with ADHD are the most accomplished people. They manage to do so much more than any other one.
Mu principal once said, a, shud they have to go to school.... It's sometimes only the school that needs them to go on medication...
Hatsluche, and shep nachas

amother

Taupe

Tue, Apr 28 2020, 1:52 pm

LO wrote:

It seems you're very perceptive, and correct in noting that there are serious long term repercussions to NOT treating intensively. Medication does not need to be forever (and even if it is, if it's necessary for optimal function then it's a bracha regardless). I say this based on personal and professional experience.

lilies

Tue, Apr 28 2020, 2:06 pm

LO wrote:

Beyond Consequences, Logic, and Control: A Love-Based Approach to Helping Attachment-Challenged Children With Severe Behaviors.

I cannot recommend this book enough for these situations. It will help you separate your relationship with your child, from the behavior.
Also, please get yourself support!

rkade10

Wed, Apr 29 2020, 2:31 am

lilies wrote:

I’m not the OP but I have a challenging 5yo DD with attention issues and what she describes sounds really familiar Sad

I just looked up this book on Amazon and if I’m not mistaken it looks to address situations where there is a severe attachment disruption in the child’s background like foster care or adoption? Is it helpful for “regular” challenging children in a mostly typical family framework?

After seeing it on the forums here, I read the nurtured heart book and found it went a long way toward helping me parent better in the way she needs to hear.

amother

Silver

Sun, May 10 2020, 11:35 pm

LO wrote:

adhd plus food restriction sounds like it could be pandas. Addressing that may help you avoid the need for psychotropic medication

thriver

Mon, May 11 2020, 8:00 am

amother [ Pink ] wrote:

Hi, pharmacist here! Please please please reconsider Miralax!! It’s fda approved for 17 and older (doctors give to pediatric patients anyway Rolling Eyes

) and it’s known to cause neurological side effects such as aggression and other impulsive behaviors.

You really don’t want to mask symptoms with medications.

Also ADHD medications alters brain chemistry as was previously posted, stunts growth, and affects memory as well as the heart.
Look into more natural approaches and definitely take away the miralax.

We have used both Mirilax and medicine to treat ADHD for my almost twelve year old son. I am not impressed by an anonymous pharmacist. My son is a different child. We are located in Boston and have top doctors here and our Harvard trained pediatrician, as well as our pediatric ADHD specialist MD have approved use of both.

My son has been taking medicine for his ADHD for almost six years now. He is currently taking focalin for his ADHD twice a day because his metabolism is speedy! It helps him tremendously!! He is able to learn properly, be a mentsch— It does not take away from his personality, just helps him to be less impulsive. If we miss a dose accidentally and he acts out, he tells me, “it’s not my fault... you didn’t give me my second pill!” 😆

The side effects we’ve experienced are the decrease in appetite which is a big one (he is already on the smaller side)... but we work harder with him to encourage him to eat and try to focus more on breakfast (pre-dose number one) and supper (when it’s already wearing off). These days, when he is home, it’s been wonderful that we can actually monitor his eating throughout the day and make sure he eats lunch (when school was in regular session, his lunch would come home untouched). He never lost his appetite for snacks though—and I invested in high protein snacks (Nugo bars have been wonderful for him).

Bedtime also became more challenging but we found (as encouraged by his doctor) that keeping him on a schedule and using melatonin, has helped tremendously.

Overall, the benefits outweigh the risks, and we’ve been able to work with the risks to make them almost irrelevant.

It may take some tweaking with the medicine to figure out the right dose but IyH once you do, your child can be helped tremendously. Work with a capable responsible doctor and you should be fine.

In terms of evaluation: Malky Zacharowicz, PsyD is brilliant. She was a professor of mine in Touro College and I know of someone who used her to evaluate her child. She has brilliant insights and is a pleasure to work with.

Hatzlacha in your journey to do what is best for your daughter! The power of tefilah goes a long way.

Feel free to PM me if I can be of further help.

amother

Pink

Mon, May 11 2020, 8:57 am

thriver wrote:

[quote]

You don’t have to agree with me. I’m not here to tell you what you want to hear. Yes with medicine you will see a drastic change and a quick one for that matter. My point is and always will be that miralax can cause the impulsivity that presents as ADHD or aggravate those symptoms at the very least. At that point, all that is being done is creating a domino effect where one medication leads to another side effect that will result in more medications and more side effects.
OP, I agree that prayer is a big player here. If you can be patient and find other approaches that work for you and your family and do plenty of research on natural methods maybe you will achieve the same results in a way that enables your child and gives them coping strategies without changing their brain chemistry.

amother

Blonde

Mon, May 11 2020, 9:10 am

amother [ Silver ] wrote:

adhd plus food restriction sounds like it could be pandas. Addressing that may help you avoid the need for psychotropic medication

This was my first thought!
Speaking as a mother with a PANDAS child.
We also thought it was ADHD especially because I have a few siblings with ADHD. The child therapist actually suggested ASD. But with treatment, almost all of it went away. Bh. Its still a journey.

And also about the mirilax. I've given it to my other kid before I knew of the neurological side effects the effects came on suddenly and strong. I stopped it because she refused to drink it. Only later I realized what happened.

Please read the book "Curing My Child With Food" before you go down the meds route.

A little omega 3 and omega 6 has made an huge differenve with my (non panda) dd who is very impulsive, often aggressive, and a terrible picky eater.
I have no doubt if I have her evaluated that she will get an ADHD diagnosis. (It runs in my family. Together with extreme brilliance and LD. Go figure. Lol)

amother

Silver

Mon, May 11 2020, 10:26 pm

amother [ Blonde ] wrote:

curing your child with food is great, I love finally focused by dr James greenblatt for adhd, totally doable interventions that will address root causes and even has a section for the safest ways to do medication if you must. But the picky eating makes me think there’s more going on than just ocd, and very often the emotional disregulation and rages and literal hyperactivity that come along with pandas get misdiagnosed as adhd.