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My almost 3-yo is out of control stubborn - HELP!

 
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amother




OP
 

Post  Wed, Apr 29 2020, 1:18 am
My son will be 3 in the summer IY"H. Until 2, maybe 2.5 he was soooooo sweet. He always helped and never hit. He is the middle child.

I don't know what happened, but he became Mr. Independent and now is a tyrant. It got worse since stay-at-home started.

He doesn't let me change his diaper, only when "he lets". He'll run away from me and if I manage to actually change it, he'll pull it off (and no, he's not ready for toilet training - we tried).

He doesn't like to get dressed and has figured out how to take of his pants and shirt. He'll run away from me when I try to dress him. Today, he wanted to go outside without a shirt. I put one on him and he was able to get his head out but not his arms. He screamed for an hour till I finally gave up and let him go outside shirtless.

He refuses to sit in his booster seat, but he's short and makes a mess because he can't really reach the table.

He says things like "Open this door right now!" or "I want you to read to me right now!" all day long.

I don't know what to do and I'm so sad that I lost my sweet boy. I want him to listen to me again.


All advice welcome.
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amother




Crimson
 

Post  Wed, Apr 29 2020, 2:41 am
Give him choices that you're happy with, let him pick out his own clothes, basically give him some control/independence over his daily life. I'm not saying let him run wild but options that you would otherwise be happy with. Do you want to wear your blue shirt or your red shirt? Do you want eggs for breakfast or cereal? Stuff like that.

The demanding you do things, "right now" thing, you can try, "boys who ask nicely get ___." Or if you're busy because who isn't haha he can learn how to wait.
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Success10




 
 
 
 

Post  Wed, Apr 29 2020, 4:48 am
Soooo normal!!! I know it's so hard, going through the same with my 2.5 yo. But he's not my first and I know it passes. It's just part of him developing his own identity. I think it helps to know that it passes, just try to remain patient and give him as much choice as possible (I'm not saying I do that....)
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cinnamon




 
 
 
 

Post  Wed, Apr 29 2020, 5:16 am
Soo hard!
My three year old is like that to and it's driving all of us nuts.
My older kids were so much easier...

Sorry. No advice. I do my best not to lose it and take lots of 'mommy time outs'. It's helpful that I can ask my older kids to watch him when I'm at the end of my rope. I don't know if you can. Maybe you're dh if he's around?
I'm just davening he grows out of it. I can deal with a three year old tyrant since it's more or less age appropriate but he better not be like this at five or seven. (I bet it'll be fun when he becomes a teenager...)
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Catcher




 
 
 
 

Post  Wed, Apr 29 2020, 7:25 am
Sounds like a normal toddler to me....
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FranticFrummie




 
 
 
 

Post  Wed, Apr 29 2020, 11:13 am
This is probably not comforting, but they call this the Terrible Twos for a reason.

DD didn't get to this stage until she was 4, and it was 100 times worse! She was fully articulate, fast, strong, and stubborn as a goat. Every day was a battle, and I swear it's a miracle we both made it out alive.

Her first day of kindergarten I did a big happy-dance all over the house. Her personality completely changed, and she was a wonderful kid again.

It sounds to me like you have a healthy, independent, and intelligent little guy on your hands. He probably needs a lot more stimulation and exercise than other kids. More walks around the block, more art projects, more mommy time. It's going to be very draining to meet all his needs, but it's still better than all the tantrums going on.

You are going to be picking and choosing your battles on a daily basis, and making compromises you never thought you would. All of your parenting goals are going to fly out the window. Please know that THIS DOES NOT MAKE YOU A BAD MOTHER!

Let him go shirtless, if he'll let you change his diaper. Let him take it off, if he'll let you put on a new one. Let him wear big boy panties, if he'll come to you as soon as he needs to be changed. Let him play in the mud, if he'll agree to have a bath before dinner. Put down a plastic sheet, and let him sit on the floor to eat - I promise he won't be doing this when he's married. It's just a phase.

In other words, let him do as much as you can stomach, but make sure you get some compliance out of him in return. Everything has to be a transaction, and hopefully you'll come out with the better end of the deal.
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