She’s not handling this prolonged lockdown

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Forum -> Parenting our children -> Teenagers and Older children

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amother

Wed, Apr 29 2020, 10:14 pm

And is taking it out on everyone around her....us!!!

Dd age 16 is usually a happy go lucky fun loving and calm relaxed. She’s very polpular, always on the phone, going out with friends. Is also super helpful at home, offering to help in the kitchen gives me a hand by bed time.

The past week she’s been a nightmare. She misses her social life like crazy. Her school started their long distance learning which they haven’t been on top of until now. It’s 7 hours daily of phone lectures where she listens and sits and takes notes. She shares a room with a little sister and she’s bickering with her all day. The yelling that comes from their room is enough to call child services. Today she was holed up in her room doing her work, didn’t see her all day. If any of the kids make noise outside the room shes in the she starts going nuts, yelling at everybody. She doesn’t seem to have downtime, forget about helping out at all.

Dh and I told her we understand it’s hard to be out of school, without her friends, but she needs to accept the situation as it is and deal with it. Yelling at her parents and siblings won’t get her out of the house, it will just make life more miserable for everyone. She does try to go on walks but the weather needs to work out and she needs the time.

How do I deal with this? It’s wreaking havoc on an otherwise chaotic but peaceful household.

amother

Silver

Wed, Apr 29 2020, 10:46 pm

Make sure she has enough personal space. When she does her schoolwork, she should have the room for herself. Would she be interested in an age appropriate craft or project to keep her busy? Is there a hobby she'd like to pursue? It's a good way to destress.
Try to encourage her to go out every day even if the weather isn't so nice. Brisk walking, running and bike riding are a great way to let off steam.

amother

Periwinkle

Wed, Apr 29 2020, 11:03 pm

Similar situation here. Oldest DD is 17 and acting the same way as yours'. A large part of issue is her anger at missing the end of her senior year which is the best part of high school :-( :-( There is a lot of anger and I barely see her (do hear the yelling, though)

My next is 15 and has the exact same difficult phone school schedule. She isn't yelling and losing it quite as much but is overwhelmed. Do the schools not realize that sitting on the phone listening to lectures all day and THEN hours of homework and taking tests in the evening isn't doable? These girls are cracking up. It's many more hours of work than actual school. They are barely sleeping.

amother

Silver

Wed, Apr 29 2020, 11:08 pm

amother [ Periwinkle ] wrote:

My girls don't do all classes. It's impossible. It takes all day. They need time to breathe.

agreer

Wed, Apr 29 2020, 11:22 pm

Definitely don't force her to do all 7 hours. That's a lot.

amother

Lawngreen

Wed, Apr 29 2020, 11:25 pm

Sounds like my 12 year old last year. (We do online school regularly.) It was a disaster. I was going to send her to board at a school in a different city this year, but it fell through in the end. I was petrified that we'd have a repeat performance, but thankfully she's been doing pretty well this year.

I don't have much advice, but you certainly have my sympathy!

asmileaday

Thu, Apr 30 2020, 12:00 am

Oh gosh 7 hours of phone lessons? That alone is enough to drive you insane.
No advice I'm just glad I'm not in school anymore!

HonesttoGod

Thu, Apr 30 2020, 12:03 am

Wow! 7 hours is intense!!
She needs to take a break. Make up
With a friend that one will take one class the other another and swap notes.
And take walks! Get out the room and breath.

But yes we’re all struggling it’s rough.