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Forum -> Chinuch, Education & Schooling
Teenage daughters dislike davening



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amother
OP


 

Post Sun, May 03 2020, 12:24 pm
My Teen daughters (13,15) rarely daven at home. I always found davening challenging for myself so I don’t make such a big deal about it. Here and there I’ll throw out a reminder or encourage them to do just Brachos. My husband is extremely bothered by it. It’s not something he struggles with so he can’t understand it. Would love to hear other people’s thoughts on the subject.
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shabbatiscoming




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, May 03 2020, 12:28 pm
Let them be and hopefully they will come back to it on their own.
Never force, tell your husband that. If one is forced, it will end badly.
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amother
Lemon


 

Post Sun, May 03 2020, 12:33 pm
As one who was also like that, I reitterate your gut instinct and shabiscoming post. Let it be.
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amother
Amethyst


 

Post Sun, May 03 2020, 12:44 pm
Normal. I barely davened until seminary. I think it was a maturity thing
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amother
Violet


 

Post Sun, May 03 2020, 1:04 pm
I didn't daven until it was explained to me how davening will affect my day, why davening is set up the way it is, and what the minimum requirements of davening are for women. That was in my late 20s.

Your DH should be made aware that davening is a struggle for many men and women of all ages. Your daughters should be encouraged in their davening, but ideally YOU should be an example by working on your own davening, and it should trickle down.

Either way, pressuring them or disciplining them about it will likely backfire.
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amother
Babypink


 

Post Sun, May 03 2020, 1:10 pm
I told my girls that each day they need to speak to Hashem. And they need to do shevach, bakashah and hodaah. I don't usually mention if I know they're not davening, but I couch it as for the future: there will be a day or time that you won't have time to daven from a siddur, and whenever you can't, this is what you say. And why it's good. And that you can ask for absolutely anything, and gratitude and recognizing good is always a good thing.
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amother
Black


 

Post Sun, May 03 2020, 1:18 pm
Don't force them to daven because they will resent it more. I have a hard time davening, I talk to hashem throughout the day and daven in my own words. But my rule is that brachos and tehillim are a must every day.
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amother
Pumpkin


 

Post Sun, May 03 2020, 2:09 pm
I’m still not a davener
I gave some kids that are naturally and some that never do
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amother
Red


 

Post Sun, May 03 2020, 2:21 pm
I didnt daven ever till I was under the chupa... literally. My mother nagged me and I mumbled gibberish.
I now bh daven daily. My kids see
I have 4 teenage girls bh and the oldest 2 now daven daily too. Started with the oldest when she was 18..next one begun at 17. Waiting for my 15 and 13 to join iyh.
meantime I daven and they see.
We sing kabalat shabbat every friday night. And shabbat morn (and now every couple of days as they are home) I suggest davening brachot and shema.
I dont push at all.
If my daughter is nervous for an exam I suggest she say some tehillim bf the exam.
I regularly talk to hashem aloud...infront of the kids
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amother
Cyan


 

Post Sun, May 03 2020, 2:34 pm
Do not force davening. Model it yourself and just show love and warmth and how happy you are and feel to be an observant Jew. That is the only thing you could do to encourage davening
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amother
Copper


 

Post Sun, May 03 2020, 5:32 pm
Another non davener here. I'd rather say tehilim. I don't know what I have against it. I never understood the chashivas of it and therefore I don't bother with it. I don't understand half of what I'm saying anyway.
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amother
Wheat


 

Post Sun, May 03 2020, 5:42 pm
I don't daven and I really think it's because my mom nagged me about it growing up
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amother
Hotpink


 

Post Sun, May 03 2020, 8:10 pm
davening like everything in life comes easily for some and hard for others.

I can daven and feel connected to hashem when I am in shul. But can barely daven at home.

Hope posters only give you positive insight without making you feel guilty.

If you cannot model davening, do not model. You should also be who YOU are.
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realsilver




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, May 03 2020, 8:29 pm
I hated davening as a girl and was given a lot of consequences by my parents.
u can't go out shopping Sunday morning if you don't daven, and
You can't come to the shabbos table untill you daven.
And even if I did daven it was never in front of my father so he shouldn't have satisfaction from seeing it. (lol such a teen)
Untill today It is a huge huge struggle for me to take out a siddur and daven, and I crave for the connection to hashem. Its such a pity, I really want to but somethings holding me back.
On the other hand my husband grew up with his father not saying a word about davening or gg to shul- and I see the outcome. He's in shul at 6:30 for davening every morning, and he finishes tehillim once a week.
Like other posters said- please don't force it on your children! Nothing good could come out of it!!
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