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What chores are expected of kids?

 
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happy chick




 
 
 
 

Post  Fri, May 08 2020, 4:37 pm
I feel dh expects too much from my kids. What type of chores are age appropriate for 10 , 9 and 8 yr old?
Washing dishes
Folding/putting away laundry
Sweeping/vacuuming/mopping
Washing bathrooms
Clearing table
Clean your room! (That statement is a bit too broad)
Bathing younger kids
Holding baby
What else is age appropriate?
I'd like to hear your thought, please.


Last edited by happy chick on Fri, May 08 2020, 4:49 pm; edited 1 time in total
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notshanarishona




 
 
 
 

Post  Fri, May 08 2020, 4:47 pm
happy chick wrote:
I feel dh expects too much from my kids. What type of chores are age appropriate for 10 , 9 and 8 yr old?
Washing dishes
Folding/putting away laundry
Sweeping/vacuuming/mopping
Washing bathrooms
Clearing table
Clean your room! (That statement is a bit too broad)
Bathing younger kids
Holding baby
I'd like to hear your thought, please.

I would say for an 8-9 year old 10-15 minutes a day including cleaning up after themselves. Clearing off the table is a normal chore for a young child, sweeping/ mopping I would leave for a teenager.
I definitely would not expect kids to clean the bathroom unless they purposefully made the mess.
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amother




Slategray
 

Post  Fri, May 08 2020, 4:49 pm
my 10 year old is expected to clear off her place setting after every meal, set the table for shabbos, clean her own room, do her own laundry (that was due to her always complaining she didn't have clothing even though they were hanging in her closet. she doesn't really look and then complains so I told her I'm done, she can take over) and helps out with other things, sometimes unloads dishwasher, sometimes makes simple dinner, or slices vegetables, sometimes watches toddler... Today she decided she wanted to give toddler a bath so she did for the first time.

she lives here, she cleans up after herself and is a team member of the family. I think the parents should be in charge and responsible but it's good for kids to help out, more and more as they get older.

Trust me usually she is playing, hardly a slave Smile
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amother




cornflower
 

Post  Fri, May 08 2020, 4:51 pm
Its more about the amount of time expected than the specific chore. Online they're lots of lists of chores by age range that's appropriate. I always let the kids choose the ones they enjoyed doing most. The main point is they learn to contribute & have responsibility.
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amother




Seashell
 

Post  Fri, May 08 2020, 4:51 pm
6 year old:

- Cleans room - all toys need to have "homes," garbage needs to be in the garbage can, bed made, folds and puts away his own clothes in drawer neatly or hung up in wardrobe, books on bookshelves. Basically the floor needs to be clear and everything put away in it's proper place and not just carelessly thrown and the bed made, rugs straightened so no one trips.

- Helping with the dusting - mainly bookshelves, taking books off, dusting and replacing. I start at the top, he starts at the bottom and we meet in the middle-ish. - paid

- Setting and clearing the table

- Making sure all of the animals are fed and have water - paid for the cats but not his dog

- Cleaning the sinks - kitchen and the two bathrooms

- Wiping down the counters

- Cleaning the baseboards - paid

- Making sure his own laundry makes it to the laundry room on wash days

- Watering plants - paid

- Cleaning fingerprints off refrigerator - paid

- Making his own breakfast, lunch, and snacks. Sometimes he'll ask me to do it but usually he just likes doing it on his own.

and just the general, putting things away/cleaning up messes he makes, etc

These aren't all every day things, we're not complete monsters, at most he does like 2 things a day and some of them he gets paid for and others are just part of teaching responsibility and being part of a family. Everyone has their own list that we rotate through throughout the week. He gets paid weekly and has a bank with three separate slots, one for saving, one for spending, and one for tzedakah so he learns how to manage his own money.
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amother




Sapphire
 

Post  Fri, May 08 2020, 4:59 pm
happy chick wrote:
I feel dh expects too much from my kids. What type of chores are age appropriate for 10 , 9 and 8 yr old?
Washing dishes
Folding/putting away laundry
Sweeping/vacuuming/mopping
Washing bathrooms
Clearing table
Clean your room! (That statement is a bit too broad)
Bathing younger kids
Holding baby
What else is age appropriate?
I'd like to hear your thought, please.



Clear the table
Dry dishes
Straighten up their room
Put away their own laundry
Hold baby
Maybe supervise preschool bath time
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DVOM




 
 
 
 

Post  Fri, May 08 2020, 5:22 pm
We don't have specific chores, per se. It's more about what's expected from the kids so that the day runs smoothly.

My boys are 11, 9,7&5. Everyone is expected to get dressed when they wake up, put their laundry in the hamper, make their beds. I've been loving staying in bed late (between 9:30-10) now that no one has to rush out in the morning, so they come down when they're ready, come into my room to say hi, and help themselves to breakfast. If the two younger boys want something cooked (like pita pizza or cocoa) the big boys help them. They all clean up their own places after meals. We organized everyone's phones, chargers, books, pencils, and papers into baskets at the start of quarentine, so everyone is in charge of taking out, doing, and putting away their own work, including keeping their phones charged. They're also very independent with getting into PJs and putting the days laundry away. Toys are put away by the kids who took them out. Our biggest messes lately have been baking messes and craft messes. Mr. 11 & 9 can bake independently and they're good about washing up dishes they use, but the counters, floor (sometimes ceiling and windows!) tend to need a more thorough wipe down afterwards. Same goes for looong craft sessions where every art supply we own is taken out and sifted through. They can and will help me clean it up, but cant sort it all out on their own. I can ask my 11 or 9 year old to watch the littler boys on the trampoline for an hour, or play a game with them if I need some quiet time. Heavy cleaning like running loads of laundry, sweeping and mopping, bathrooms, my husband or I take care of.
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amother




Crimson
 

Post  Fri, May 08 2020, 6:22 pm
Since school at home started with no cleaning lady I’ve been giving out daily schedules chores.
For kids 13-8:

Clear off surfaces - tables, buffets, desks, couch.
Sweep
Clean up toys
Vacuum
Help fold laundry (I do it with them so it’s fun)
Mop
Clean up stuff dumped on step landing

4 yr old:
Pick up toys
Wipe down kitchen table


Daily jobs don’t take longer then 10 -15 min.

For Shabbos I give out Multiple jobs to get house in order for Shabbos.

I don’t like giving them bathroom or kitchen cleaning jobs. They do mop and wipe down mirrors.
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thunderstorm




 
 
 
 

Post  Fri, May 08 2020, 6:28 pm
My 9 yr old does the following:

Dust furniture
Sprays windex and cleans windows , mirrors and glass doors
Set up my lecht
Sets the table for Shabbos
Empty’s the washing machine and puts the clothes in the dryer and turns the dryer on
Brings hampers down to the laundry room
Straightened up the porch from toys and whatever kids left behind
Puts his folded laundry in his drawers
Straightens his room to the best of his ability (usually needs help)

He does not do this all in one day. He usually can’t handle more than two or three chores in one day.

When I have a privilege like , cookie decorating being offered , he’s willing to work harder.
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amother




Wine
 

Post  Fri, May 08 2020, 7:05 pm
My ten - fourteen year old kids do the following now that we don’t have cleaning help -
Clean room and make beds
Help cook for shabbos (I’m pregnant and can’t go near many foods these days so kids and hub do it all if they want food!)
Lights before shabbos
Clear dining room table and windex before shabbos
Set and help clear table
Overall putting things away as needed, when asked
Sweep floor
Take out garbage
I’m sure there’s lots more they can do, but that’s mostly what I’ve been needing help with these days

I actually just asked them the other day to dust the blinds (they can do one room a day), but I have a feeling it hasn’t yet been started.. have to follow up.. thanks for the reminder Very Happy

I’m reading your list and it sounds like a lot for such little kids, personally... I never really made my little kids do much in general, but now that they’re older and I don’t have my usual cleaning help, I felt they could step up and it works for us!
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Aylat




 
 
 
 

Post  Sat, May 09 2020, 3:14 pm
Our kids 6-14 have a rotation of nightly chores. Each week they do one of: unload/reload the dishwasher, clear and clean island (family eating and activity space), tidy lounge, sweep kitchen and lounge, empty bins and recycling. They don't normally do it independently but need nagging and a bit of help. They also have erev shabbat jobs which they get to pick, can be either cooking or cleaning. DS10 normally cleans the bathroom, DS9 likes to help make shnitzel.
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Success10




 
 
 
 

Post  Sat, May 09 2020, 3:44 pm
Do you folks have a rewards system or something? My kids have no chores, other than maybe cleaning up something that they took out.
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Rappel




 
 
 
 

Post  Sat, May 09 2020, 4:10 pm
My 4 and 2.5 year-olds are expected to:

Put their laundry in the laundry basket
Put their trash in the trash bin
Put away their toys after they play with them before they take out a new toy


For fun, we mop and sweep together, put away laundry together, frequently cook/make salads together, set the table together, feed the animals together, put away the groceries together etc. But these are games with imma/abba, not chores.


I think it's legitimate to expect some responsibility in the home from your children. We're already trying to teach them to respect and appreciate themselves, others, and all of Hashem's creation. What better way to do so?
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Shuly




 
 
 
 

Post  Sat, May 09 2020, 5:44 pm
Until age 6 - clean up their toys, put their dirty clothing in the hamper. They love to spray and clean the windows but that's a game and not a job.

Age 7-8 - (in addition to above) put away their folded laundry, clear and set table, hold/feed the baby, spray and wipe down the table.

Ages 9-11 - fold their laundry, strip the linen from their beds, cut up a salad, bake, sweep/wash the floor, dry dishes, polish silver, walk to the grocery store down the block and do basic shopping.

They don't wash dishes as I don't think they do a good enough job and they don't do laundry or clean bathrooms.
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amother




Amber
 

Post  Sat, May 09 2020, 7:30 pm
So I had full time cleaning help before this whole lockdown started and my kids never did anything, so now everything is exciting.
Washing dishes - everyone from the four year old an up can do. I do the pots and any big stuff
Laundry - apparently this is exciting for them. They love sorting the clothes, putting in the washing machine, and switching it on (who gets to pour in the detergent is always a fight) they can also transfer to the dryer and switch it on.
Cleaning up after themselves is something I've started now, either at meals or after playing.
Sweeping is the most fun, no idea why, it's not so well swept when they are finished but improving.
My husband cleans the toilets and the kids literally fight to do it with him, I have no idea how he managed to make it such a sought after job.
Some things I just tell them as they go, if the garbage is full I usually ask one of them to empty, very rarely is it an official job to do any of these things.
They help.the most on Friday and motzai shabbos I usually set a timer for them to tidy the toys and when it's clean they can watch a video.
My kids are 10, 8, 6 and 4 ( and 1, but she just adds to the mess)
I don't make it an official job, when I need something done I ask, sometimes they'll say that they already helped that day so I'll ask someone else
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amother




Amber
 

Post  Sat, May 09 2020, 7:32 pm
From the six year old and up they can all put away their folded laundry.
I found when I relaxed my standards and it didn't have to be perfect, the kids feel like it's more a game than a chore
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amother




cornflower
 

Post  Sat, May 09 2020, 10:15 pm
No, no rewards system. I thought long and hard about this. Researched. They get appreciated. Thanked.

I also do allowence not tied to chores at all. That is to teach money management.
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amother




Fuchsia
 

Post  Sat, May 09 2020, 10:42 pm
I have an 8 yo and a 10 yo. No pay, though they would live to be paid. But I say we're a family, and we ask do our part.

Washing dishes- no, I don't trust them.

Folding/putting away laundry- yes. They hate it.I

Sweeping/vacuuming/mopping- absolutely. Not all the time, though.
But one of them sweeps and cleans up the DR and LR every day. They are bribed without money- like if they clean up LR and DR fast, can ride bikes with Tatty.

Washing bathrooms- no, though I beg my sons to use Clorox wipes if there is a need

Clearing table- that's cleaning up the DR

Clean your room! (That statement is a bit too broad)- Yes. I help them and put things back in order every few weeks when the pigsty is too much for me.

Bathing younger kids- Yes my daughter who is 8 watches her 3 yo sister in bath (I wouldn't have opposite gender, and a not too young and not too old bathee -probably only ages 2-4)

Holding baby- yes. They love the baby, but hate being assistant mommies Sad

What else is age appropriate?

Watching younger siblings

Serving themselves and siblings breakfast, (cereal and milk)while I stay in bed

Helping cook. This is very exciting to my kids. My son (10) makes potato kugel (most of the steps by himself), and Apple kugel (himself with a little input) my daughter (8) makes duncan Hines cake, choc chip cookies, and israeli salad (herself with little input)
Son likes peeling

Set table for shabbos my 5 yo son does
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seeker




 
 
 
 

Post  Sun, May 10 2020, 1:33 am
Mine are 7 and 9.

I mostly don't have a list of specific chores, I just have an expectation that they will participate in their own upkeep and not leave too much of a wake behind them. And once there's something they're as capable of doing as I am, there's no reason I should be the only one doing it.

We don't have a rigid chore schedule, it has more to do with everyone's availability. If it's been a busy day, I'll be the one to do more rather than pressure the kids.

Off the top of my head, things I ask them to do:
Help set and clear the table before/after meals
Help put away clean laundry (we don't have a machine in our apt so I do the actual washing)
Putting away the things they have used. Toys I let go until I start to feel crazy from it, because they do play games that extend over days...weeks...eons (e.g. lego mentchie town setup situation. Are we ever going to get the dust out of legos that have been out for months?)
Sweeping (they don't do a great job but it's good training and better than nothing?!) and swiffering (much easier to not get this one wrong)
Periodically when things get disorderly I make them look around and find which things they've forgotten to put away.
They have full responsibility over their own private spaces, so if they can't get their drawer closed or find their junk they know they'd better get organized because I'm not getting involved. I don't view that as a chore, it's their business, not helpful to the family per se.
For erev Shabbos they also clean the table and set it up with tablecloth and candles, and tear toilet paper and paper towels (once every few weeks)

Washing dishes and cooking/baking I let them help with because they like to and because I think it's good practice for them, but that's not actually helpful to me. I do it faster and better on my own, and those are the chores I don't mind doing anyway. But I want them to enjoy being contributing members of the household, and I hope that investing in letting them practice now might lead to them being actually good at it someday. Last time they baked they really did a pretty good job and I didn't have THAT much to clean up after...we're getting there.
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amother




Linen
 

Post  Sun, May 10 2020, 2:27 am
Success10 wrote:
Do you folks have a rewards system or something? My kids have no chores, other than maybe cleaning up something that they took out.

Rewards are only for doing my job, like organizing a cupboard or cleaning the counter.
They need to pick up their toys, clean their messes, keep their rooms and themselves clean, put away their clothes, and help tidy the house.
They like to help in the kitchen and often get their own food. Sweeping snd dishes (for the eldest) are encouraged but not regular chores.
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