Are white cotton tights back in for kids? (BP chassidish)

pause

Fri, May 15 2020, 10:13 am

Ora in town wrote:

You are mistaken.
There are enough chareidim who allow their children socks...
Putting a three-year old in tights (some even proposed lycra tights) has nothing to do with "charedi"...
I criticise social pressure and yielding to social pressure.
I criticise unreasonable actions, especially if defenseless children have to suffer as a result.
I criticise superficiality.
and I tell things the way I see them.

Aren't you just perfect and wonderful? Banging head

amother

Aquamarine

Fri, May 15 2020, 10:20 am

amother [ Scarlet ] wrote:

No, it's not a mandatory community requirement. There are plenty of people that don't put on tights at 3. It has nothing to do with social pressure. There are even some chassidish schools that don't require tights at 3. And many kids wear tights only in school and when there's no school, they're in socks.
This minhag has nothing to do with social pressure and it's not pushed onto entire communities.

Just because it isn't mandatory in some communities, doesn't mean that it isn't mandatory in others.
And just because some chassidus don't require it, doesn't mean that there aren't those who do.

amother

Scarlet

Fri, May 15 2020, 10:34 am

amother [ Aquamarine ] wrote:

Just because it isn't mandatory in some communities, doesn't mean that it isn't mandatory in others.
And just because some chassidus don't require it, doesn't mean that there aren't those who do.

Right. But it has nothing to do with social pressures. They do it because it's their minhag.

amother

Cerise

Fri, May 15 2020, 10:36 am

To answer op question. My girls were wearing ribbed white tights last summer, this year I might get them the ribbed again or I'll get the one with the wink.

I have long learned to ignore the bashers on this threat. Just ignore they'll go away. Sadly there are people out there that are so bored that they just have to create heat.

Edit to add my kids wear gold shoes so they match.

amother

Aquamarine

Fri, May 15 2020, 10:37 am

amother [ Scarlet ] wrote:

Right. But it has nothing to do with social pressures. They do it because it's their minhag.

No, they are doing it only because they are being made to do so by the school and neighbors. They're not doing it for any minhag reasons. If they would have the choice, they would drop it in a heartbeat.

amother

Scarlet

Fri, May 15 2020, 10:42 am

amother [ Aquamarine ] wrote:

No way!!!! Please don't tell me that chassidish people only wear tights because the shcools demand it, this is the furthest thing from the truth.
Are you even chassidish?????
Many people wouldn't dream of putting socks on a 3 year old, it has zero to do with the school.

amother

Scarlet

Fri, May 15 2020, 10:45 am

dankbar wrote:

or school rule!

The one's that put on tights only because the school demands it, wear socks when there's no school.
The rest wear it because that's the minhag and that's what they do. They would wear tights regardless of the school rule.
My girls school has a rule no denim or red. When there's no school, they wear denim and red. People that don't wear denim and red wouldn't wear regardless of the school rule.

amother

Ginger

Fri, May 15 2020, 10:46 am

amother [ Scarlet ] wrote:

Way back when, many kids didn't start school until kindergarten, when kids are 4 already.
Those who had the minhag were all in tights at 3.
Same for those who turn 3 during summer.
My DDs are in a community school, and they don't have any chassidish rules since not all students are chassidish. I dont currently have little girls, but when I do iyH, they will be starting this minhag at 3. (They will be within the majority.)

I guess SOME people do it only because of school. Why they don't find another school if this bothers them so much, is beyond me.

rmbg

Fri, May 15 2020, 10:47 am

Hashem_n_Farfel wrote:

I would put my future little girl in knee highs personally or maybe socks.
She would only be a girl for a short time Sad

why not let her enjoy her childhood
I’ll enforce tznius when she’s six (as I was taught lol)

But again idk how early to put my girl in tights.
So far I have a son...

Did you actually read the post and the question?!? Nowhere in the post did she ask for people’s opinions on whether rights is the right decision for her child or not.

amother

Ginger

Fri, May 15 2020, 10:47 am

amother [ Scarlet ] wrote:

Yups. I have nieces like that. I think they start being makpid for 5 or 6. They never had an issue in or out of school.

amother

Aquamarine

Fri, May 15 2020, 10:50 am

amother [ Scarlet ] wrote:

I'm obviously referring to the ones within the group that don't agree with this minhag. You really think that within an entire community everyone is willingly conforming?

Many chassidish people wouldn't dream of putting socks on a three year old, and many dream daily of it. They grab every opportunity when they're away from the community to do just that. Just take a peek at some chassidish bungalow colonies (if they reopen) and other vacation spots to see how many drop the tights minhag as soon as they step out of the community's boundaries.

amother

Ginger

Fri, May 15 2020, 10:52 am

amother [ Aquamarine ] wrote:

That's ok. As long as you're in school, you follow the rules. Do your own thing on your own turf.
If you want to wear socks in school that desperately, find a new school. the school is entitled to make its rules.

amother

Aquamarine

Fri, May 15 2020, 10:57 am

amother [ Ginger ] wrote:

I guess SOME people do it only because of school. Why they don't find another school if this bothers them so much, is beyond me.

Because in the communities's I'm referring to, all schools demand it. And I don't get this continuing questioning about finding new schools or new cities, when one takes issue with something in their community. Moving to another location is not as simple as just picking oneself up and going there. Even more so, if the schools are the ones changing as you move along the system. And should you just drop your core beliefs, because there are a few parts that you don't agree with?

What I lament is the community wide approach to ensure that their members are carbon copies of one another. Chassidus is beautiful, minhagim are beautiful, but if only we would let live. Can chassidus only thrive if everyone follows the exact same minhagim?

amother

Scarlet

Fri, May 15 2020, 10:59 am

amother [ Aquamarine ] wrote:

This is exactly what I said. That the one's that don't hold of this minhag, put on tights only in school.
But the one's the do hold of this minhag, it's tights all the time and everywhere from age 3.

amother

Ginger

Fri, May 15 2020, 11:04 am

amother [ Aquamarine ] wrote:

No. But schools have their reasons for making rules and if you want to benefit from their services, you gotta do what they want you do.
It is not a secret that schools are not a perfect solution, and they never were. In a million different ways. In general, what is good for the greater good is not necessarily good for the individual.
If not for stigma, I would love to homeschool long term, and not because of tznius rules.
At the same time, institutions need rules to be successful.

amother

Scarlet

Fri, May 15 2020, 11:13 am

amother [ Aquamarine ] wrote:

The only community where all schools demand it is Monroe. In Williamsburg, Boro Park, and Monsey, not all schools demand tights at 3.

amother

Aquamarine

Fri, May 15 2020, 11:14 am

amother [ Ginger ] wrote:

Precisely, and that's what so sad about this. These rules are nothing more than personal enforcement of non-halachic issues. Having that as the priority criteria to be 'allowed' to be part of a yiddishe group, along with the mindset that everyone must be the same is actually not in accordance with the Torah. Additionally, so very often, its a buildup of these minor little things that culminate in negative consequences & push youngsters away from yiddishkeit altogether. These young kids can't differentiate between the minhagim & halachos, & project their frustrations of these minhagim onto the Torah as a whole.

What I'm trying to understand is why is there the belief that Chassidus can only survive if everyone is a carbon copy of the other.

amother

Scarlet

Fri, May 15 2020, 11:31 am

amother [ Aquamarine ] wrote:

It doesn't seem like you understand this minhag at all.

amother

Ginger

Fri, May 15 2020, 11:34 am

amother [ Aquamarine ] wrote:

I may choose to enforce whatever I wish in my business, in my kehilla, in whatever I run. You are free to do your own enforcement in your own domain. And, no, I don't either agree or support 3/4 of school rules. That doesn't mean it isn't important in order to run a large school. And even those that have nothing to do with running a school ( I can list a gazillion of those), it is their right as a private enterprise, to do it that way.
Every single chassidus I know has people from all the way to the right to way over to the left. Even in my own family, that is the way it is, with many of us doing very different things in the same or similar kehillas.
I don't see carbons in my universe. If many people are the same, it is because they feel the same way about specific things.
I'm sorry your reality is different.