Wedding Gifts during Covid-19

amother

Sun, May 17 2020, 10:19 am

Are you giving wedding gifts to couples that are getting married? Let’s say your neighbor, friend’s child is getting married you are not invited because of virus and you don’t get zoom invite either..do you give gift? And if you get zoom invite do you gift gift? What is the etiquette here. Please also say your location when you answer.

amother

Turquoise

Sun, May 17 2020, 11:00 am

I have a gift from gift registry thinking I was going to go to the wedding I saw it on zoom
And got a thank you
A wedding I went to before carona I never got a thank you

amother

Sun, May 17 2020, 11:46 am

amother [ Turquoise ] wrote:

I have a gift from gift registry thinking I was going to go to the wedding I saw it on zoom
And got a thank you
A wedding I went to before carona I never got a thank you

You got a physical wedding invitation?

southernbubby

Sun, May 17 2020, 11:59 am

It will depend on how close I am to the people who are getting married. In general, I didn't always give to weddings that I wasn't planning on attending unless they had given my kids. I will probably give smaller gifts than I would if I were actually going, even to children of close friends. Some are in real need because of their financial difficulty and it becomes a Mitzvah to give so all of this weighs in.

amother

Turquoise

Sun, May 17 2020, 12:01 pm

I got a physical invitation in the mail that was sent before march before carona was just starting
the wedding was supossed to have 400 people but family friends canceled the parents of the groom wanted to cancel the brides side didnt want to the brides father is diabetic and was afrid to catch carona at the end he did get it from the weeding and his wife to the wedding was moved to smal l shul with very few people coing to it the grandma coulod not fly to the wedding and had to watch it on zoom she got dressed up to watch the wedding

amother

Seafoam

Sun, May 17 2020, 12:05 pm

It also depends on how close and if I gave to siblings.

I had to rush into isolation sooner than others because of my medical condition. I messed up on the earlier simchas. But now Jewish businesses are figuring out a way to do things without in store visits. I give the same level gift I would before covid.

amother

Burlywood

Sun, May 17 2020, 12:14 pm

Yes, I’d give a wedding gift if it’s in my budget. If not in your budget, sending a card is thoughtful.

Especially if it’s a younger couple just starting out who don’t have much. In fact, a friend‘s kid just got married a few days ago & I just sent a small cash gift. Because of budget constraints, especially in these uncertain times, I’m only able to give small gift around $25.

amother

Pewter

Sun, May 17 2020, 12:35 pm

I think I'd give what I'd give if I was going to the actual wedding... Seems a shame to not give couple gifts they would get if they had the party.

southernbubby

Sun, May 17 2020, 12:45 pm

amother [ Pewter ] wrote:

I think I'd give what I'd give if I was going to the actual wedding... Seems a shame to not give couple gifts they would get if they had the party.

This is true but are they including you in the zoom wedding or are you off the radar? Everyone knows people who are engaged but do you give gifts to those who don't invite you, even if they had no choice but to cut the list somewhere? If someone has the means to give even when they are not invited, it's for sure a Mitzvah but the baal simchas are not expecting those gifts unless it's a wedding done by a chessed organization and even then, they don't expect it but do appreciate it.

amother

Seafoam

Sun, May 17 2020, 1:27 pm

southernbubby wrote:

The gift has nothing to do if I am included in a zoom wedding. I rather not have to deal with a zoom wedding.

sky

Sun, May 17 2020, 1:33 pm

In my neighborhood we all chip on vort gifts. One girl got engaged March 15. There is no vort. We just all got together and gave what we would have given by the vort so she shouldn’t miss out.

amother

Pewter

Sun, May 17 2020, 1:40 pm

southernbubby wrote:

I guess I was thinking of ones where I would probably be invited... I'm not "in town" so it's not like we get invited to lots of weddings-- people make smaller weddings and we usually only get invited if there's a relationship. If it's acquaintances I wouldn't give a gift.

southernbubby

Sun, May 17 2020, 1:40 pm

amother [ Seafoam ] wrote:

The gift has nothing to do if I am included in a zoom wedding. I rather not have to deal with a zoom wedding.

I don't know how much of the zoom wedding that I would "attend" but at least the baal simcha is including us to the best of their ability. If I don't even know when the wedding is being held, I personally see no need to send a gift. It could be that wealthier baal simchas would distribute "wedding in a box" treats to the zoom invitees and that is a whole new level of obligation for the guests.

amother

Bronze

Sun, May 17 2020, 1:55 pm

Of course give a gift! It's bad enough the couple won't have friends or most family at their wedding, and won't have Sheva brachos. At least let them not lose out on gifts!

I've given more gifts than usually during this time. Anything I can do to increase their simcha...

rzab

Sun, May 17 2020, 2:43 pm

I'm not in the wedding stage yet. But this has come up with a bunch of bar/bat mitzvahs. I decided to give if they're doing something or not. And if they're doing something that I wasn't invited to, but in normal circumstances I would be. This is my reasoning, B'H my husband and I are still working so financially we are in the same position. I would have given these kids gifts if Corona hadn't happened. And I know from my friends some of these kids are down about the situation so if I can make them feel a little better about it, I'm happy to.

chocolate moose

Sun, May 17 2020, 4:38 pm

I generally choose gift from the registry but only for people that I see all the time or a poor kallah.It'sup to you - I don't think there's a set rule for this atmosphere that' we're in,

A lot of people aren't working so that makes gifts moot too.