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Serial in the ami- chava and shulem
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Mothers




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Dec 13 2020, 2:06 am
amother [ Brunette ] wrote:
It doesn't work that way generally. Usually the author knows how long the serial will run- for example Pesach 20 until Pesach 21, if she can't wrap it up fast enough so they'll give her until Shavuos etc. They like to end in a big issue and start a new one because generally people buy the YT magazines and they want to hook people with a new serial so they'll continue buying. I'm sure the author knew she was ending Chanukah.


Well the pacing of her story was pretty awful, then . . .
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amother
Natural


 

Post Sun, Dec 13 2020, 7:39 am
I actually do like the ending.
It’s true to life.
The author didn’t sugar coat all the problems and nicely wrap up and put a pretty bow on everything just because the story got long .
The way she ended it is the way it would have ended in real life, with a lot of growth on both Shalom’s part and Chava’s part and a lot of loose ends still left to live with and deal with and daven with and hope with.
The main thing is that Shalom and Chava actually learned how to cope and deal with their lives and she brought that out beautifully.
Did it drag? Yes. Life drags.
To me this story is very true to life down do the fact that her horrible parents actually really love her, yes life is full of grey, and complexities.
And the main thing is to learn how to deal, and pray.
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amother
Peach


 

Post Sun, Dec 13 2020, 10:14 am
For those who are disappointed with the ending because it wasn't action-packed enough, I think you are missing the gist of the story, and that is the title "Crossroads". The entire story 'drags' us through Chava's and Shalom's young marriage and immature relationship, with Chava's parents always lurking in the shadows, which is a very real occurrence in many young couples' marriages. Even at the very end, when Chava feels confident in her decision to stand behind Shalom, her mother calls and baits her with the offer of their basement. Chava is at a "Crossroads" during the entire story, but at the very end she truly grows backbone and sticks to Shalom, despite his year in prison. And now she is no longer at a 'crossroads'; she has chosen her path. Writing about more dramatics in the story does not strengthen the message, which is loyalty in marriage, and Chava has achieved that at the end.

No, I am not the author of Crossroads; I am a woman who is married for many years B'H and I see the story through my middle-aged eyes and brain. Smile
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amother
Natural


 

Post Sun, Dec 13 2020, 10:42 am
amother [ Peach ] wrote:
For those who are disappointed with the ending because it wasn't action-packed enough, I think you are missing the gist of the story, and that is the title "Crossroads". The entire story 'drags' us through Chava's and Shalom's young marriage and immature relationship, with Chava's parents always lurking in the shadows, which is a very real occurrence in many young couples' marriages. Even at the very end, when Chava feels confident in her decision to stand behind Shalom, her mother calls and baits her with the offer of their basement. Chava is at a "Crossroads" during the entire story, but at the very end she truly grows backbone and sticks to Shalom, despite his year in prison. And now she is no longer at a 'crossroads'; she has chosen her path. Writing about more dramatics in the story does not strengthen the message, which is loyalty in marriage, and Chava has achieved that at the end.

No, I am not the author of Crossroads; I am a woman who is married for many years B'H and I see the story through my middle-aged eyes and brain. Smile


Right and what Shalom did was terrible but let’s be honest, it can happen to an idealistic and not-yet-fully-mature young man... he still deserved Chava’s loyalty once he showed real regret and real change in his outlook and his behaviour.
I’m also not the author but I think it’s a beautiful story of true love and growth.
Their superficial dandy connection grew into a real committed and respectful marriage.

I’d love to read an epilogue, and a really beautiful one!! It doesn’t need to be perfect, I don’t care if Shalom and his father in law aren’t best friends, as long as they can tolerate each other it’s good enough, but I hope to see their marriage in a good stable normal place and that them living a good happy life together!
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ExtraCredit




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Dec 13 2020, 10:46 am
But who gave him the drugs? Shouldn’t we have this mystery solved at the end?
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amother
Natural


 

Post Sun, Dec 13 2020, 10:57 am
ExtraCredit wrote:
But who gave him the drugs? Shouldn’t we have this mystery solved at the end?

Unfortunately there are drug dealers in the world who takes advantage of young innocent people. It was one of them.
Someone who is messed up himself and ruins others and deserves to sit behind bars... but he has a family that Shalom didn’t want to be the one to destroy. Some other boys did reveal his identity to the authorities though so sooner or later he’ll probably get caught.
Maybe in the Epilogue.
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amother
Teal


 

Post Sun, Dec 13 2020, 11:00 am
Though I was relieved to find that Chava had the seichel to stick with him through thick and thin, even though he made a (huge) mistake, I still want to hear how she (in theory) stuck out this tough year and if her parents embraced her after all, without interfering.
The worsed part in this true to life story was the parents interference with their marriage. I understand they felt they "fell in" with their son n law, but, excuse me- you married her off. Back off and let her live her life...
They were so harsh throughout. If the couple would've needed to deal with this issue themselves they could've been way better off. Let them make their own decision.
Chava too, had terrible communication skills. She ruined her marriage even more just by the way she dealt with him and spoke to him...
She finally got some sense into her brain at the end. She also finally seems to have gotten a backbone to herself and not get brainwashed from her parents.
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amother
Teal


 

Post Sun, Dec 13 2020, 11:05 am
I see Sholom as an innocent young yungerman, who wanted to make afew extra dollars and did what thousands of yungerlite do on a daily basis today.
Unfortunately he was caught (most probably through someone who was mussar-ing on him, so that he can get away with it). Unfortunately he got into trouble. But the way his in-laws and wife dealt with him, is what crushed their marriage and created this crazy story.
I see this as a real life event that can happen at anytime.
Parents need to know to back out of their children's lives. As much as they want to be helpful, this way of interacting was so wrong.
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amother
Natural


 

Post Sun, Dec 13 2020, 11:16 am
amother [ Teal ] wrote:
I see Sholom as an innocent young yungerman, who wanted to make afew extra dollars and did what thousands of yungerlite do on a daily basis today.
Unfortunately he was caught (most probably through someone who was mussar-ing on him, so that he can get away with it). Unfortunately he got into trouble. But the way his in-laws and wife dealt with him, is what crushed their marriage and created this crazy story.
I see this as a real life event that can happen at anytime.
Parents need to know to back out of their children's lives. As much as they want to be helpful, this way of interacting was so wrong.

Right and also the fact that Shalom initially rejected the top lawyer just because his father in law arranged it was very immature and stupid of him.
The way the characters dealt with everything is what created this amazingly crazy story.
Lots of immaturity, baggage and naïveté... but they all grew from it in the end, I think even the loving-controlling parents grew and changed throughout the story, once Chava learned to trust herself.
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amother
Babypink


 

Post Sun, Dec 13 2020, 12:27 pm
I ultimately see Shulem as the villian. He took the package when they didn't need money. He was dishonest/not sharing with his wife about it. Also showed incredible stupidity. Then when they were arrested, he did not turn to her. He was constantly using his own counsel. His own decisions; his rosh yeshiva in a discussion he had himself without his wife. He did not discuss issues frankly with her and work through it together with her. Was always either deciding himself or using cover of his rebbi without involving her. In many ways he's ruined her life. She was a little too under her parents thumb but he should have dealt with that without turning to crazy schemes to make money like taking packages that it didn't make sense to take. I can't blame his in laws for looking at him as someone they fell in with. I certainly agree with them. I probably would have divorced him not as much for taking the package as his lack of communication and his lack of trust in her counsel and wanting what was best for him.
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amother
Natural


 

Post Sun, Dec 13 2020, 12:34 pm
amother [ Babypink ] wrote:
I ultimately see Shulem as the villian. He took the package when they didn't need money. He was dishonest/not sharing with his wife about it. Also showed incredible stupidity. Then when they were arrested, he did not turn to her. He was constantly using his own counsel. His own decisions; his rosh yeshiva in a discussion he had himself without his wife. He did not discuss issues frankly with her and work through it together with her. Was always either deciding himself or using cover of his rebbi without involving her. In many ways he's ruined her life. She was a little too under her parents thumb but he should have dealt with that without turning to crazy schemes to make money like taking packages that it didn't make sense to take. I can't blame his in laws for looking at him as someone they fell in with. I certainly agree with them. I probably would have divorced him not as much for taking the package as his lack of communication and his lack of trust in her counsel and wanting what was best for him.

He wasn’t such a good husband at all.
And it’s normal for girls to be somewhat closer to their parents when they’re so newly married, as they grow as a couple they learn to trust each other more, which is really what happened in the end.
He had a lot of growing up to do even if he was very frum and a top learner.
Chava as well, they both really grew.
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amother
Forestgreen


 

Post Sun, Dec 13 2020, 1:37 pm
amother [ Babypink ] wrote:
I ultimately see Shulem as the villian. He took the package when they didn't need money. He was dishonest/not sharing with his wife about it. Also showed incredible stupidity. Then when they were arrested, he did not turn to her. He was constantly using his own counsel. His own decisions; his rosh yeshiva in a discussion he had himself without his wife. He did not discuss issues frankly with her and work through it together with her. Was always either deciding himself or using cover of his rebbi without involving her. In many ways he's ruined her life. She was a little too under her parents thumb but he should have dealt with that without turning to crazy schemes to make money like taking packages that it didn't make sense to take. I can't blame his in laws for looking at him as someone they fell in with. I certainly agree with them. I probably would have divorced him not as much for taking the package as his lack of communication and his lack of trust in her counsel and wanting what was best for him.


And in the end (or all along) he really did need His in laws money and connections to get a better outcome. But, his pride and immaturity stood in the way and he did nothing about it. If not for Chava’s constant overtures and her constantly running after him and pushing for communication, he wldve divorced her and maybe ended up in prison for a far greater time. For me Chava is the real hero of this story. I find that this is true in real life too. For the most part it’s usually the women pushing for therapy, communication or to better their marriages as opposed to men.
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amother
Natural


 

Post Sun, Dec 13 2020, 1:57 pm
amother [ Forestgreen ] wrote:
And in the end (or all along) he really did need His in laws money and connections to get a better outcome. But, his pride and immaturity stood in the way and he did nothing about it. If not for Chava’s constant overtures and her constantly running after him and pushing for communication, he wldve divorced her and maybe ended up in prison for a far greater time. For me Chava is the real hero of this story. I find that this is true in real life too. For the most part it’s usually the women pushing for therapy, communication or to better their marriages as opposed to men.

Yeah, and when she says at the end of the story “Take me home” I thought of the words chochmas nashim bansa baisa.... because only due to her wisdom she still even has her own home to go to.
It’ll be lonely but Shalom will return in a year (or seven months), and they can still have a beautiful future together.
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amother
Azure


 

Post Sun, Dec 13 2020, 3:30 pm
Wow you all are really tzaddekes

cant help but wonder how I and everyone would feel were this to happen to your just married daughter R"L
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amother
Natural


 

Post Sun, Dec 13 2020, 4:08 pm
amother [ Azure ] wrote:
Wow you all are really tzaddekes

cant help but wonder how I and everyone would feel were this to happen to your just married daughter R"L

You’re right It should never happen to anyone.... but they were a little nuts how they packed up her apartment without even telling her, how they cancelled her credit card in middle of nowhere and how her father couldn’t carry one decent normal conversation with his flesh and blood adult daughter. Totally insane for a father to act so curt and impatient with his own adult child.
But ya it’s definitely written more from Chava’s point of view. She was at a crossroads, and I think that after all said and done she chose well and hopefully will continue to use her head in navigating her life.
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amother
Forestgreen


 

Post Sun, Dec 13 2020, 5:16 pm
amother [ Azure ] wrote:
Wow you all are really tzaddekes

cant help but wonder how I and everyone would feel were this to happen to your just married daughter R"L


I agree with you. No parent should ever find themself in this position. Ever.
Especially the way things unfolded with the miscarriage, it seemed like the wisest move was to get out and move on before it gets even more complicated. In fact, had chava’s mother posted on here for advice I am sure the majority of us would tell her to get her daughter out of this marriage, pronto.
The only part I disagree is the way they went about it. There was zero communication and lots of manipulation and coercion. Be it because they loved her, or their image and good name was at stake, or a combination of both, this wasnt the right way to go about it. Which makes me wonder, was this how she grew up all along, and thus molded it her into the kind of adult she was before the whole arrest happened.
At any rate, I liked the way it ended.
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amother
Peach


 

Post Sun, Dec 13 2020, 9:37 pm
Why is Shalom being 'villain'ized'? I thought he was very eidel and a large part of mis-communication on his part was to protect Chava from herself and her parents. All the way back in the beginning of the story where Chava's parents were always in the background (more like foreground), Shalom never lashed out, even though he was very resentful. He loved and respected Chava too much to want to berate her for her parents' interference in their marriage and for her own immaturity in the face of their marital relationship.

Of course Shalom made mistakes. But he seems to be such a nice guy who will be so good to Chava and always take her under his wing. This horrible mistake of transporting drugs for money is definitely behind them. And yes, it was a desperate move for a desperate guy who wanted some financial independence.
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ExtraCredit




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Dec 20 2020, 1:01 am
This was not the epilogue we had in mind! Can't Believe It
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amother
Jetblack


 

Post Sun, Dec 20 2020, 1:14 am
What kind of epilogue did they write?
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Ima Piano




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Dec 20 2020, 1:15 am
I liked that it wasn't happily ever after the ending. He went to jail and finished
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