Rebbe playing favorites on Zoom

amother

Tue, May 19 2020, 11:08 am

My 6 year olds rebbe clearly plays favorites on zoom. We’re not sure if this intentional, however, during daily kriya, specific kids gets called on to review- consistently. While others including my son get called on only once (if that) within a two hr session.

We really try to be kaf zchus However it’s difficult to overlook when our son tries so hard to focus and this really deters him. (Either my husband or I sit by his side the entire time)

Last week my husband reached out to the rebbe (without pointing any fingers) and very gently asked if it was possible to include our son more. The rebbe explained that some boys don’t have their names identified on the screened and therefore making it difficult to call on them. Not wanting to be disrespectful, but our son has his own device with his own name logged in every time.

Our DS has been hurting and is questioning why so and so always gets called on and he doesn’t...we’re at a loss at how to respond.

Is it worth saying something to the rebbe again? And if so how to approach the matter as we don’t want to offend him especially since he will likely be our younger sons rebbe next year.

amother

Cyan

Tue, May 19 2020, 11:17 am

Maybe he is calling on kids who need extra help, ie poor kriyah skills.

But if your son is feeling sidelined, then it's not good. I'd tell the rebbi, vey nicely, that your son is feeling hurt. Make it abt him.

Rebbi shouldn't be calling in fine kids THAT much more.

amother

Lime

Tue, May 19 2020, 11:28 am

It is very impressive that you sit alongside your son the entire time!

I really empathize, we had a similar problem when we sent our son to an after school sports session. This child was very good at sports, and got completely turned off from it after he was repeatedly ignored because he was from a different school - so the volunteer father simply ignored him. (immature father!!)

But back to you.
I personally would call the Rebbe again and tell him that your son has been expressing that he feels he isn't called on enough. Tell him what his screen name is (even though it is obvious). Complement the rebbe on all the efforts, and tell him how your son really wants to feel more part of the class.

If you still see no improvement, perhaps sit and make a count, and then get back to the rebbe with the stats. (That is a more aggressive route, and I'd save that for last)
I agree it isn't a good idea to make a stink, especially with another son going into his class, but you can start off gently.

notshanarishona

Tue, May 19 2020, 11:43 am

Is there a lot of background noise in your house ? I tend to call on students who I will be able to hear vs the students who you can hear all their siblings in the background.
The other thing with zoom is that the names constantly shuffle around and especially if you have a big class you don’t see everyone on your screen unless you go up and down the names so it’s harder to notice everyone.

groovy1224

Tue, May 19 2020, 12:14 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

We don’t have any noise in the background as it’s just us during his zoom sessions. We are inclined to believe it’s because it’s such a large group of kids, however how can it be explained when calling on the same kids day in and day out?

I don't think there's anything wrong with bringing it up again in a polite way (even though what he's doing is pretty upsetting). Explain that this switch to zoom has been hard on your son, and you know it would really help him to be called on an extra time each session. Leave the 'favorites' out of it, just focus on what you would like regarding your own son.

I don't want to judge, teaching over zoom is certainly challenging and there may be a very valid reason why he prefers calling on certain boys- some boys have to fumble for the place a bit more, or are harder to hear, which can throw off the session- but he should be able to accommodate you somehow.

amother

Mint

Tue, May 19 2020, 12:21 pm

Maybe he isn't so comfortable on zoom. Maybe he doesn't know how to toggle back and forth on zoom, and just sees the same few boys on screen. Maybe he's looking at those raising their hands, and because he is out of his element he keeps calling on the same few boys that he knows will keep the lesson flowing because he is worried about losing student engagement.
You can certainly ask him to keep other kids in mind but I wouldn't jump to conclusions about his playing favorites.
I am teaching online, too, and it is so far from classroom dynamics that it is hard to explain. Some kids don't want to participate at all, and when I call on them there is a long uncomfortable silence. And then it breaks the whole flow of the lesson. Etc
Realize everyone is out of their comfort zone, including the rebbe.

amother

Denim

Tue, May 19 2020, 12:25 pm

It could be your internet is slower.
As a teacher, if a student has lwo bandwidth we can't hear them when they speak.
Could it be tech issues?
You can ask again, but also recognize how difficult online teaching is.
Depending on the class size, it could be that the rebbe can't see all the students at once and isn't as tech savvy....
Another option. Is to suggest to the principal to have teachers physically mark off when they call on students

teachkids

Tue, May 19 2020, 12:26 pm

As a teacher, I know I tend to call on the kids who are on my first page of pictures more because that’s who’s hands I see first. I’m now trying to switch what page I’m on every 5 minutes to spread the wealth. Maybe have him log on earlier to make it on the first page.

amother

Bronze

Tue, May 19 2020, 12:36 pm

It is very hard to manage a class on zoom, it's not like a classroom. The screens of each student are constantly jumping around. If there are more than 10-15 students, then there are 2+ pages of mini screens the teacher has to scroll through and keep track of, all while the screens keep shifting spots.
Many times the internet connection is bad which you may not be aware of. Even if you think it's working properly, check with the Rebbi that he can see and hear your child smoothly. Check to make sure your child's face is showing clearly on the screen, not just an ear or half a nose, and that your child is facing forward and looks like he's paying attention.
The teacher needs to keep up the flow of the lesson, and will choose kids who can keep the pace and not slow it down because it causes other kids to tune out.
Also if your presence is visible, the teacher may feel that your child is acting differently than he would in the classroom because of it and perhaps the teacher is uncomfortable to interact with your son in the same way as he would have.
Maybe have a conversation about all these points with the teacher.

amother

Ecru

Tue, May 19 2020, 12:42 pm

We live oot and I saw repeatedly the there are rebbes and teachers who have favorites. Because it is the rich kid or the Rabbi’s kid or the friend’s kid etc. It is disgusting and cruel. This rebbe for sure does this all the time in school. You are only noticing it now because it’s on zoom.

Maryann

Tue, May 19 2020, 12:44 pm

I didn’t read all the answers but I want to chime in... my son is in 3rd grade
I noticed the same thing!!! I almost couldn’t believe my ears bc he is known to be the best rebbe in the school !
But yes very sadly he was choosing the same 5boys over and over again
So sad

teachkids

Tue, May 19 2020, 12:50 pm

Something else to check in with- does the rebbi have a specific thing they’re supposed to do when they want to read? Chat box, raise hand button, raise their physical hand? I tell my students to write in the chat because there’s only a 25% chance I’ll see their physical hand, but some forget and get annoyed I don’t call on them.

amother

Indigo

Tue, May 19 2020, 12:59 pm

I completely understand especially because my 5 year old daughter will not participate in her zoom classes unless she is acknowledged and called on by her teacher- she gets very upset if she hasnt been personally talked to for some time.
From the teachers perspective there are sometimes a few students who are on the main page and you can't see everyone at once, so you have to go back and forth which can be distracting for a teacher. It is sometimes hard to keep track of who you called on especially on the zoom when you can't always see all the kids faces, people cut out or you can't hear them it's not the same as a real classroom.
They should try to acknowledge everyone though. I don't know if any of this is relevant to you but some things we tried:
If you come early/on time you usually end up on the main page or toward the beginning of the zoom boxes which can help the rebbe notice you.
If you are sending in the work/pictures of his work, whatever the rebbe/Morah asks for they are more likely to acknowledge your kid on the zoom because they are on their mind and have seen that they are invested.
The main thing I think is to contact the rebbe and frame it as your son being much more connected to the zoom if rebbe interacts with him personally and calls on him periodically otherwise it's more difficult for him to engage. Don't blame the rebbe or say he is ignoring your son or playing favorites but rather ask for a collaboration where the rebbe helps your child be more engaged by including him more .