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Non-frum cousin's zoom bat mitzvah



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Chippies




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, May 19 2020, 10:31 pm
I'm hoping someone who is poetic or good with words can help me out here. I have a non-frum cousin whom I barely know who is celebrating her bas mitzvah over zoom. Her mother asked everyone to "say a few words" to the bas mitzvah girl over zoom. She suggested certain topics that interest her daughter which are all completely secular topics of which I am ignorant (celebrities, sport teams, certain websites, etc), so I need help with this! I asked my rabbi what I should say and he advised that I not say anything specific about Torah, just about growing up to become a wonderful person who is caring and does chesed and something like that...but he didn't have time to really help me with specifics.

I'd appreciate any suggestions! Thank you!
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Stars




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, May 19 2020, 10:37 pm
Does it need to be a speech? You can just wish her a happy birthday, here's to many more, we love you, bye.
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singleagain




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, May 19 2020, 10:44 pm
What are some of those things her mom suggested? Someone might be familiar and be able to post something cute
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amother
Apricot


 

Post Tue, May 19 2020, 11:08 pm
People like to see themselves. I would put together a picture show (maybe PowerPoint) of photos of her through the years (ask her mom for some if you don't have) and reminisce about how special she is. You can share your screen on Zoom with the photo presentation. Along with that give her your birthday wishes and hopes for her happiness.
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Chippies




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, May 19 2020, 11:12 pm
singleagain wrote:
What are some of those things her mom suggested? Someone might be familiar and be able to post something cute


Here is what the mother said in her email. I'm just changing her name:

"When it’s your turn, can you please hold up a candle and say a few words to Rachel - as a toast, poem or song. (If you need ideas, she loves Shawn Mendes, Tick Tocks, The Maple Leafs, Camp Manitou - so including any of these would be great.)"

I don't know what any of those things are, other than the maple leafs, which is a hockey team, but I know no more than that!

Anyway, I'm not sure if I really want to discuss those things...I'd rather just say something nice about how I wish she continues to grow up to become a wonderful caring person. I think it should be at least a few sentences long - it can't just be like a "mazal tov!" and that's it.
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Chippies




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, May 19 2020, 11:14 pm
amother [ Apricot ] wrote:
People like to see themselves. I would put together a picture show (maybe PowerPoint) of photos of her through the years (ask her mom for some if you don't have) and reminisce about how special she is. You can share your screen on Zoom with the photo presentation. Along with that give her your birthday wishes and hopes for her happiness.


That's a beautiful idea! Unfortunately, I kind of left this to the last minute and I just don't have time to do that!
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cbs880




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, May 19 2020, 11:14 pm
IMHO zooms are boring. They can get better if the ppl involved have some spunk/personality. Nobody wants to hear a speech you'll make about a cousin you hardly know...think it would be better to be original here. Instead of a bunch of ppl speaking , you can write your message out in paper and shift through the pile word by word..or you can spell out your message with Scrabble Pieces. Happy bat mitzvah, (name! ) we love you and hope you grow up to be a proud Jewish woman! ( You can add like your mom if it applies!) Then blow some kisses and call it a day
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singleagain




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, May 19 2020, 11:21 pm
Shawn Mendes is a singer. I actually just realized I know some of his songs. But maybe take a look at some of the lyrics. And see if you can apply them to her. For example, look at Life at the party,

I love it when you just don't care
I love it when you dance like there's nobody there
So when it gets hard, don't be afraid
We don't care what them people say
I love it when you don't take no
I love it when you do what you want cause you just said so
Let them all go home, we out late
We don't care what them people say
We don't have to be ordinary
Make your best mistakes
'Cause we don't have the time to be sorry
So baby be the life of the party
I'm telling you to take your shot it might be scary
Hearts are gonna break
'Cause we don't have the time to be sorry
So baby be the life of the party
Together we can just let go
Pretend like there's no one else here that we know
Slow dance fall in love as the club track plays
We don't care what them people say
We don't have to be ordinary
Make your best mistakes
'Cause we don't have the time to be sorry
So baby be the life of the party
I'm telling you to take your shot it might be scary
Hearts are gonna break
'Cause we don't have the time to be sorry
So baby be the life of the party
Come out tonight, come out tonight
There's no one standing in your way
Come out tonight, come out tonight
We don't care what them people say
We don't care what them people say
We don't have to be ordinary
Make your best mistakes
'Cause we don't have the time to be sorry
So baby be the life of the party
I'm telling you to take your shot it might be scary
Hearts are gonna break
'Cause we don't have the time to be sorry
So baby be the life of the party
Yeah, yeah, yeah
Life of the party
So don't let them keep you down
Oh you know you can't give up
'Cause we don't have the time to be sorry
So baby be the life of the party


I believe, I believe, I believe, hey
I believe, I believe, I believe, hey
I believe, I believe, I believe, hey
I believe, I believe, I believe, hey
I believe, I believe, I believe, hey
I believe, I believe, I believe, hey
I believe, I believe, I believe, hey
I believe, I believe, I believe, hey
Everest is only a mountain
A pyramid is just a shape
Doesn't have to hold you back
Doesn't have to pin you down
Let your dreams take flight
And your heart ignite
Did you know that it's true
Everything is possible
There's nothing we can't do
It's a wild and beautiful fire
And I believe in you
I believe, I believe, I believe, hey
I believe, I believe, I believe, hey
I believe, I believe, I believe, hey (and I believe in you)
I believe, I believe, I believe, hey
I believe, I believe, I believe, hey
I believe, I believe, I believe, hey
I believe, I believe, I believe, hey
I believe, I believe, I believe, hey
Don't be afraid to be who you are
Just dream out and shout and follow the stars
Forget about the past that it's over
We are the young ones our way is forward
Who keeps tabs on stupid mistakes?
We all mess up but that's just the way
We learn how to get back up
We learn how to turn the page
So we will let our dreams take flight
And our hearts ignite
Did you know that it's true
Everything is possible
There's nothing we can't do
It's a wild and beautiful fire
And I believe in you
I believe, I believe, I believe, hey
I believe, I believe, I believe, hey
I believe, I believe, I believe, hey (and I believe in you)
I believe, I believe, I believe, hey
I believe, I believe, I believe, hey
I believe, I believe, I believe, hey
I believe, I believe, I believe, hey
I believe, I believe, I believe, hey
Let your dreams take flight
And your heart ignite
Did you know that it's true
That everything is possible
There's nothing we can't do
It's a wild and beautiful fire
And I believe in you
I believe, I believe, I believe, hey
I believe, I believe, I believe, hey
I believe, I believe, I believe, hey (and I believe in you)
I believe, I believe, I believe, hey
I believe, I believe, I believe, hey
I believe, I believe, I believe, hey
I believe, I believe, I believe, hey
I believe, I believe, I believe, hey (I believe in you)
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Chippies




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, May 19 2020, 11:29 pm
cbs880 wrote:
IMHO zooms are boring. They can get better if the ppl involved have some spunk/personality. Nobody wants to hear a speech you'll make about a cousin you hardly know...think it would be better to be original here. Instead of a bunch of ppl speaking , you can write your message out in paper and shift through the pile word by word..or you can spell out your message with Scrabble Pieces. Happy bat mitzvah, (name! ) we love you and hope you grow up to be a proud Jewish woman! ( You can add like your mom if it applies!) Then blow some kisses and call it a day


Great idea. Thanks!
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wifeandmore




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, May 19 2020, 11:34 pm
Happy bat mitzvah!! I hope ur always as happy as the smiling dancers dancing the renegade on tiktok. We love u
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amother
Indigo


 

Post Tue, May 19 2020, 11:42 pm
Chippies wrote:
Here is what the mother said in her email. I'm just changing her name:

"When it’s your turn, can you please hold up a candle and say a few words to Rachel - as a toast, poem or song. (If you need ideas, she loves Shawn Mendes, Tick Tocks, The Maple Leafs, Camp Manitou - so including any of these would be great.)"

I don't know what any of those things are, other than the maple leafs, which is a hockey team, but I know no more than that!

Anyway, I'm not sure if I really want to discuss those things...I'd rather just say something nice about how I wish she continues to grow up to become a wonderful caring person. I think it should be at least a few sentences long - it can't just be like a "mazal tov!" and that's it.


It’s a virtual candle lighting. I don’t think you’re expected to speak more than 2 to 3 minutes.

The Maple Leafs were one of the original 6 NHL teams. They should be hockey royalty, but in fact they haven’t even gotten to the finals since the 1967 expansion. In fact, they last won the Cup in 1967. It takes a special kind of person to choose to love and follow a team with such an abysmal record. Maybe that says something about her. That she’s loyal. That she tries even when it seems hopeless. Something like that. “Somewhere out there, there’s a fan who’s here for their first time.... their last time... or their only time. I owe that fan my best.”

Anon because hey, how many hockey fans here.
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amother
Silver


 

Post Wed, May 20 2020, 8:03 am
amother [ Indigo ] wrote:
It’s a virtual candle lighting. I don’t think you’re expected to speak more than 2 to 3 minutes.

The Maple Leafs were one of the original 6 NHL teams. They should be hockey royalty, but in fact they haven’t even gotten to the finals since the 1967 expansion. In fact, they last won the Cup in 1967. It takes a special kind of person to choose to love and follow a team with such an abysmal record. Maybe that says something about her. That she’s loyal. That she tries even when it seems hopeless. Something like that. “Somewhere out there, there’s a fan who’s here for their first time.... their last time... or their only time. I owe that fan my best.”

Anon because hey, how many hockey fans here.


Sounds like she is from Toronto. And she's 12. She's not loyal, she's following the local team.

Anyway - the topics were only suggestions, not a requirement.

OP - give her a nice bracha.
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Raisin




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, May 20 2020, 8:14 am
My husband often uses sports mashalim in his bar mitzva speeches but I can't recall any offhand. You can say something just like every person on a sports team matters, so too all Jewish people are connected.
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imasinger




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, May 20 2020, 8:25 am
I like singleagain's idea.

You could say, "Mazel tov, it's so exciting to see you reach this milestone! May you continue to grow and learn.

It can't have been easy to have to change your plans to a Zoom bat mitzvah. Living in these times can teach us many Torah values about caring for others, and working together.

Your mom tells me that you like Shawn Mendes. I'm not so familiar, but when I looked, I found these lyrics, which I hope express some of the feelings your family has as you reach this milestone.

"Let your dreams take flight
And your heart ignite
Did you know that it's true
Everything is possible"

May you grow from strength to strength!
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amother
Amber


 

Post Wed, May 20 2020, 8:31 am
Obviously you don't know her very well. If you tried to make a personalized presentation it would come across as fake. I've never heard anyone give speeches at a candlelighting, but if everyone made a whole production it would go on interminably. A few sentences congratulating her on arriving at the threshold of adult life and sharing your love is all you need.
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hesha




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, May 20 2020, 9:54 am
Mazel tov x on your bat mitzvah! . It’s amazing to see what a beautiful young woman you have grown into ! It means so much to me to be able to be a part of your bat mitzvah celebration and to watch you celebrate this beautiful milestone . I would like to take this opportunity to wish you a life full of health and happiness, where all your dreams come true. I can’t wait to see all the things you’re going to accomplish In your life, I just know that you’ll go far! We are all so proud of you, keep up the great work! Mazel tov!
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avrahamama




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, May 20 2020, 9:59 am
amother [ Indigo ] wrote:
It’s a virtual candle lighting. I don’t think you’re expected to speak more than 2 to 3 minutes.

The Maple Leafs were one of the original 6 NHL teams. They should be hockey royalty, but in fact they haven’t even gotten to the finals since the 1967 expansion. In fact, they last won the Cup in 1967. It takes a special kind of person to choose to love and follow a team with such an abysmal record. Maybe that says something about her. That she’s loyal. That she tries even when it seems hopeless. Something like that. “Somewhere out there, there’s a fan who’s here for their first time.... their last time... or their only time. I owe that fan my best.”

Anon because hey, how many hockey fans here.


Don't be anon. This made me laugh so much. I don't know much about hockey. (Meaning I know there's sticks and a dangerous metal disk and ice)
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avrahamama




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, May 20 2020, 10:00 am
imasinger wrote:
I like singleagain's idea.

You could say, "Mazel tov, it's so exciting to see you reach this milestone! May you continue to grow and learn.

It can't have been easy to have to change your plans to a Zoom bat mitzvah. Living in these times can teach us many Torah values about caring for others, and working together.

Your mom tells me that you like Shawn Mendes. I'm not so familiar, but when I looked, I found these lyrics, which I hope express some of the feelings your family has as you reach this milestone.

"Let your dreams take flight
And your heart ignite
Did you know that it's true
Everything is possible"

May you grow from strength to strength!


I like this.
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