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amother




OP
 

Post  Thu, May 21 2020, 10:13 am
Does anyone else work in kiruv and completely worried about Shabbos hosting?
We work on a college campus and always have guests in a Shabbos house every week. Not now, college has been closed since March. But, I am very worried about Fall Semester. The college we are on sent out a plan this week for fall reopening, and it looks like we are back on campus.
I don't know how I will feel comfortable having tons of students in and out of my house regularly, eating there, sleeping there, even just hanging out playing a game.
My anxiety level over this is literally skyrocketing
Unfortunately, my husband feels social distancing is ridiculous, and is very happy to start hosting again the second campus starts up again. He thinks all these coronavirus guidelines are ridiculous (mask wearing, for example)
I was really hoping the college would just be all virtual in the fall, but that hope has been dashed.
Anyone else in this situation?? I'm so worried!
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Hillery




 
 
 
 

Post  Thu, May 21 2020, 11:05 am
Coronavirus is pretty much over bh, so ignore the reshaim apikorsim prophets of doom who have zero bitachon and don't believe in Hashem at all, and continue with your holy work.
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avrahamama




 
 
 
 

Post  Thu, May 21 2020, 11:09 am
Hillery wrote:
Coronavirus is pretty much over bh, so ignore the reshaim apikorsim prophets of doom who have zero bitachon and don't believe in Hashem at all, and continue with your holy work.


lol did my husband send you here???
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Frumme




 
 
 
 

Post  Thu, May 21 2020, 11:26 am
A few things:

1) Make a compromise with your husband about this situation. Let him know how anxious you feel about the situation and want to be cautious, but also validate his feelings (it's obviously a very important subject to him). For example, maybe only host 1-2 shabbos(im)/month for now, have a max number of students who can come to the shabbos table, cannot have had any signs of being ill, must wash hands well upon arrival, do not help you with serving food, etc. If he doesn't agree to a compromise, then it's on him, not you. Your feelings and opinions are just as important as his in this regard. The house is *your* domain.

2) Make sure your husband understands that even though HE thinks the coronavirus is exaggerated and extreme precautions aren't necessary, it is 100% a chillul Hashem for him to blatantly not adhere to social distancing suggestions, forgo masks when shopping, et cetera. This is not the sort of thing you want people to be discussing about the Local Orthodox Rabbi. Even if he doesn't want to, he needs to make sure that Jews are represented in a healthy light. So many people already think we're against following the law/selfish/apathetic. We need to show the world that we are a light amongst the nations by being better than they think we are and going above and beyond. Any posters, texts, social media posts, etc should have it clearly written that shabbos meals need strict RSVPs and that certain measures will be in place to protect attendees-- even if you do or do not think they're necessary.
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amother




Pumpkin
 

Post  Thu, May 21 2020, 11:26 am
I also hosted many people on a regular basis pre-covid19 and had issues with my dh wanting to continue hosting even at the height of the pandemic ("just one person! I know him, it's ok!") and also in the past he tried to force me to host nonvaxxers during the time when measles were rampant. I think that some men in particular are simply reckless whereas women are often more practical and take into account their kids' wellbeing a little more. I don't have much advice unfortunately, as my DH and I had major fights about these issues. Just want to give you support that you're entirely justified in your apprehension. It's still early days yet.
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Elfrida




 
 
 
 

Post  Thu, May 21 2020, 11:38 am
It's a real concern. Corona seems to be slowing down now, but there is a real chance that it will come back full force in the autumn.

If it gets to serious levels again, the college is likely to move back to on line, so you won't need to worry. Your problem will be if it stays around, but at relatively low levels so society as a whole will remain open.

Autumn and winter is when people get colds and flu anyway. You can't start panicking every time you hear someone sneeze or cough. Give everyone a healthy summer and build up their immune systems as much as you can. Including yourself. Nearer the time you'll have to look at the situation on the ground and try to make some decisions. By then you'll hopefully have clearer information to work with.
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amother




Sapphire
 

Post  Thu, May 21 2020, 11:42 am
Hillery wrote:
Coronavirus is pretty much over bh, so ignore the reshaim apikorsim prophets of doom who have zero bitachon and don't believe in Hashem at all, and continue with your holy work.


Aren’t you against kiruv?
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amother




OP
 

Post  Thu, May 21 2020, 11:50 am
Hillery wrote:
Coronavirus is pretty much over bh, so ignore the reshaim apikorsim prophets of doom who have zero bitachon and don't believe in Hashem at all, and continue with your holy work.


OP here: Can you explain this please?
I haven't even left my house since Purim, haven't even seen my widowed mother since then, have been following every governmental guideline, and no, I don't believe coronavirus is over which is why I am highly concerned about going back to work, and wish the university wasn't even opening I. the fall.
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Hillery




 
 
 
 

Post  Thu, May 21 2020, 12:02 pm
amother [ Sapphire ] wrote:
Aren’t you against kiruv?


What? Where did you get that misconception from? I'm actually a bit into kiruv.
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amother




Firebrick
 

Post  Thu, May 21 2020, 12:08 pm
I am finding it hard to understand how we can simply say "Coronavirus is over," when there are about 10,000 new deaths each week? 2 weeks ago the death toll was 70,000. Last week we heard 80,000. Now we are up to 93,000 last I heard. How exactly does that mean this virus is over? Please explain your reasoning?
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amother




Slateblue
 

Post  Thu, May 21 2020, 12:09 pm
Hillery wrote:
Coronavirus is pretty much over bh, so ignore the reshaim apikorsim prophets of doom who have zero bitachon and don't believe in Hashem at all, and continue with your holy work.


I never realized that you are a doctor. Doctor Hillery- has a nice ring to it Cool
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PinkFridge




 
 
 
 

Post  Thu, May 21 2020, 12:11 pm
You can ask whoever you ask your shailos to. What I would ask is, who in my area would be the best medical professionals and rabbanim, who really have the facts on the local ground, to consult with?
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Hillery




 
 
 
 

Post  Thu, May 21 2020, 12:19 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
OP here: Can you explain this please?
I haven't even left my house since Purim, haven't even seen my widowed mother since then, have been following every governmental guideline, and no, I don't believe coronavirus is over which is why I am highly concerned about going back to work, and wish the university wasn't even opening I. the fall.


I said it's basically over bh because there are very few new cases, and almost zero heimishe Yidden. So Hashem in His great mercy had removed this terrible plague from His people.

Unfortunately there are reshaim like the cdc and other apikorsim, who don't believe in Hashem at all, and just like to predict doom. Nevi'ai sheker of sorrow. They say that they don't know yet, but there could be, might be, maybe, a resurgence. Who are they to say? They know nothing, they couldn't even find their way out of a paper bag. Nobodies with no input into the future.

I heard a short shiur by R' Binyomin Eisenberger, and he made the point that in Torah it says vatai'otzer hamageifa - the plagued stopped! Hashem doesn't need a slowdown period or peaks and ebbs, He brought it and He can stop it just like that.

So have bitachon in Hashem, and don't worry about something that might perhaps come, because by having daagoh, a person can actually bring chalila the bad things. It's one thing to be prudent while a plague is actually rampant, but worrying about the future is the opposite of bitachon.
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CiCi




 
 
 
 

Post  Thu, May 21 2020, 12:20 pm
Hillery wrote:
What? Where did you get that misconception from? I'm actually a bit into kiruv.


I think they are mixing us up because overall we have similar hashkafas. In this case my opinion is different than yours and I am against kiruv in the US (not in Israel) for various reasons.

But I hope no one will comment on my opinions regarding kiruv as I don't want the thread to go off course.
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Elfrida




 
 
 
 

Post  Thu, May 21 2020, 12:26 pm
Quote:
I heard a short shiur by R' Binyomin Eisenberger, and he made the point that in Torah it says vatai'otzer hamageifa - the plagued stopped! Hashem doesn't need a slowdown period or peaks and ebbs, He brought it and He can stop it just like that
.

Yes, HKB'H could stop it just like that. But we don't live in a time of open miracles today.

Models do predict at least one more spike. In a world that is run derech hateva, it would be irresponsible not to at least consider this. Though to make plans now for the autumn is very difficult.
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amother




Linen
 

Post  Thu, May 21 2020, 12:27 pm
Hi OP,
I’m in the same boat - campus kiruv (maybe we know each other). I’m also not sure what we’ll do.

There are probably measures we can take to make our Shabbos table safer:

- less guests per meal, more spacing between seats
- possibly doing meals outside When weather permits
- everyone washes hands when they come in and don’t come if sick of course
- strict areas of the house where guests are allowed, no more helping me in the kitchen or clearing.

These are just me thinking off the top of my head. Probably our organization will come out with guidelines.
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amother




Jade
 

Post  Thu, May 21 2020, 12:37 pm
amother [ Firebrick ] wrote:
I am finding it hard to understand how we can simply say "Coronavirus is over," when there are about 10,000 new deaths each week? 2 weeks ago the death toll was 70,000. Last week we heard 80,000. Now we are up to 93,000 last I heard. How exactly does that mean this virus is over? Please explain your reasoning?


People have a misconception that once we're on the downward trend the whole thing is over.
Plenty are still getting sick, but b"H it is reducing daily.
That doesn't mean it's over but rather the situation is improving, we're on the other side of the peak.
And also realize that some of the charts you see represent GROWTH, and not cases. So while growth may be slowing you may still see plenty and plenty of cases.

It's easy for people who have had the virus to act like those who still don't want to catch it are all overreacting and being ridiculous.
I noticed it with a good friend of mine.
She was a nervous wreck beforehand, and now she's pressuring me to let the kids get together in a way I'm not comfortable with.
You see, she already had it.... and I didn't!!
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PinkFridge




 
 
 
 

Post  Thu, May 21 2020, 12:39 pm
Hillery wrote:
I said it's basically over bh because there are very few new cases, and almost zero heimishe Yidden. So Hashem in His great mercy had removed this terrible plague from His people.

Unfortunately there are reshaim like the cdc and other apikorsim, who don't believe in Hashem at all, and just like to predict doom. Nevi'ai sheker of sorrow. They say that they don't know yet, but there could be, might be, maybe, a resurgence. Who are they to say? They know nothing, they couldn't even find their way out of a paper bag. Nobodies with no input into the future.

I heard a short shiur by R' Binyomin Eisenberger, and he made the point that in Torah it says vatai'otzer hamageifa - the plagued stopped! Hashem doesn't need a slowdown period or peaks and ebbs, He brought it and He can stop it just like that.

So have bitachon in Hashem, and don't worry about something that might perhaps come, because by having daagoh, a person can actually bring chalila the bad things. It's one thing to be prudent while a plague is actually rampant, but worrying about the future is the opposite of bitachon.


So what does Rabbi Eisenberger (I've heard of him and respect him) say l'maaseh, how we are to conduct our lives in the parameters of our local governments?


Last edited by PinkFridge on Thu, May 21 2020, 3:57 pm; edited 1 time in total
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bigsis144




 
 
 
 

Post  Thu, May 21 2020, 12:41 pm
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amother




Mauve
 

Post  Thu, May 21 2020, 12:47 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
Does anyone else work in kiruv and completely worried about Shabbos hosting?
We work on a college campus and always have guests in a Shabbos house every week. Not now, college has been closed since March. But, I am very worried about Fall Semester. The college we are on sent out a plan this week for fall reopening, and it looks like we are back on campus.
I don't know how I will feel comfortable having tons of students in and out of my house regularly, eating there, sleeping there, even just hanging out playing a game.
My anxiety level over this is literally skyrocketing
Unfortunately, my husband feels social distancing is ridiculous, and is very happy to start hosting again the second campus starts up again. He thinks all these coronavirus guidelines are ridiculous (mask wearing, for example)
I was really hoping the college would just be all virtual in the fall, but that hope has been dashed.
Anyone else in this situation?? I'm so worried!


As the parent of a college student who is helped by people like you, thank you.

I'm going to ignore the people who think that the hundreds of people dying every day is a hoax, and address your concerns.

Where my son (and next year, my daughter as well) go to school, there is a separation between the Chabad House and where the kids go to eat and hang out. That's what you need. Contact the university, which is surely aware of the valuable service that you provide, and see if, at least in the short term, there is a room that could be provided, free or at low cost, for Shabbat meals. It would mean more room temp foods, probably, but that will be OK.

No sleeping over for now. If there are kids too far to walk, they can stay with friends. Or have a food pickup on Friday for someone who is designated to do shabbat meals off campus (which is also done at my son's school).

Hatzlacha. May you and your family remain healthy.
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