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Suggestions on where to move?
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amother
OP


 

Post Thu, May 21 2020, 3:29 pm
My dh and I want to move to the east coast, we've been in an area where we're one of the only frum families, have to order groceries or travel hours to buy certain things, no restaurants (closest is like 9 hours away) so I'm getting seriously burned out from cooking all the time for the last 3 years and we're both pretty over it. But we don't know where to go. He can stay with his current company and work remotely and I'm a SAHM and we homeschool so we're covered in that area. We are an interracial couple so places where people are used to more diversity would probably be more comfortable.

I don't know what label/box (if any lol) we fit in regards to Yiddishkeit, we really don't care what other people do or don't do even if it's different from us, what people wear, etc. We care more about being around friendly Frum Jews.

Things that are important to us:
Friendly neighborhood (especially the kids)
Diverse area
Kosher restaurants
Places to walk/ride bikes
Not too big - we were both raised in very small towns (mine had 950 people, his was slightly bigger) the city we live in now has 500,000 people and it seems huge to us lol so I don't know.
Family friendly things to do
Affordable housing (ETA: 350-400k or less - definitely less would be easier ), we do want to be able to realistically buy a house one day IYH


I've seen the Lakewood posts about how crowded it's getting, don't worry, we will avoid the area.

We would absolutely 100000000% love to make aliyah one day IYH so Israel recommendations are welcome! I would move to Israel in a heartbeat but there are other factors that make us hesitant but not permanently so, just probably won't happen until our ds is older.

Main/only reasons are: being so far from extended family, my dad is very close with all of us, pre-covid we would see him at least every other week if not more (he lives about 3 hours away currently) and is willing to move to the east coast when we move but doesn't want to make aliyah so that would be difficult.

Also our ds is extremely friendly, happy literally like 98.5% of the time and genuinely does not understand when people are mean. Like he understands when people say/do mean things he just doesn't understand why someone would willingly choose to be unkind so I don't think his personality is the best fit.

I digress, if anyone has any suggestions we would greatly appreciate it! We're hoping to move when our lease is up in January so we have a little bit of time to check out some places before moving.
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amother
Mauve


 

Post Thu, May 21 2020, 3:33 pm
Teaneck or Fair Lawn, New Jersey could work. I don't know what you consider affordable, and even though you get along with everyone, you'll probably want a shul that matches your outlook. So I can't say for sure.
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amother
Emerald


 

Post Thu, May 21 2020, 3:44 pm
Make aliyah now when your DS is young. If you are Chabad you could find a small remote area possibly but what you are looking for seems more similar to what you already have. Frum (Orthodox) communities that have school options aren’t small. If you’re willing to send to a co-Ed community day school you have far more options. Allentown, PA is sticking out to me for you.
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amother
OP


 

Post Thu, May 21 2020, 3:56 pm
amother [ Emerald ] wrote:
Make aliyah now when your DS is young. If you are Chabad you could find a small remote area possibly but what you are looking for seems more similar to what you already have. Frum (Orthodox) communities that have school options aren’t small. If you’re willing to send to a co-Ed community day school you have far more options. Allentown, PA is sticking out to me for you.


We homeschool so we're not too worried about school options right now. I just worry about him fitting in if we make aliyah now and we don't want him to lose his sunny disposition, he'll be 7 in July.
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amother
Mistyrose


 

Post Thu, May 21 2020, 4:04 pm
I would focus on southern states rather than tri state area. Maybe atlanta or baltimore? From what I've seen both have strong diverse communities
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DrMom




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, May 21 2020, 4:09 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
We homeschool so we're not too worried about school options right now. I just worry about him fitting in if we make aliyah now and we don't want him to lose his sunny disposition, he'll be 7 in July.

That's a good age.

Lots of places to chose from here in E"Y, and there are many interracial families.

But do you plan to homeschool if you move to E"Y (How's your Hebrew?)?

Anyhow, based on what you said about your family it sounds like it's best to move within the US.
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amother
OP


 

Post Thu, May 21 2020, 4:18 pm
amother [ Mistyrose ] wrote:
I would focus on southern states rather than tri state area. Maybe atlanta or baltimore? From what I've seen both have strong diverse communities


I do have family in Atlanta but the summers are not for me haha
We haven't spent much time in Baltimore but I did live outside of DC for a little while and generally like Maryland. Thank you!
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amother
OP


 

Post Thu, May 21 2020, 4:21 pm
DrMom wrote:
That's a good age.

Lots of places to chose from here in E"Y, and there are many interracial families.

But do you plan to homeschool if you move to E"Y (How's your Hebrew?)?

Anyhow, based on what you said about your family it sounds like it's best to move within the US.


If we moved to E"Y it would be after he was out of the house but I don't know what we would decide if we had more children. My Hebrew is good enough to get by but I don't consider myself fluent, just comfortable-ish getting around/through the day without switching to English when I visit.
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amother
Mauve


 

Post Thu, May 21 2020, 4:31 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
If we moved to E"Y it would be after he was out of the house but I don't know what we would decide if we had more children. My Hebrew is good enough to get by but I don't consider myself fluent, just comfortable-ish getting around/through the day without switching to English when I visit.


Why wait that long? If you want to come to Israel, do it sooner rather than later. The options for Jewish life are far more varied than in the US. You can live in a rural area and still have access to kosher food and other Jewish amenities. And biracial Jewish couples are far more common in Israel than in the US. Outside of charedi neighborhoods, you're likely to fit in easily.

Also, you may enjoy home schooling now, but not everyone does it through high school. So it's likely that at some point, you're going to come face to face with
American tuition.
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amother
OP


 

Post Thu, May 21 2020, 4:51 pm
amother [ Mauve ] wrote:
Why wait that long? If you want to come to Israel, do it sooner rather than later. The options for Jewish life are far more varied than in the US. You can live in a rural area and still have access to kosher food and other Jewish amenities. And biracial Jewish couples are far more common in Israel than in the US. Outside of charedi neighborhoods, you're likely to fit in easily.

Also, you may enjoy home schooling now, but not everyone does it through high school. So it's likely that at some point, you're going to come face to face with
American tuition.


You're absolutely right, we have no idea what will happen when he hits high school age and American tuition is insane. I would love to move now, every time I visit I don't want to go back to the US, it definitely feels like home to me. But I don't know how the rest of my family would feel about it and it would be hard having all of our family in the states and not able to visit often. Although I do have a cousin who stayed in Germany after her family moved to the states and they make it work so it's definitely doable, just hard.
I think if we went and stayed for a year it would be easier to definitively say yes let's do this or no let's wait without my extremely biased opinion in favor of leaving the US. I haven't brought up that idea to dh yet, we only recently started seriously thinking about where we want to go and since he can work remotely it really doesn't matter where in the world we are.
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amother
Aubergine


 

Post Thu, May 21 2020, 5:19 pm
Highland Park/Edison NJ is the most diverse Jewish community that I know of, religiously, economically and culturally. In your price range, you would be looking at a smaller, older home. Highland Park is a quaint small town with kosher eateries and parks for biking, and is contiguous with Edison, a larger suburban town. Keep in mind that taxes are high in NJ.
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amother
Hotpink


 

Post Thu, May 21 2020, 5:31 pm
Edison, NJ. The JCC is pretty diverse and accepting. They also service the surrounding areas of Jersey as well.
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OBnursemom




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, May 21 2020, 5:34 pm
Passaic? Baltimore? Waterbury?
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amother
Linen


 

Post Thu, May 21 2020, 6:28 pm
Hello! South bend indiana is a small town with a warm community.There is one main kosher restaurant/store and other options to purchase kosher. If you would like to hear more, please contact cdisouthbend@gmail.com
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Maryann




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, May 21 2020, 6:34 pm
amother [ Linen ] wrote:
Hello! South bend indiana is a small town with a warm community.There is one main kosher restaurant/store and other options to purchase kosher. If you would like to hear more, please contact cdisouthbend@gmail.com


Why do you keep advertising your community?
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amother
Aubergine


 

Post Thu, May 21 2020, 6:41 pm
amother [ Linen ] wrote:
Hello! South bend indiana is a small town with a warm community.There is one main kosher restaurant/store and other options to purchase kosher. If you would like to hear more, please contact cdisouthbend@gmail.com


Not on the East coast.
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amother
Linen


 

Post Thu, May 21 2020, 7:03 pm
true, it is not on the east coast. But it has that small town feeling the OP wrote about and it does have kosher options. It might be worth it for her to look into Smile
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amother
OP


 

Post Thu, May 21 2020, 7:09 pm
amother [ Linen ] wrote:
true, it is not on the east coast. But it has that small town feeling the OP wrote about and it does have kosher options. It might be worth it for her to look into Smile


I saw you post about your community on another thread and earlier today before I wrote this South Bend randomly popped into my head while I was making breakfast so I'm definitely not going to rule it out! We would ideally like to be on the east coast but we're open to other suggestions as well. I do have family in Michigan so South Bend would only be 3 hours away from some of my cousins which is close to us haha. Before quarantine we would drive that far regularly to visit family where we currently are.
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amother
Emerald


 

Post Thu, May 21 2020, 7:26 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
We homeschool so we're not too worried about school options right now. I just worry about him fitting in if we make aliyah now and we don't want him to lose his sunny disposition, he'll be 7 in July.


Is Israel so bad that it would be harmful to his disposition? In larger communities it’s unusual to homeschool.
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Rubber Ducky




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, May 21 2020, 8:10 pm
Baltimore has other mixed racial families, and overall is a very accepting place. It also has a strong home-schooling community. There are homes here that fit your budget.
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